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Tamara32 · Apr 12, 2009, 06:51 AM

I am confused as whether to stay in this relationship. My boyfriend and I got married after 1yr8months. We are from 2 different countries and met while studying in another country.This year it will be 1 year we spent as husband and wife.
I feel we got married to early - we are both 23
He is always sneaky and lies constantly .when confronted with the truth he gets defensive and tells me to mind my own business. It is very frustrating as he broke my trust before.

nitelight198073 · Apr 12, 2009, 07:51 AM

If you cannot trust him there is no love no trust is a big issue. My opinion if he is hiding things he could be cheating... so I believe you should either get counsleing or break up.

Tamara32 · Apr 12, 2009, 08:16 AM

I don't know if he cheated but one thing I know is that he has sex chat online and when for him therz nothing wrong in doing so.

nitelight198073 · Apr 12, 2009, 08:22 AM

Originally Posted by Tamara32

I dont know if he cheated but one thing i know is that he has sex chat online and when for him therz nothing wrong in doing so.

It is very wrong do not let him pull the wool over your eyes sex is wrong online over phone or in person

Tamara32 · Apr 12, 2009, 08:53 AM

Thank you for the opinion .
I appreciate

nitelight198073 · Apr 12, 2009, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by Tamara32

thank you for the opinion .
I appreciate

It is no prob any time

phoxphyer78 · Apr 12, 2009, 03:37 PM

OMG, this is the same problem I'm having. Only, I know I need to leave his . I just don't know where to go at this point. Because we got married in London. I hope things work out for you. Follow your heart.

Tamara32 · Apr 13, 2009, 08:58 AM

thks.. I wish Ill get the courage.. I still do love him a lot and I know that the feeling is mutual .We both made a lot of sacrifices.
I don't have the guts to leave him - because when I left my studies which was in Country X to come and stay with him in Country Y , I did not have a job and he was working full time so that we could get the papers sorted to get married .

Its kind of confusing emotions - I feel trapped because I feel I can't leave him bacause I have been dependent on him ,emotionally -since I had none of my circle of friends in Country Y - & financially as well .

I move in Country Z -where he lived for almost 14yrs -this year and its even worse , I've got to learn the language and again start over.. Its like being isolated .

any sound advice , I would really appreciate.

liz28 · Apr 13, 2009, 02:34 PM

Don't ever stay with someone just because you don't want to start over. If you see that your husband is constantly lying and sneaking around then yes he is up to no good. And that point is proven because he gets defensive whenever you question his motives/actions.

In the end you need to do what is right for you. Do I think you got married too quick yes. You bearly knew this guy from the start and just uprooted your life for him. Why?

Don't ever mistake emotional abuse for love and stay with someone when your heart isn't in nor try your hardest to make a marriage last when the other person isn't. Besides anything you deserve to be happy and loved. Otherwise your just be stuck in a "loveless dead end marriage". I wouldn't want to live my life like that.