[45notdaddy]

This morning I was served with a paternity summons filed by a woman I haven't seen or heard from in nearly ten years. I'm 98% sure it's not my child. The 2% comes from the fact that we did have a relationship in the alleged time frame.
I found out she was already pregnant (by at least a month) before we started the relationship. I still wanted to stick by her but about two weeks later she was off to a new guy terminating our relationship.

Some added tidbits:

• My whereabouts were easy to ascertain - I was on probation during the entire relationship, and beyond the child's date of birth.
• Her family helped me move to a new apartment where I lived for a few months, even after the relationship ended.
• I'm unemployed & have absolutely NOTHING as far as income. I spent $60 of my last $80 to buy an hour of legal advice. I have no other assets.

My hour of legal advice will be used to file a response to the allegation, denying paternity and requesting DNA testing. What I need are questions to ask in regards to my rights in this matter.

• 9 1/2 or 10 years later? Why? Why should I be responsible for ten years of past child support when no legal effort has been made to contact me until now?
• If it is my child (as alleged), can I countersue? If it is my child, I've been denied parental rights for nearly ten years.
• If it is not my child, as I maintain, can I sue her for disrupting my life / damaging my reputation & present / future relationships, or at least the costs incurred for proving that the child is not mine?
• How do I insulate my current girlfriend (of nearly 10 years) from financial liability in this matter? She's my means of support and living arrangements at this time. I was actually denied free legal help because she (read: the household) makes too much money, even though we're scraping by as it is.

[stevetcg]

1) its possible that she applied for government support. One of the issues with that is that she is required to list all *possible* fathers.
2) no, sorry. If you thought it was yours, the burden of proof was yours for the last 10 years.
3) No, you cannot.
4) your current girlfriend has nothing to do with the proceeding and is insulated by design.

[45notdaddy]

1) its possible that she applied for government support. One of the issues with that is that she is required to list all *possible* fathers.

Sounds about right.

2) no, sorry. If you thought it was yours, the burden of proof was yours for the last 10 years.

I was given the impression - by her that I was NOT the father and that I couldn't be the father

3) No, you cannot.

<unprintable> That's unfortunate.

4) your current girlfriend has nothing to do with the proceeding and is insulated by design.

Even as current sole means of support? If so then that at least is a load off our minds.

[stevetcg]

I was given the impression - by her that I was NOT the father and that I couldn't be the father

Sure - that sucks. But that it has been your right to challenge paternity yourself, regardless of what she said. As far as the court is concerned, ignorance is no excuse (works against you sometimes)

<unprintable> That's unfortunate.

It is, but sometimes that's the downside of old relationships... they come back and bite you in the butt.

Even as current sole means of support? If so then that at least is a load off our minds.

If you turn out to be the father, you will be assessed support at the minimal level for the state of action. The fact that you do not work will not affect that at all. Your partner's income will not factor into the support assessment. You can probably Google the minimal amount of support for the state that the child lives in (not sure if they or you are in FL... )

Its certainly a sucky situation. How many of us have wondered if we would ever get that call? I know I have. I've had a bit of a past and it wouldn't be the first time something has sneaked up on me.

[nikosmom]

1)4) your current girlfriend has nothing to do with the proceeding and is insulated by design.

To add to steve:

Yes, your current girlfriend will not be responsible for paying the child support just because you live together.

EDIT: Almost forgot to click 'submit' and when I came back, steve had already explained this!

[45notdaddy]

Sure - that sucks. But the fact of the matter is that it has been your right to challenge paternity yourself, regardless of what she said. As far as the court is concerned, ignorance is no excuse (works against you sometimes)

Great

It is, but sometimes thats the downside of old relationships... they come back and bite you in the butt.

I should have known better than to think with my dipstick.

If you turn out to be the father, you will be assessed support at the minimal level for the state of action. The fact that you do not work will not affect that at all. Your partner's income will not factor into the support assessment. You can probably google the minimal amount of support for the state that the child lives in (not sure if they or you are in FL...)

We're both in Florida, just different counties.

Its certainly a sucky situation. How many of us have wondered if we would ever get that call? I know I have. I've had a bit of a past and it wouldn't be the first time something has sneaked up on me.

The thing that kills me is that if she was so bloody concerned with this, where was she ten years ago when she could have easily contacted me? Heck her sister was on probation at the same time I was and TOOK me to some of my appointments! I'm trying hard not to be spiteful, but man I can't get DNA tested fast enough.

[45notdaddy]

I'm confused about another point.
If, as has been stated here, my girlfriend can't be held responsible for my debt, (thankfully FL is not a common law state) why am I unable to qualify for pro-bono representation? I was denied service because she makes more than the limit and allows me to live with her. I was told that it was based on "household" income. I'm not legally her dependent, she can't claim me on her taxes, according to my understanding - what's her's is her's and vice versa, so why am I denied assistance? It's only through her good graces that I'm not homeless and hungry on the street.

[stevetcg]

Different rules for different departments.

This isn't to say that you will skate by with a minimal payment. The actual law says you can be held responsible for what you could potentially make if you were willfully un or under employed.

