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aasmita · Feb 25, 2009, 08:29 PM

Hi all,

Iam really really frustrated because of this problem.
Iam 25 and engaged to my boyfriend, he is an amazing person and loves me a lot, we are planning to get married next year.
Recently I met a guy from my work place. He is engaged too and very devoted to his fiancé.
But I have a huge huge crush on him.I cannot stop thinking about him. He is just a good friend of mine but I have these feelings for him. We were working together from last 1 year, but I never felt this way about him before. I just wait for chances and makeup some lame excuses to meet him and talk to him. I miss my bus so that I can travel along with him in the next bus. I feel very bad on one side but on the other hand I am not able to stop these feelings.
Please help me, I don't want to hurt my fiancé , I love him a lot...
Give me some solution to come out of this mess.

Thank you,
Aasmita

artlady · Feb 25, 2009, 08:42 PM

You stay away from temptation.

We are only human and we can't control who we are attracted to.

What we can control is how we respond to our weaknesses.

Stay away from him as much as possible and stop flirting.

Imagine how you would feel if your fiancé was doing this to you.

O_Troubles · Feb 25, 2009, 08:49 PM

Good for you for having a crush, now stop it. What are you going to do cheat, leave the man you were content to spend the rest of your life with, or you could leave him alone get on with your life.

ISneezeFunny · Feb 25, 2009, 09:01 PM

First of all, stop talking to him.

Second of all, stop getting on the second bus. Get on the first bus and go home to your fiancé.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 25, 2009, 09:45 PM

You stop talking to him, stop making excuses, in fact you avoid him all you can.

arnimal7 · Feb 25, 2009, 11:48 PM

I see where you are coming from, you can't help who you find attractive, but you can help what you might do next. First of all you need to put yourself in your fiancés position. Here he is going to work coming home to you and loving you trusting you. I can see it now, and let me tell you the aftermath will not be good. Too many people will get hurt. STAY AWAY from him.

neverme · Feb 26, 2009, 05:04 AM

No you can't control who you are attracted to but you can control yourself.

You are going to ruin 2 lives at least, potentially 4.

Get out now, stop unnecessary contact with him.

This is most likely got to do with the apprehension of your inpending wedding.

Your man is an amazing person? Treat him like that, or stay the hell away from him.

talaniman · Feb 26, 2009, 05:14 AM

Be a mature adult, and not some silly school girl who can't control herself. Remove yourself from crossing the boundaries of good behavior, and leave this guy alone. You will be attracted to many guys in the future so start now coping with your feelings in a dignified positive way. The feelings are normal for humans, how you handle them is what you are responsible for.

Romefalls19 · Feb 26, 2009, 07:19 AM

Remove temptation and start taking the right bus home. Once you do this, you'll be amazed at how you feel.

ZoeMarie · Feb 26, 2009, 08:28 AM

No good can come of this. Everyone else is right. Take a step back from this situation and re-evaluate. You love your fiancé? Is he good to you? Then be good to him.

zeeniee · Feb 26, 2009, 02:16 PM

I agree with everyone except heading gutter...
take this crush as normal- as we are human beings and will in our life times find others attractive when we are with someone- in a way that is healthy... but you need to be real and realise a crush vs. a real relationship with your finace... I am sure your relationshiop with your man runs much much deeper in many levels and so why BLOW all that for a crush that will most likely to fizz out with time.

You need to really think before you act- or you will destroy everything you have built with your man and potentially break n= 4 peoples lives- a crush is hardly worth the pain - if you ask me...

Start with distancing yourself with this guy at work- and start putting your efforts with your man... before you loose him..

O_Troubles · Feb 26, 2009, 02:20 PM

Have you ever had that feeling where you don tlike a guy but then you think he may like you and you think about it and it builds, and you start getting feelings for this person? And lets say you end up going out with that person and your disappointed because you imagined more? Maybe this situation is like that? I think u in your relationship and him in his is fine don't mess up a good thing you only live once and you want to make the right choices if you tried to get with a engaged man and it failed and you lost a man you were ready to be with the rest of your life, that would suck!

aasmita · Feb 28, 2009, 10:15 AM

Thank you so much friends,
I really needed someone to tell me this clearly. All the while I could see that I am only imagining things and living in an imaginary world. I just wanted someone to show me what is wrong and what is right and I got this from you. Thank you so much.
Now my mind is clear. Iam able to keep distance from this guy and to tell you the truth thankfully I am done with the crush thingy.
Hmm peace atlast :)

fallcrysilk · Nov 11, 2010, 08:39 AM

I would disagree with these people if you had these same feelings for this man last year when you worked with.Because if you do,and they're deep enough then it would be dishonest to get married.
If they're just shallow barely there feelings,then stay with your fiancé.
But only you know,if it's love and deep infatuation or not.