[Cait1234]

I need some serious help! I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. I couldn't be more in love and more happier than I am when I'm with him. And I seriously want to marry him. But I have then biggest problem that is driving us apart and it's breaking my heart. I just can't seem to stop.

I am way way over jealous. I get mad over the supidest, smallest things. I'm a bit paranoid and probably have a low self-esteem no matter how often he tells me I'm beautiful. If I was a good person I would probably break-up with him myself to get him away from me. But I love him too much and I think he loves me too much and that's the only reason he hasn't broken up with me yet.

I say I trust him, but they way I act it seems like I don't. I feel that if I keep saying and doing things that he will do something to hurt me, but only because I pushed him to do it. I deserve it anyways.

I know that it's wrong and that it's stupid but I can't stop for some reason. I have a serious serious problem and I really need help. I need help to get over my jealousy.

[I wish]

There are at least two angles to see this problem from.

1) Is it your problem? Have you had bad experiences that made you lose trust in everyone, including someone who loves you?

2) Is it his problem? Did he do something that made you loose your trust in him? You are very lucky that he is sticking around. Jealousy can really drive your significant other away in a hurry.

Spend some time trying to find the cause of the jealousy first, before you overcome it.

[Cait1234]

Well it definately is my problem. He hasn't done anything. But I'm not sure that I have had that bad of an experience to make me so bad about it. My last relationship was a long distant relationship, so I guess that could have something to do with it.

[Justwantfair]

Building self esteem, isn't about people telling you that you are beautiful.

You have to feel it yourself.

It is difficult to build self esteem while you are in a relationship. Self esteem is based on your value of yourself, not your value with another person.

You need to start doing things on your own. Making friends, finding activities. Maybe a break is in order so that you can really develop who you are. If he loves you, this would be the best thing you could do for your future together.

[artlady]

The bottom line is that you need to understand you are tormenting yourself and potentially destroying this relationship.

All the obsessing in the world isn't going to make your partner faithful.You can obsess over what he is thinking,doing 24/7 and all your going to achieve is a broken foundation in the relationship.
I am referring you to Dr.Phil and his advice for people who are having jealousy issues such as yourself.It is a must read!

Dr. Phil.com - Advice - Controlling Jealousy

[Cait1234]

Thank you all for all of the help!