[bananaBean]

Okay Im having some trouble with my sister. She doesn't like my fiancé but she doesn't know him and won't even give him a chance. The first time I introduced her to him, he went to shake her hand she looked down at it and turned her back then walked away. Id don't know what the deal is with her. She has been like that with every guy I ever hung out with. (boyfriends and friends) She hated all the guys before him but then as soon as we break up or stop hanging out she would turn into their best friend.
During holidays she won't acknowledge him or even if he is just around. I don't want to allow it to continue but she is hard headed and if you try to talk to her she turns it into a conflict and keeps her children away from me. Then it turns into a tension among the family. We are planning to get married in a couple of years and we are starting to plan for the wedding. I don't know how to get her to come around and drop her childish behavior so she can be apart of this wedding. I haven't even told her about the engagement yet. I have told my other sisters and I we will tell the parents together when he gets back from Iraq. My other sisters are happy and thrilled about the marriage. So what should I do to get my sister to be happy for us and be apart of this beautiful life that we are planning together? Also if she doesn't come around how do I let her know that I won't stand for disrespect and she will not be asked to be in the wedding? I really want her to be there but I don't think it is okay to allow her behavior towards my fiancé. If someone has any ideas or suggestions please let me know. I feel torn between my future and my sister.:(

[Jake2008]

I don't think you should be stuck between your love and your sister.

And I don't think that you should treat her any differently than any other member of your family.

When you tell her you are getting married, tell her the same way you told the others. Her approval is not required, and you don't need to argue why you are marrying your love, or justify anything! Don't respond to any negativity from her.

It is up to her if she wants to attend or not, or be a sour puss and miserable and stew in her own misery. Let her make that choice.

Take the high road. Don't be baited. Enjoy every second of the next few years while you plan your special day. If you allow her to influence you by her being such a negative person, you'll have no one to blame for the bad memories but yourself.

Enjoy this time in your life, stay happy, and don't worry. If she isn't getting the reactions she wants, she'll back off. Likely she'll come around. But if she chooses not to, it will most definitely be her loss.