Many states will factor in household income into a calculation but Florida is not one of them. No state will hold HER liable for your debt. The worst that can happen is that YOUR payment is higher because she is supporting you. But again, not in FL.

Florida Guideline:
(a) Salary or wages, bonuses, commissions, allowances, overtime, tips, and other similar payments, business income from sources such as self-employment, partnership, close corporations, and independent contracts (minus ordinary and necessary expenses required to produce income), disability benefits, worker's compensation, unemployment compensation. Pension, retirement, or annuity payments, social security benefits, spousal support received from a previous marriage or court ordered in the marriage before the court, interest and dividends, rental income (which is gross receipts minus ordinary and necessary expenses required to produce the income), income from royalties, trusts, or estates, reimbursed expenses or in kind payments to the extent that they reduce living expenses, gains derived from dealings in property (unless the gain is nonrecurring).

(b) Income on a monthly basis shall be imputed to an unemployed or underemployed parent when such employment or underemployment is found to be voluntary on that parent's part, absent physical or mental incapacity or other circumstances over which the parent has no control. In the event of such voluntary unemployment or underemployment, the employment potential and probable earnings level of the parent shall be determined based upon his or her recent work history, occupational qualifications, and prevailing earnings level in the community; however, the court may refuse to impute income to a primary residential parent if the court finds it necessary for the parent to stay home with the child.

[45notdaddy]

Different rules for different departments.

It feels like they'd prefer I be homeless

[stevetcg]

It feels like they'd prefer I be homeless

Sure - the math is easier that way. :)

[stevetcg]

Incidentally, she may be able to claim you on her taxes is she files head of household. There is a check list to go through, but its worth investigating. :)

[45notdaddy]

Incidentally, she may be able to claim you on her taxes is she files head of household. There is a check list to go through, but its worth investigating. :)

She's looked into it. Apparently it's not an option, though I'm not sure what's missing.

What options do I have here? I'm desperately afraid of not being able to have representation in this matter should it move forward beyond the testing phase. I have no legal knowledge, nor real aptitude for it. I have a feeling that I'm going to get drawn through the wringer on this if I don't have some legal representation.

On the bright side: According to this

While it is true that Florida courts have adhered to the proposition that passage of time excuses a parent from child support obligations, with Florida Statutes § 61.30(17), the Florida Legislature makes clear the court can only exercise its discretion to award retroactive child support for up to 24 months (2 years) prior to the date of a mother’s petition for paternity, child support, or both—abrogating the common law right that a child was entitled to support retroactive to the date of birth! Therefore, the maximum amount of back pay that a father will be required to pay in child support, assuming paternity is established, is a 24-month value of child support. Furthermore, retroactive child support, in every case, is computed pursuant to the traditional child support guidelines as applied to the parents’ actual incomes during the retroactive period. Additionally, the court should consider an installment payment plan for the payment of retroactive support.

I'm not liable for the last 10 years, but at most 24 months prior to her filing papers.

[stevetcg]

At the moment, you do not have many options, nor do you need them. You basically take the DNA test and then assess the situation after you have the results back.

You really have little idea of the motivation going on here. It might be a simple matter of her applying for food stamps or welfare. But like you said - 98% likely you are just worrying over nothing. Don't stress it until you have something to stress.

Another possibility - she is trying to establish paternity as part of a step parent adoption and she is going to immediately ask you to sign your rights over to her husband to clear the way for the adoption.

[45notdaddy]

I tried giving you more rep points, but the system says I have to "spread them around".

At the moment, you do not have many options, nor do you need them. You basically take the DNA test and then assess the situation after you have the results back.

I keep telling myself that, but I'm still wound up.

You really have little idea of the motivation going on here. It might be a simple matter of her applying for food stamps or welfare.

This seems likely as it's coming from the state and not a private attorney

But like you said - 98% likely you are just worrying over nothing. Don't stress it until you have something to stress.

Unfortunately it's my nature to analyze a problem to determine the worst possible scenario and try frantically to prepare for or avoid it. I haven't eaten or slept normally since being served. I've been on edge the whole time.

Another possibility - she is trying to establish paternity as part of a step parent adoption and she is going to immediately ask you to sign your rights over to her husband to clear the way for the adoption.

Given the source of the paperwork, I don't find this to be likely. If, on the way off chance that it is the reason, would that allow the support to be negotiated / eliminated as part of a settlement?
If this is my son as alleged, I'm not sure that bringing in "Dad" after ten years is fair to either of us.
Ten years ago I would have jumped at the possibility of caring for a child - mine or not, as I thought I loved the mother. I would have done my damnedest to provide a stable family relationship because that's the kind of guy I like to think of myself as, but to be denied knowledge or contact for this long and only to find out because the mother wants money isn't the kind of "Hi, how ya doing?" I'm looking for, much less would want to be foisted upon the child.

I have mixed emotions on this topic, largely do to with the conduct of the mother and her family when I was still in the picture. It was made abundantly clear that I was unwanted.

