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dee_cooper · Apr 18, 2009, 08:22 PM

Me and my husband have been married for three years and we lost our son three years ago at birth he was born way to early. We have tried to have another but faliure has swept over us so much. We wish to adopt a child from someone not an agent for we believe that the parent of the child had the right to know that a lot of agents want the money and don't care about the children. Am 21 and my husbands 24 am a ccaregiver for the state of washingtion and my husband works at a tree farm through a warehouse. I also work at a daycare. We so want to be parents so bad to a little boy or girl and I just wish we could find the right person to let us be the loving parents we so strongly want to be...

If you have any suggestions on anything please help us we want to be a full family...

Synnen · Apr 19, 2009, 08:33 AM

I suggest you use a state agency, or a social services agency for the adoption.

Lutheran Social Services comes to mind, or Catholic Charities.

Adoption is expensive because of the need to make sure that everything is in the best interest of the child. It has nothing to do with the agency earning a fee. The court costs, the medical costs, the lawyer's fees, the background checks---all of that costs MONEY, and the adoption agency certainly isn't going to ask a birthmother to pay those fees!

There IS no getting a baby for free. Even if you have one naturally, it's expensive. Adoption actually SHOULD remain expensive, because that makes sure that people are adopting for the RIGHT reasons, and are not adopting to get a "slave" for a child, or adopting for sexual perversions, or to pimp the child out on the street.

If you want a child and want to skip all the fees---try your local foster care system. There are literally THOUSANDS of children who need a stabilizing parent in their life.

If all you want is a BABY--well, then you're not adopting for the right reasons anyway. But if you are looking for a child to love, really the foster care system is DESPERATE for parents who want a child to love.

dee_cooper · Apr 19, 2009, 09:45 AM

We are willing to pay those fee's and no were not wanting just an infant we are actually looking into adopting from Alaska because my husband is native alakin and you have to have native blood to adopt from there.. and were looking to adopt a family of three who are six four and two they ae amazing children...

The reason that we fain awa from an agent is because all the ones we have talk to we asked what they get out of the money and they said about 10% and that's not right to me... a child is a gift from God and it should not be up for sale to the highest bidder...

Synnen · Apr 19, 2009, 04:06 PM

Yes, well... the REALITY is that if you are using a private agency, those people need to be paid SOMEHOW.

If you are using a public or charitable agency, I sincerely doubt that they are getting a "commission" for placing children---that's FAR too close to baby selling, which is illegal no matter WHERE you are in the U.S.

Again, try your state's foster care system. Believe me, while those children may be more of a challenge in some cases, ALL of those children need love.

stevetcg · Apr 20, 2009, 03:23 AM

Not to be a total downer here but based on your other thread...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...do-343245.html

You should probably focus on saving your marriage before adopting. Once you are stable, then look into adoption.

dee_cooper · Apr 20, 2009, 05:26 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Not to be a total downer here but based on your other thread...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...do-343245.html

you should probably focus on saving your marriage before adopting. Once you are stable, then look into adoption.

Thanks but we figured it out the over the last few days... my marriage is just fine I believe all women get a worried about gainign a few to many extra pounds but that wasn't the case if you my thread you'll get the full picture and we have decided that we are going to wait a few years beofre adopting a try again at having one of our own.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...do-343245.html

harlem girl · Apr 22, 2009, 08:25 PM

Hi you won't reget it I have an adopted son he is 9 now he is the love of my life my husben and I adopted him when he was born I can't have kids but I have one now he is beautiful I have an closed adoption:)