[warmdusk]

Dating this guy for 7 and a half weeks. Met on a dating site, we talked in depth for a month every day online before meeting. I see him 1-2 times a week, he lives 20 minutes away. We usually have a sleep over once a week too. We are not yet exclusive(it hasn't come up--I'm reluctant to bring it up). When he's with me, he goes all out. Surprises me with my favorite things, takes me out, pays for things, opens car doors, cooks me dinner and brings wine, gets me little gifts, is completely affectionate and interested--holds my hand at the movie theater, all cuddled up with me on the sofa during movies or when we sleep, kisses me goodbye if he leaves my house for work after sleeping over and I'm still in bed. The perfect man. But then oftentimes he'll sort of disappear or back off for several days at a time. I won't hear from him, he won't log on, he doesn't text/respond to texts... so I start wondering what's up. But then, he'll be back, just as "perfect" as always and ever so eager to see me maybe 2-3 days later. This is odd to me because before we met in person, we talked over AIM every single day, without missing a day. I guess I still have it in my head that that's "normal" for us and I still am a little curious when he doesn't come online for a few days.

He oftentimes talks about things we need to do in the future. He's told me, very straightforward, that I'm probably the coolest girl he knows. That he feels like he can be himself around me and that he can relate a lot better with me than other girls. He said he wishes he'd met me sooner. He also mentions that he probably behaves a little more "goofy" and himself around me because he feels comfortable with me and he's probably more "normal" with other people who he's less comfortable with--pretty much, he feels like I won't judge him if he says or does something silly. Makes jokes about how I should move into the massive-multi-person-party house he lives in(he's said this in joking at least 7-8 times since I've known him), but obviously this is silly because I've only known him two months and I own my own house. I've met all of his roommates and friends.

Some times he says things that I find odd. For instance, he *knows* I'm single. He knows this, there's no way he could not know this. I met him on a dating site--all of my online accounts-myspace, Facebook, etc, all say single and I've never mentioned another guy to him; but he'll make some quick remark in passing that "my boyfriend" wouldn't like something--like a mark he's left on me from kissing or something he's left in my house--like a toothbrush. He always laughs when he says it, but I find it very odd and I always brush it off or dismiss it. I don't know if maybe I'm being "tested" or what.

Any way, so he goes back and forth from being gone for days or aloof--speaking to me briefly daily, to being completely attentive. What is up with this?

[liz28]

Maybe you should casually bring it up to him since the two of you aren't exclusive. I can't honeastly say what is going on with him because I don't know him however I must say since the two of you aren't exclusive he is free to date other people just like you are.

Dating is all about getting to know one another to see if something can become of it. If something can become of it then you take it to that next level. Regardless, communication is the key and hot and cold behavior could be for a number of reasons that only he knows.

[talaniman]

Whatever he is doing he is doing what he wants, and so should you be. How old are you, and are your sleep overs intimate?

I think you may be letting physical attractions, make you too attached, too soon, and your expectations with this stranger who treats you so well, may have you wanting more.

Understandable, but don't confuse those intense feelings you have for him, with what he feels for you, as he clearly enjoys his own time also.

Your falling too fast, for a suave, nice, stranger, who knows how to treat a female.

You need to know a lot more about him, in my opinion.