[loulou1978]

You need to see him for what he is, jumping from female to female whenever he wants, and he is not an ex, because he has many women and you were just one. You got played and would have been played some more had you not ended it.

When ever you think of him, thats a sign you need to find something else to do with yourself. Make a meal for your husband.

Yeah I need to be extra extra busy, I've already walked the dog today!! But it's the uk and its flaming freezing out there lol. I can only stay out there for so long. Ive rung the hubby and were off out to ikea tonight to look at possibly a new kitchen in the future, I know its nothing extravagant but it gets me out of the house and keeps me occupied.

Im so fed up of him playing these mind games with me, him just disappearing off the scene when he feels fit.

The way I feel at the mo I really don't know how I'm going to get through each day, its really affecting my health, I've lost so much weight, I'm 6f tall and weight just 8 stone. Most days I just don't want to get out of bed in the morning as it seems a struggle to make it through the day, what's wrong with me??

[loulou1978]

I stupidly text the ex before, saying thanks for ignoring me after you know what I'm going through at the mo with the scare. I said that he can't even text me to say hoep all goes well, just cuts off all contact with me?? He just can't be arsed replying. How can someone be that cruel. This has to be the end of this mess, I'm going to end up dead if I carry on with this.

That's it, I'm NEVER EVER going to text him again, I just get the feeling that he don't care if I live or die and that hurts like hell. He probably loves that I've texted him in the first place knowing him.

[talaniman]

Stop dwelling on him, and start doing something good for yourself, and your husband, like get a job, or take a class, or even better, volunteer at an old folks home, or hospital and see some people who have real problems through no real fault of there own.

Now you know how harsh w can get when we think your sitting on that pity pot, don't you? HEHEHE!! Get busy.

Click on the link in my signature thats says "stickies".

[loulou1978]

Stop dwelling on him, and start doing something good for yourself, and your husband, like get a job, or take a class, or even better, volunteer at an old folks home, or hospital and see some people who have real problems thru no real fault of there own.

Now you know how harsh w can get when we think your sitting on that pity pot, don't you?? HEHEHE!!!! Get busy.

Click on the link in my signature thats says "stickies".

I know how harsh you guys can gets lol, believe me I'm the 1st peson who knows that there are so many more people out there with a lot worse cases than mine. On a good day, I can't believe the wonderful life that I have got e.g. nice house,car, hubby, mates etc etc.

Im looking for a job and I'm trying so hard but being so highly qualified I'm being told that I isn't got enough experience and I have too high level qualifications which is getting me down!!

No more pity pot for me, I'm going to live my life to the full and try and look forward to my trip which is onlly a month away, I'm sorry for my moaning, you lot have helped to see that there are so many more important people out there, people that care if I'm alive and don't have cancer!!

It just hurts when he knows what I'm going through right now and just plays his mind games, yes I told him to go away but because he told me about the woman he slept with, how does he expect me too feel, to bring her to my house and il bake her a cake. At the end of the end I just think that a simple text to say look you told me too f&*K off and I'm going to do that and I hope your OK right now and the scare don't turn out to cancer. But that isn't going to happen anytime soon. I will happen in a month or so when I'm rebuilding the wall so he can knock it back down. Well when he comes knocking in a month or whenever the door is going to be well and truly SHUT IN HIS UGLY FACE.

[talaniman]

We LOVE ANGER, and RANTS, to vent.

[N0help4u]

Ahhh you are NOT bothered that he is with somebody else... you are bothered with yourself for falling for his game BUT you project the bothered onto the other woman and THINK it is that he is with her when in reality you are bothered with yourself for allowing yourself for falling for his game.

NO MATTER WHAT you need to break away because he is really enjoying his little cat and mouse game. The end is going to be you hurt and him having the last laugh.

[loulou1978]

I think that if I understood why he has to treat me badly then it would be easier for me to move on. But I don't ever think that I'm going to find that out. Everyone has arguments and yes I told him to pi%% off but who wouldn't when I found out what he had done. He always does this, he is horrible to me and then I tell him to go, and he goes and I miss him so text him and then out of spite don't reply for a week or two.

What hurts is the fact that I could be seriously ill and he don't seem to care, no text to say hope all goes well etc etc. If I had that nice text from him saying that he wishes me well then it would be easier for me to move on, but he isn't going to make anything easy for me. For him, the pain and hurt I'm going through at this point in time the better.

Im sure il survive, no pity horse for me remember!! I don't know why I care when he so clearly does not for me by way of his actions.?

[N0help4u]

I think that if i understood why he has to treat me badly then it would be easier for me to move on. But i dont ever think that im going to find that out.

That is exactly what he is banking on... YOUR NEED to find out what his real motives are.
In the meantime he is very most likely laughing that "he has you exactly where he wants you"

You need to gain the upper hand and not give a rats @$$.

