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Ultra Member
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Mar 13, 2009, 03:59 PM
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I'm a bit confused
Okay, so I've seen this guy since the christmas holidays, and we've had a good time so far. About two weeks ago we had a little talk initiated by me because he seemed to be a little panicked, because he thought that I was already at a point where I'm in love and so on.
The thing is, and I told him this, is that I don't fall in love easily and I don't grow attached to people too easily and I'm not at a point where I'm in love with him... I'm charmed; sure, I like him he's fun, funny, sweet and has many great qualities,
But I've been burnt in the past and want to walk into this with my head first and let my heart follow later. I.e. I need to know him a lot better before I can even get to a point where I can fall in love, And he's on the same page and all.
The conversation turned a little harsh though on both sides... I I admit that I might have said something's I kind of regret, and I can't for the life of me remember who brought it to that stage first... but I think it was me, so now I'm getting a little paranoid about the whole thing.
This guy is a friend of my brother and my mom has wanted to meet him for a while, so during the same weekend he met both my dad and my mom, my family don't take stuff like this so seriously; 1. he is a friend of my bro, 2. he's a friend of me 3. my parents and I have a very open communication about stuff and there are fully aware that even though we've been seeing each other for almost 3 months its not serious, we have a sexual relationship (he calls us lovers, I say friends with benefits) and they're cool with the whole thing.
When we had the talk he said that seeing as we weren't serious and seeing as we are both unsure about where this thing will go (whether it'll turn into something serious or not) that he didn't see any reason to introduce me to his family (mom, brother etc.) the way he said it it sounded as if I would never get to a point where I would ever meet them.
Yesterday however went to look at my brother new apartment and my parents and grandma were there and he wasn't fully aware of that and was caught a little of guard.
After wards we were on our way back to his house and out of the blue he said that he had to go to his moms house to get something. When we got there he asked me if I wanted to go in with him and I kind of felt I couldn't say no so I did (wonderful lady, she said she had heard a lot about me and that she had wonder who I was, since I grew up in the same area as this guy... he has also told his brother and grandma about me)
The thing that confuses me is; why did he do this when he said he didn't want me to ever meet them... B/C to day I met his brother as well... In one way I wonder if its retaliation for the incident at my brothers place, but in another I feel he kind of saw an opportunity to sneak these two visits in there and make it all casual. But it caught me of guard and now I'm confused and panicked,
Also this is the first time I'm actually living in the now, I'm not really worried about where this is going, I'm just having a good time and relaxing with the whole thing...
Any thoughts? Maybe I shouldn't read too much into this? For me the whole introducing people to my family is no big deal, but it seems to be to him and well... I'm just stricken by panic
(ps: sorry the post is so long... ).
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Family & People Expert
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Mar 14, 2009, 07:09 AM
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No problem with the long message. After reading it, your situation sounds a bit simpler than you make it out to be.
My first impression is that he wasn't as serious about your relationship... but lately, it seems like he's taking it more seriously, thus introducing you to his family. Obviously I don't know him personally, but most guys wouldn't introduce their gfs to their family unless it is getting serious. As for catching you off guard. Sometimes guys have an easier time doing things spontaneously rather than planning it all out. Just a thought, but you should ask him.
Anyway, since it has only been 3 months, I think you are taking the right approach. Take your time with him and get to know him better. Enjoy every day that you spend with him. You need to answer too many serious questions until at least 6 months - 1 year of stableness.
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Ultra Member
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Mar 15, 2009, 05:42 AM
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Thank you so much for your answer, and I think your right LOL when I wrote this the other day I was just a little panicked and I did make it out to be a lot more complicated then what it is. ;)
I did ask him about it and he said it just happened so. He needed to get something and I happened to be with him at the time. So I think you're right about him wanting to do it spontaneously.
Thank you for your answer, I'm going to lower my shoulders and do as advised ;)
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Family & People Expert
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Mar 15, 2009, 06:27 AM
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No problem. Let us know if you need anymore help! Good luck and take care!
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Ultra Member
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Mar 15, 2009, 06:57 AM
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I'll do that! Thank you ;)
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