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sammy1940 · Mar 12, 2009, 12:07 AM

I am new to this forum and this is my first post. I am a very depressed male who would like some help on developing friendships and even finding a girlfriend. It is one of the greatest problems I have had in my life. Certain people in my family give me a hard time about it. Thanks

R-J-S-InLove · Mar 12, 2009, 12:20 AM

Hi sammy...
I am really sorry to hear this
I am also new to this forum dear

Don't be depressed I'l help you out... just tell me your problem in detail

Luscious Leo · Mar 12, 2009, 01:14 AM

Hey Sammy. I hope you're having a swell night. (Yes, I am truly fond of the word "swell")
Many people have the same problem that you do. Most people can become a little shy or nervous in social situations. When I want to talk to someone, I usually smile and allow them to take the hint. This usually works, but it depends on the person and the situation. When I introduce myself to anyone I go in with this mindset: "If I look like an idiot, there's a chance that I'll never see them again". With that in mind, I take my chance.
What's the worst that can happen? It's a huge world out there. If someone I meets thinks I'm an idiot, it's cool because the world is so big, unless we keep in touch, I'll probably never see their face again.

starbuck8 · Mar 12, 2009, 01:36 AM

Hi Sammy!

Everyone at some point in their life has this problem. I'm concerned about why you feel so depressed. May I ask your age sweetheart? How long have you felt depressed? This could be a factor in the reasons you aren't meeting too many friends. It would be much appreciated if you could give us a little bit more info and some background, that you feel comfortable giving.

Until then, there is a thread from another poster, that has just recently asked the same type of question. There are suggestions there that would also apply to you. Take a few minutes to read through them, and then we can continue to talk here on your thread. :)

Here is the link to the other thread.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ds-325439.html

talaniman · Mar 12, 2009, 05:23 AM

Hobbies, or activities you enjoy, will put you in touch with people who share your interests, and it helps to be interested in people enough to speak to them, and get to know them.

Romefalls19 · Mar 12, 2009, 05:48 AM

Joining activities and sports at school or around town are perfect ways to make friends and expand your social crowd. Make a goal for yourself to talk to someone new every other day and then step up to 2 people a day and so on

kctiger · Mar 12, 2009, 05:50 AM

What things do you like Sammy? Do you like football? The NFL in particular? Let's chat my man!

MiSSsy111222 · Mar 12, 2009, 06:41 AM

Have you tried to get some help for your depression? There are many activity options out there! Doing something you enjoy will help you a lot. It could increse yourself esteem and confidence, helps you to meet new people and lift your spirit up.

I wish · Mar 12, 2009, 01:13 PM

You are not alone, there are people who are too shy to take the initiative. You could overcome that fear... but you could also put yourself in a situation where people can approach you, so that you won't have to be the one breaking the ice.

For example, join some activities/volunteer/sports that you enjoy. That way, you are putting yourself in a situation where people can approach you and you will have something in common to talk about right away.

sammy1940 · Mar 15, 2009, 10:47 PM

R-J-S-InLove, I have had depression,social anxiety and OCD on and off for 15 years. I recently turned 31 and I am currently seeking profession counseling to mitigate my problems. Sone of my major conundrums of my life is the fact I have never had a girlfriend nor many friends since Junior High. Right now I do not have any friends at all. My formal therapist 302'd me in December due to suicidal thoughts. I have not been back to work since that day. My employer placed me under a special medical leave until my current therapist clears me to return to work. Myself esteem is non-existant, to say nothing about my confidence. I am constantly afraid to meet and talk to people. It may have something to do with my diffident personality, or the fact I am afraid people will not like me.

Kctiger, I am a huge sports fan. I live in the Pittsburgh area,so I am obviously an ardent Steeler fan The NFL season is still many months away, but the draft is coming up soon. Right now I am following Pitt basketball which just got a number one seed in the tourney for the first time ever. (I went to school there for a couple of years) I also enjoy playing basketball and other sports since I am athletic.

I really look forward to your comments and suggestions. Thanks

Clough · Mar 15, 2009, 11:22 PM

Hi, sammy1940!

I like to do certain activities with people on this site in order to help them to feel better about themselves. Perhaps you might like to try one of the activities with me?

Please let me know.

Thanks!

kctiger · Mar 16, 2009, 05:59 AM

Originally Posted by sammy1940

R-J-S-InLove, I have had depression,social anxiety and OCD on and off for 15 years. I recently turned 31 and I am currently seeking profession counseling to mitigate my problems. Sone of my major conundrums of my life is the fact I have never had a girlfriend nor many friends since Junior High. Right now I do not have any friends at all. My formal therapist 302'd me in December due to suicidal thoughts. I have not been back to work since that day. My employer placed me under a special medical leave until my current therapist clears me to return to work. My self esteem is non-existant, to say nothing about my confidence. I am constantly afraid to meet and talk to people. It may have something to do with my diffident personality, or the fact I am afraid people will not like me.

Kctiger, I am a huge sports fan. I live in the Pittsburgh area,so I am obviously an ardent Steeler fan The NFL season is still many months away, but the draft is coming up soon. Right now I am following Pitt basketball which just got a number one seed in the tourney for the first time ever. (I went to school there for a couple of years) I also enjoy playing basketball and other sports since I am athletic.
I really look forward to your comments and suggestions. Thanks

Nice! I am a freak about the NFL, especially the draft (I break out the draft boards and evaluations of players etc.). Looks like you and I would get along. See, you have a lot of common in with a ton of people. The NFL alone makes you compatible with a ton of people.

sammy1940 · Apr 8, 2009, 12:55 AM

Clough, I would like to try your activities. Let me know. Thanks

Clough · Apr 8, 2009, 01:00 AM

Sure! One of the things that I like to help people with is to enable them to write songs and have them set to music.

By the way, I was hospitalized for several days last week because I had a major panic attack. We all thought that I was having a heart attack! I couldn't walk and was having chest pains!

Thanks!

starbuck8 · Apr 8, 2009, 01:00 AM

Originally Posted by sammy1940

Clough, I would like to try your activities. Let me know. Thanks

Give it a try! Clough is great at what he does! ;)

Clough · Apr 8, 2009, 01:09 AM

Thanks, Starby! I couldn't spread the "love" so soon after giving it to you so soon already!

sammy1940 · Apr 17, 2009, 12:04 AM

I would like to give it a try,Clough. I have to admit that I never wrote a song before in my life.

starbuck8 · Apr 17, 2009, 12:17 AM

Clough will help you with that. It will probably be a lot of fun. He's often on late at night, so he will likely be stopping around to help you out soon. I would love to hear your song when you're done! :)