[Theone1234]

Bear with me as I will go into some detail about the situation as to give you a clear understanding.

I was with my girlfriend for 16 months, we were in love. We are both 22 and met at university. She carried on at university and I moved back home (3 hours drive away). I went to work after Uni, and we spoke every night without fail. I would drive to visit her roughly every 3 weeks.

We have had some amazing times together and neither of us did anything bad to end the relationship, and we never had an argument every thing was peachy.

The reason that she ended it is because she said that she no longer thought that the magic was there, she also claims another reason is that she doesn't want to be tied into anything. (I say claims because she knows very well that I would support her in her ambitions)

We were together for a weekend 2 weeks ago and she told me then that she was having doubts. I was very upset and she wanted to have a break as she was going abroad on a holiday.

I also found out that her best friend was also having doubts about her boyfriend. I am annoyed that my girlfriend only spoke to this other girl and I assume they mentioned many negatives and made each other feel bad about their relationships.

When she came back from holiday she asked to see me 5 days later. I admit to making the mistake of speaking to her too much at this time as I did not know the problems or what her feelings were. I eventually managed to get her to tell the truth and we were no longer together.

I still went to visit her at home for the morning to get closure. At this point she said that the magic wasn't there any more, she also said that she wants to do so much more while she is young. She also admitted to have very basic feelings for other guys. One of these guys she didn't know before the holiday and I think that she was having doubts about me and compared this other person with me. She assures me that there will be nothing happen because they have girlfriends, although I happen to know that she really likes one of these guys.

I still really love this girl and she makes me so happy when we are together, I am missing such a massive part of my life. I tried the no contact rule and felt as though she was moving further away so I spoke to her tonight.

I feel that if I don't keep me in her mind she will just forget and then there will be no chance of us ever getting back, we have agreed to speak once a week and I am happy with this arrangement. She said that she does not miss me but does miss not having someone being there for her.

I think that when she is finished with uni she will come back to her home and will need to have someone there to be with as her friends from uni will not be there. We had plans to move closer together and start to take life seriously.

We both had an amazing time together and we lost our virginity to each other. What we had was magical and a lot of our mutual friends say we were a fantastic couple.

Do people change their minds? What can I do to help things go my way? What shall I do to control my emotions?

Thank you for taking time to help me out.

[I wish]

Sounds like a typical situation. There's nothing you could have done. There's nothing she could have done. Her feelings changed, simple as that. You can't convince someone to like you, they either do or they don't.

I suggest you let her be and try to move on with your life. I know you still really care about her, but one-way relationships don't work.

Stick with the no contact rules. The longer you drag this out, the longer it will take for you to heal.

[talaniman]

While its normal to have fear, and false hope, after a break up, to act on them is not healthy.

Accept her feelings have changed, and GET A LIFE THAT YOU ENJOY WITHOUT HER.

That and no contact what so ever will let you heal and face reality in a mature, positive way, and you can keep your dignity and self respect, by doing the right things for yourself.

You have had your first relationship, and your first break up. Learn from the experience and grow from it, but do move on.

That's how you deal with your feelings, by being good to yourself, by not lying to yourself.