[stevetcg]

If they are trying to clear the way for an adoption, your support, past present and future would be absolved.

Another few possibilities - the mother is deceased and they are trying to establish a line of succession for custody. OR... she effed up and is going to prison and instead of putting the child in foster care, they want to see if the biological father wants custody.

It could be anything. I would imagine that there is a number of the requesting counsel on the papers that you got. I would call them and try to find out the deal.

As you are the less likely of the biological fathers, its possible that they are trying to establish the other by process of elimination because you are more accessible.

But try to fight your urge to panic and wait until you know what the whole picture is.

As for back support - that is at the discretion of the court and considering you had no idea that it was even a possibility, they tend to look at things as if you just found out and it's a "this point forward" thing. But its up to the judge.

[45notdaddy]

If they are trying to clear the way for an adoption, your support, past present and future would be absolved.

Well that's something.

Another few possibilities - the mother is deceased and they are trying to establish a line of succession for custody. OR... she effed up and is going to prison and instead of putting the child in foster care, they want to see if the biological father wants custody.

Neither would surprise me, but considering I've never seen or known the child, nor presently have any resources I don't think that's a good idea.

It could be anything. I would imagine that there is a number of the requesting counsel on the papers that you got. I would call them and try to find out the deal.

Sadly, I didn't even think of doing that. It was pretty much "What the ****? Is she kidding? Ten years later?" Then I saw the bit about a phone call not protecting my rights and that's when I started looking for legal help.

As you are the less likely of the biological fathers, its possible that they are trying to establish the other by process of elimination because you are more accessible.

Actually the other guy that was listed has been eliminated by DNA. The thing that gets me is that when I went with her to a pre-natal clinic the math didn't add up for me to be the father as she was 6-8 weeks along and we'd been together maybe a month. It's hard to be certain in the face of legal papers, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was a Mr. X out there.

But try to fight your urge to panic and wait til you know what the whole picture is.

Man, I'm trying. This conversation is helping, as is my girlfriend's support, but it's a frightening prospect for me.

As for back support - that is at the discretion of the court and considering you had no idea that it was even a possibility, they tend to look at things as if you just found out and it's a "this point forward" thing. But its up to the judge.

Yeah, but the 2 year max is better than what the paperwork I got stated. My paperwork states from D.O.B. so even that is something to hold on to.

[45notdaddy]

Update: I've got my court date. Apparently I'm going to get my "Final Hearing on Petition to Determine Paternity and Support". This hearing will result in a "Final Judgment unless the court decides otherwise" or so it says on the paperwork. The paperwork also states that a lab technician will be available for genetic testing.

To me, having a "lab technician" at the court seems to game the system.

I'm really scared that this is going to ruin me. I'm extremely bitter about the fact that this is coming up ten years later - particularly since I was easily able to be contacted back when the child was born. I just can't see how coming after someone following ten years of no contact in a money grab is "just".

[stevetcg]

Update: I've got my court date. Apparently I'm going to get my "Final Hearing on Petition to Determine Paternity and Support". This hearing will result in a "Final Judgment unless the court decides otherwise" or so it says on the paperwork. The paperwork also states that a lab technician will be available for genetic testing.

To me, having a "lab technician" at the court seems to game the system.

I'm really scared that this is going to ruin me. I'm extremely bitter about the fact that this is coming up ten years later - particularly since I was easily able to be contacted back when the child was born. I just can't see how coming after someone following ten years of no contact in a money grab is "just".

"just" or not... it is what it is.

Get your mind set on what you want out of the whole thing. Its not just about money... there IS a kid involved. Do you want to be a part of his life? Know that going in.

[45notdaddy]

I'm reading some really messed up stuff about the hearing officer who's going to handle my case and I'm seeing articles on how nearly 30% of the DNA cases are false positives. I just don't know what the heck to do here. I'm genuinely scared and I'm not finding much hope in this.

[45notdaddy]

Another Update:

I did some internet digging and found some information on a social networking site. Turns out that she's "engaged" and the new guy's calling all (number removed) of her kids "his". This is not the same guy as the disproven father (who's last name my alleged son carries). Hopefully he want's to actually adopt them and end this nightmare for everyone involved - but I'm not holding my breath.

I think what I'm most afraid of is not that this could be my kid, but that I don't have the means to support him if it is. Florida's at a nearly 10% unemployment rate and while I'm a fairly intelligent guy - I just don't have the education or the ability to afford one.

I know I'm just driving myself nuts, I've just got so many emotions going on all at once.

• I feel guilty because the kid could be mine
• I feel angry at being "attacked" (for lack of a better term) ten years later
• I feel robbed of what could potentially be ten years of this kid's life. Not to mention the next eight of mine. (I don't think it's fair to disrupt his life and relationship with the new guy)
• I feel betrayed by the mother as well as the system - I was easy to find ten years ago as I was still in the probation system.
• I'm confused by the facts that she's engaged, probably divorced from mystery dad #1, and still applying for welfare, when she's living with family or guy #2.

I'm mainly venting at this point, but if anyone has some insight. Please.