[moe6142]

Reviosn for my essay?
I am supposed to wright an essay about why my city should not build a new arena my essay is below
I need some one to read and highlight some correction:

Should Medicine Hat build a new arena? Many cities and towns are forgetting the importance of spending money wisely. The mayor and his alderman’s are undecided on whether Medicine Hat needs to build a new arena. Some people believe building a new arena will make money. Others believe that amount of money can be best used for other things. Clearly building a new arena would be like flushing down 96.59 million dollars, the money could be used to build or repair infrastructure, provide better social programs to the people and eradicate homelessness.

The arena should not be built because of the expenses that will be used. Firstly, the City of Medicine Hat has estimated that they will need 96.69 million dollars for the arena to be built. The new arena is supposed to have a capacity of at least 6,500 seats and a spectator capacity of 7,100 people for hockey based on an overall square footage of 175, 000.Furthuremore building a new arena will be expensive, as well has it will be a waste of resources. Money collected from taxes and the upcoming federal budget that will be distributed which Medicine Hat is hoping to get thirty five million dollars from. Both these revenues need to be used wisely. Lastly, the expense going to be used for the arena will impact the people of Medicine Hat several ways. Using the money just for the arena will reduce the quality of infrastructure like roads and community centers. By reducing the quality it also reduces the potential it has to provide. Building this arena also means a little increase in taxes which will eventually add up. This concludes that the building expense could be used for more important things, it would impact the people of Medicine Hat negatively and would be a waste just for an arena.

The budget that is going to be used for the arena, can be used for other thing's. Firstly, the money could be used to help people that are or at risk of being homeless. As of 2007, it isestimated that 1,617 indivulas and families are at risk of homelessness in Medicine Hat. With some money , taxex will be able to be reduced to make things more afordable for everyone and build new homeless shelters. Secondly, in 2007 and 2008 the salvation army has supported 1,938 individuals with clothes,food and shelter. Unfortunailty the food bank can provide to only a limited amount of people, leaving 3% of 1,938 people without all the basic nessaites they need to live on. By suspending the building of a new arena, we can use that money to make homelessness in Medicine Hat exticnt. This summarizes that Medicine Hat should schedule more important things ahead raher than a new arena.

The city of Medicne Hat should resolve more important problems before building a new arena. For example, the landfill is overflowing, beacsue it is exceded its capicity and now some garbage are left outside of the landfill.The city council could provide some money to extend the landfill

[Clough]

Hi, moe6142!

Below, are some simple revisions and corrections for your essay. The revisions and corrections are marked in red and bold.

It's not perfect, but some revisions and corrections to do were obvious.

Thanks!

Revision for my essay?

I am supposed to write an essay about why my city should not build a new arena. My essay is below

I need some one to read and highlight some correction:

Should Medicine Hat build a new arena?

Many cities and towns are forgetting the importance of spending money wisely. The mayor and his aldermen are undecided on whether Medicine Hat needs to build a new arena. Some people believe building a new arena will make money. Others believe that amount of money can be best used for other purposes. Clearly building a new arena would be like flushing down 96.59 million dollars. The money could be used to build or repair infrastructure, provide better social programs to the people and eradicate homelessness.

The arena should not be built because of the expenses that will be used. Firstly, the City of Medicine Hat has estimated that they will need 96.69 million dollars for the arena to be built. The new arena is supposed to have a capacity of at least 6,500 seats and a spectator capacity of 7,100 people for hockey based on an overall square footage of 175,000.

Furthermore, building a new arena will be expensive, as well has it will be a waste of resources. Medicine hat is hoping to get thirty-five million dollars from money collected from taxes that will be distributed from the federal budget. Both these revenues need to be used wisely.

Lastly, the expense going to be used for the arena will impact the people of Medicine Hat in several ways. Using the money just for the arena will reduce the quality of infrastructure for things like roads and community centers. By reducing the quality, it also reduces the potential it has to provide. [For what?] Building this arena also means a little increase in taxes which will eventually add up. This means that the building expense could be used for more important things and it would impact the people of Medicine Hat negatively and thus would be a waste just for an arena.

The budget that is going to be used for the arena, can be used for other thing's. Firstly, the money could be used to help people that are or at risk of being homeless. As of 2007, it is estimated that 1,617 individuals and families are at risk of homelessness in Medicine Hat. With some money, taxes will be able to be reduced to make things more affordable for everyone and build new homeless shelters.

The city of Medicine Hat should resolve more important problems before building a new arena. For example, the landfill is overflowing, because it is exceeded its capacity and now some garbage is left outside of the landfill. The city council could provide some money to extend the landfill[/quote]

Suggestion - I've switched the order of these two paragraphs.

Secondly, in 2007 and 2008 the salvation army has supported 1,938 individuals with clothes,food and shelter. Unfortunately, the food bank can provide to only a limited amount of people, leaving 3% of 1,938 people without all the basic necessities they need in order to live. By suspending the building of a new arena, we can use that money to make homelessness in Medicine Hat extinct. This summarizes that Medicine Hat should schedule more important things ahead rather than a new arena.

[Clough]

Hi, moe6142!

I'm wondering if what I did was any help to you or not? Would you please let me know?

Thanks!