[loulou1978]

That is exactly what he is banking on......YOUR NEED to find out what his real motives are.
In the meantime he is very most likely laughing that "he has you exactly where he wants you"

You need to gain the upper hand and not give a rats @$$.

You are completley correct, I text him and said text me back before 2pm or I'm moving on etc etc. He never texted me which I didn't think he would so I just dropped him a text saying... I see you have made you choice, I wish you nothing but happiness for the future, take care and goodbye.

That's my final text to him, no doubt he will text me at a later date saying that he was working so he couldn't text me or give me some excuse why he didn't text. Ive had eough of these games, I've told him this so many times. Its like it is all a big joke to him, life is far too short to be wasting on people that just want to play mind games with me I'm afraid.

I ask him what he wants from me and a couple of times he said that he wants us to get back together again, but his weird ways stopped me from doing this in the past. Its like he is with someone and then gets bored/cold feet and jumps ship. I don't think he is ready at 30 yrs old to have an adult relationship.

I need to try and concentrate on me and hubby now, its so hard not thinking of him, everything I do and everywhere I go reminds me of him. Im assuming that's natural and I'm not cracking up??

[loulou1978]

Its so frustrating having a one way text conversation with him. Ive told him I'm not ding this anymore and that I'm never going to text him again but I think he thinks I'm bluffi ng as I've always given in in the past and ended up texting him which makes me so so mad.

I need to put my mind right and be determined not to text him this time, make him see that I won't be a push over any longer in his life. How do I stop myself texting him?? Answers on a postcard please!!

[talaniman]

When you finally start No Contact, you will start the healing process. Continuing to text him, "one more time" will keep you confused and miserable. Read those stickies!!

[loulou1978]

When you finally start No Contact, you will start the healing process. Continuing to text him, "one more time" will keep you confused and miserable. Read those stickies!!!!!!!!

That's true, when I did NC last time everyday seemed to get better and better and that's why I got so annoyed with myself when I texted him back after so long!! I could have been well on the road to recovery by now.

Any suggestions when I'm having a weak moment and go and think about texting him??

[loulou1978]

Ive been having a think about my situation, and know that when the ex comes running back in time that I will feel really bad if I don't answer his calls (I mean bad in the sense of being rude if I don't answer them) is this silly of me.

Im doing my best not to grab my phone and text him and ask him why he is treating me this way as I'm so mad!! I need to think of a way too not want to pick up the phone a give him a piece of my mind

[talaniman]

Do something nice for you, or your husband when those feelings come up, and over time, they will fade.

[loulou1978]

I'm trying so so hard. It's the nights that are the worse, just lying there wondering what he is doing and who is with. I try blocking it out of my mind but just cant. Im considering going to the docs for sleeping tablets but don't know if that's the answer. Ive tried all these herbal remedies but they don't help at all. How do you get through the nights?? /

[loulou1978]

How many glasses of wine does it take to make the pain go away?? I'm going through a bottle a day at the moment and I'm sure that's not good when I'm not eating. I wouldn't mind but the ex has got a face that only his mother could love so why am I upset??

[N0help4u]

You have solid concrete good things so you need to focus on that.
If he calls, texts or whatever ignore it.
If you do happen to answer gain control of the conversation and don't let him wrap you around your finger.
Like if you happen to answer the phone not knowing it is him ask him why he is so desperate that he is after a happily married woman? Can't he find a free single girl of his own?
Concentrate on romance with your husband make a great candle light dinner and share the bottle of wine with him.

[Survivor07]

im trying so so hard. Its the nights that are the worse, just lying there wondering what he is doing and who is with. I try blocking it out of my mind but just cant. Im considering going to the docs for sleeping tablets but dont know if thats the answer. Ive tried all these herbal remedies but they dont help at all. How do you get through the nights??????/

Try being a wife. That is what you are. The more of your posts I read the more I feel like never getting married again. How sad. You have a husband who is so out of the picture.

When you can't sleep, cuddle with hubby. When you think of texting the loser, sit down and write your hubby a love letter.

Seriously, do you think you need a professional therapist here?

I'm not trying to be mean to you, it's just so hard to read this. Imagine what your husband would think if he knew how you were truly feeling?

How would you feel if you found out your husband had something like this going on with another woman?

I can't figure out why you are so attached/drawn to this creep. There's got to be deeper issues.

[N0help4u]

Try being a wife.
Imagine what your husband would think if he knew how you were truly feeling?

How would you feel if you found out your husband had something like this going on with another woman?

I can't figure out why you are so attached/drawn to this creep. There's got to be deeper issues.

BINGO.
She needs to do things with her husband and be there for him. The ex has to be 100% creep. She needs to realize the reality of that before its too late.

[Survivor07]

I don't understand where hubby is all day and night? Is this the problem?

He has to notice there is something going on OR more importantly what isn't going on--between him and his wife!