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musicianguybrum · Apr 21, 2009, 08:09 AM

Hey there,

Right, so I went on my first date with this girl last week, and I'm seeing her again tomorro night...

We got on really well and ended up making out, grinding and stuff like that, which is really not like me, both of us wanted to go all the way, but had to restrain ourselves, due to those unwritten rules about 1st dates... (whoever wrote them, I hate you)

But, I'm seeing her again tomorro as I said, and I do want to go further with her, but I also don't want to rush things, what would you say is the most we can do together tomorro in your opinions? We have been speaking to each other for a month or so now, and really have clicked... We have chatted about sex and stuff like that, and I think she is more experienced than me in that department, but again, I don't want to rush things, but on the other hand, if I really like her, why wait? We get on great, have loads in common, and she finds my innappopriate and rubbish jokes hilarious...

Thanks :)

artlady · Apr 21, 2009, 08:22 AM

This is not something you can plan with any certainty.

I would say be open to the possibilities and be spontaneous.
To be safe and ready,bring condoms.

She will let you know how she is feeling and if you have any questions or are unsure,don't be afraid to ask.

We women find that a very endearing quality,a man who admits he does not know everything :)

talaniman · Apr 21, 2009, 08:36 AM

If I really like her, why wait?

Because if you start with lust, and not explore other things you will crash, and burn, when the lust wears off, and there is nothing else left. That's why you wait, so you won't take lust as love, and get your hearts broken.

I wish · Apr 21, 2009, 09:45 AM

The longer you wait and the more you get to know each other to make sure that it's what you want, the more special it is.

You can never take back the first time with any girl, so make sure that's what you really want. Is it all about the sex or because you really care about this girl?

musicianguybrum · Apr 21, 2009, 09:47 AM

Think I really like her... and I know she likes me back, its strange, but things are moving really fast, we are trying to slow it down, but when we are actually together, its like we can't keep our hands off each other, and never have any periods of quiet, always chatting...

Justwantfair · Apr 21, 2009, 09:52 AM

How old are you? This plays a huge factor.

Make sure to masterbate prior to the date, helps with your hormones.

kctiger · Apr 21, 2009, 09:56 AM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

How old are you? This plays a huge factor.

Make sure to masterbate prior to the date, helps with your hormones.

You mean to clean out your pipes... flog the dolphin... just make sure you don't get anything in your hair! :cool:

artlady · Apr 21, 2009, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by musicianguybrum

Think i really like her... and i know she likes me back, its strange, but things are moving really fast, we are trying to slow it down, but when we are actually together, its like we can't keep our hands off eachother, and never have any periods of quiet, always chatting...

I moved fast with my BF and we are coming up on 12 yrs.

When the feeling is there and you are consenting adults,I don't see any harm.

Clearly,there is more to a relationship than lust and I don't think you will crash and burn too soon.

Sometimes we just have to give in to our passion.

I realize I am in the minority with my take on this but oh :rolleyes:

JudyKayTee · Apr 21, 2009, 10:01 AM

Originally Posted by artlady

I realize I am in the minority with my take on this but oh :rolleyes:

Without giving out too many details - you aren't entirely in the minority. My husband asked me to marry him on our first date. I thought he was crazy. We got married about 8 weeks later. Everybody thought we were both crazy.

It worked. We clicked. It was fate. It was karma. It was a giant leap of faith. In retrospect, yes, we must have been crazy.

So - I don't know that starting "in lust" means that a relationship is doomed. I would like to mention that there was no first date pawing. I have no comment on the second, third and subsequent dates.

I am absolutely not joking - we had magic.

JudyKayTee · Apr 21, 2009, 10:02 AM

What is a cracking girl?

musicianguybrum · Apr 21, 2009, 10:10 AM

I'm 22, and so is she :) I'm a month older... I know, there is something there, and to be honest, I want to kiss her, and cuddle up to her... I'm a snuggly kind of guy :D

musicianguybrum · Apr 21, 2009, 10:11 AM

cracking girl = a great girl, nice, friendly, sweet, pretty, funny, effectionate...

kctiger · Apr 21, 2009, 10:12 AM

Seems like you are already way too attached...

musicianguybrum · Apr 21, 2009, 10:14 AM

Yeah, but that's the sort of guy I am, get attached easily, but to be honest, I don't think there is much wrong with that, I think she is too... just want to give it a go, and if stuff happens it happens I suppose...

musicianguybrum · Apr 21, 2009, 10:17 AM

I know exactely what you mean, but I've taken it slow before, and it never moved forward, and I'm not sure if I want to risk that... its strange really, but although I know its early days, I want to get close to her, don't care if we don't have sex for a while, just want to cuddle up together and chat in an intimate setting...

JudyKayTee · Apr 21, 2009, 10:52 AM

Define an "intimate setting" for me - I can't decide if you are looking to snuggle with her, have intercourse or something in between.

And now I'm going to preach - I would hope you both have discussed your sexual histories and you are going to protect yourselves?

JudyKayTee · Apr 21, 2009, 10:53 AM

[QUOTE=Comments on this post
artlady agrees: I am still in it for the long haul so I guess there is no hard and fast rule,no pun intended!.[/QUOTE]

I am on the floor with laughter! Good one - intentional or not!

musicianguybrum · Apr 21, 2009, 11:03 AM

Intimate setting, is a glass of wine in my flat on the sofa, with some relaxing music in the background cuddling up to each other. Kisssing and talking all night

musicianguybrum · Apr 21, 2009, 11:21 AM

Oh, and never had unprotected sex, don't intend to until I'm settled...

Jake2008 · Apr 21, 2009, 11:31 AM

I married my husband when I was just a year older than you. I'd say just do it. Do it as much as you possibly can because some day you will be wishing you had, if you hadn't.

Having sex with her in my opinion, won't determine if anything will develop from there. It could lead to a long, loving relationship.