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shawanna · Apr 12, 2009, 05:22 AM

My name is Shawanna. Almost three years ago I gave custody of my son to his fathers mother. This year we have been spending time together and my son informed me that he has never received child support from me. His grandmother informed him that I have never paid child support. I have never missed a payment for 3 years. To make a long story short my son wants to move to Washington, d.c with my mother. How can I get custody back.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 12, 2009, 06:14 AM

First of course the "son" does not get the money, it is not given to him, it is used by the people who are raising him to pay for housing, for food, for the doctor, for school. So the son needs to be told that he will never receive the money, since the money is not paid to him. If he was given 10 dollars for the movies, or 40 dollars for some clothes, he wsa getting some of the money.

And if he wants to move with YOUR MOTHER< that is not you getting custody, that is your mother getting custody, So your mother can file for custody and have the boy testify he wants to go there, and the courts may consider it, but they will also look at what is best for the child, not just what he wants.

Also who are you sending the check to, the father, the fathers mother or the courts ?

shawanna · Apr 12, 2009, 07:05 AM

What do I have to do get custody. She is allowing him to go to our home town to visit, but I must pay for her train ticket and her husband.

shawanna · Apr 12, 2009, 07:11 AM

If I gave up my parentla rights, can I get them back. what do I need to do. I can not afford an attorney.

JudyKayTee · Apr 12, 2009, 07:35 AM

Probably not without an Attorney - why did you give them up? Was it either surrender your rights or have the Court take them away?

shawanna · Apr 12, 2009, 10:21 AM

Our court case involved my oldest son who made sexual advances towards his brothers. My husband chestize him and the courts became involved. We had to complete parenting classes and anger management. The drop the charges against us and stated that there was no prove of child abuse. My son did not want to come back home and request to stay with his grandmother. Allowing him to make his own decision is what I was doing. Three years have past and my son is starting to come around, and do family things with us. I never brought up getting him, because I did not want to pressure him. He request to come over and have a family meeting with me and my husband. My son stated that he is now ready to come back home. He stated that he misses his sibilings. What can I do. I will never want to take his grandmother out of his life, but I can not spend time with him without three of his friends. If I can not get custody , can I have summer breaks, holiday's etc.

ScottGem · Apr 12, 2009, 10:25 AM

You are talking apples and oranges here. Did you actually have your parental rights terminated by a court? Or did your parents get custody of him? Was this done by a court? Were there any conditions placed on the custody? Do the grandparents not want him to come back?

Generally a Termination of Parental Rights ordered by a court is irrevocable. But its not clear what has really happened here. It might also help to know what state you live in.

shawanna · Apr 12, 2009, 11:30 AM

I informed the judge that my son could stay with his grand-mother (his father mother). The judge stated that I would be giving up my parentla rights. Can I get them back now, since my son is wanting to come back home.

ScottGem · Apr 12, 2009, 12:29 PM

First, please do not start a new thread with a follow-up question. Just reply to this thread. The threads have been merged.

I really doubt that a judge would say that. But it doesn't matter what the judge said, it matters what the judge ordered in writing. It sounds like you have a tangled mess here and you need to get a lawyer to unravel it.

JudyKayTee · Apr 12, 2009, 07:12 PM

You really didn't answer the question about how custody was transferred or surrendered - at any rate, you need an Attorney.