[mslaydi]

I have been friends with this guy for about 8 months now. And he is 8 years older then me < which really isn't a big deal... To me any way! We stopped talking for the past 3 months because he had a baby with a girl and I know it truly was a big mistake for him and her, because I know them both, but regardless he will always be there for his kid. Anyway we just started hanging out again. And every time we hang out I'm always happy. He always makes me smile. There are times I wish we could have more alone time, but it can't always be that way giving both our living situations. Other then that things are really good, we are truly amazing friends.

In the beginning when we first started hanging out we both told each other we didn't want a relationship because 1. He had a baby on the way 2. I was just getting out of a relationship!
Now his baby is here and we are hanging out again, he told me the other night when I brought him home, that if he wasn't in such a bad situation in his life he would want us to be together... He said he does want us to be together because I'm the perfect girl for him, I stand by him 100% and I'm down for him. But the thing is its hard for us to be together because of both his and my situations at the time. =[

I really want us to be together, in the beginning I liked him as a really close friend and now I'm falling hard for him, but sometimes I feel like its not going to happen or if things will work out by waiting or maybe is he just "telling me what i want to hear"? He is the sweetest guy, he buys me flowers he's always there and sticks up for me, never puts me down, always smiles at me, he gets mad << [[not truly mad just a what the about me? Lol]] when I don't give him a hug when I see him and a kiss before I leave him.

I need someone's advise on wheather or not I should let things happen on their own or should I just forget it all together! Please help me what does everyone think about the situation! =[

[Wondergirl]

How old are you? And he? And the baby? And the girlfriend who had the baby?

[I wish]

Give it some time. You said you only recently started hanging out again? He's getting out of a complicated situation.

Just keep hanging out and see what happends. Go with the flow, don't try to force anything.

[pathisfer]

If you are indeed his perfect person and he wanted to be with you, wouldn't he? It sounds as though he is living with the mother of his child and probably sleeping with her and I doubt his conversations with her are "Hey, I'm just hanging out temporarily for the sake of the child because I'm going to be with the woman of my dreams here shortly". He's probably telling you both what you want to hear.
Who knows what will happen but I suspect you aren't seeing the whole pizza, he's giving you just a piece of it.
If he's not living with her and they are truly broken up and have moved on (custody order in place, established visitation, no blurred boundaries), then there is no reason he can't be with you.
He's hiding something would be my guess.

[kp2171]

He's a daddy first (I hope) and a date second.

Children change so much in the first 3 years... doesn't matter if it was a "mistake" for them to have a child. They do. And he needs to be the father that child deserves.

Does that mean you shouldn't date? Well... nothing is ever guaranteed.

You love some people but cannot be together due to "bad timing"... I've loved two women like that... we mightve been great together, but circumstances and timing we not in our favor.

So... can you wait? Scared to wait? Like I said, there's never any guarantee whether there is a child or not. If you choose to be with him, you choose to have her and the child in your life to some degree. You don't have to like her... but you do have to respect that she is the mother of his baby... and his baby deserves to know his love.

Nobody is going to torch you no matter what you choose. I ran away from one single mother with a young child when we first started dating... it was just too much for me at the time and it was better to step back hard early. Later, I dated, and married, another single mother. I was ready. It was time. She was right. It wasn't easy, but it really wasn't about what was easy.

So... that's a no answer answer...

I can't tell you what you are capable of. I don't know the details from your recent breakup. I don't know if the man is really a good match for you... he seems to treat you well, but a butler can treat you well and not be the man you should marry. Lots of details that don't show through the OP.

If you choose to walk, you just have to call it bad timing. If you choose to stay, you accept that you are choosing to deal with the fact he has a child and seems to be wanting to do the right thing for the child. You cannot stay and complain. You shouldn't accept being walked on or treated poorly by the mother... but you do need to accept that he will be spending time with his baby and that he will be having intense experiences that might make you feel "left out"...