[kadd0007]

Tnank you all so much for al the feedback!!

I must say I have never tasted this kind of pain before in my life! But like you all said just because I told her we would be friends it doesn't mean we have to be...

Its her loss as I have a lot to offerr I just can't wait for time to pass buy as quickly as possible so I could forget, I already planned a trip to london this weekend. I am trying to keep myself busy as much as I can to start healing faster =)

Thank you all again, and I will be posting some more stuff I feel confisent now but I know there are more somber days ahead and I know I am going to need some more advice.. talk to you all soon!!

[Wildcat21]

It's GREAT you did not get upset... I BET you shead some new light on her about you... you STILL must come across as th fun guy - always - you get upset and she remembers the bad guy.

Personally, from experinece. I would have just said. Ok-bye and say you have to go... and maybe say 'have fun'. End the call.

You kind of came across as her 'girlfriend' as she confided in you - and cried on your shoulder. You don't want that.

Next time just end the call and leave her wondering.

Forget the friendship... forget it...

Plus - there's a chance she cheated on you - if so... do you want that? That's an issues you need to sort out. Everyone knows how feel about cheaters.

[kadd0007]

Wildcat I know she cheated on me. Remember how I said that night she went out with her friends and everyihg changed... well that night we were together and she admit it only kissing the guy.

Well I am not stupid I am sure she did a lot more than that since she was piss drunk...

The truth is this girl played me for a fool for 6 month and its all my fault for giving her the chance to do so, so I am mostly to blame but trust me a very hard and painful lesson learned.

I have one more question how many of you would actually ever give her a freindship years down the road knowing what she did>?

[confused25]

You handled the situation very well, so you should have no regrets.

As for your question about having a friendship down the road, sure why not. You said a few years down the road so by then I will have moved on with my life and probably be involved in another relationship. Basically I wouldn't care about what happened in the past because I'm happy with my life. Hey, I might even be thanking her for what she did.

It's no good to hold grudges my friend. They end up consuming you. It's best to just forgive and forget. Would it be a deep involved friendship? Of course not! But a simple friendship a few years from now is absolutely fine with me.

[Wildcat21]

Once a cheater - always a cheater - she probably cheated o nsome gu yto come to guy. Cheaters justify this stuff.

[Skell]

Yep you did a greeat job. Handled it marvellously well.. you should be very proud.
I doubt if I could have done that. At least I could never have before coming to AMHD and understanding hwo to deal with things like that!

You are very healthy and I can see you have a great attitude which will really help you get over this.

Now your challenge is to back up your words. You told her not to contact you so Don't let her. If she calls it will be only to see if she still has you. So don't answer. Don't even answer unknown numbers. If you do and it is her. You have to go. You are busy. OK?

And now you must do everything you can to help you.

It is going to be painful but please feel free to PM me anytime. I know the pain but I know how you can help yourself to get better more quick.

You proved what a MAN you are. So continue to be that man and someone worthy of you will come along one day and you will be thankful this all happened!

[s_cianci]

You handled it quite well. There'll be some pain for a while but don't lose your head over it. You know what you need to do now so get out there and do it. You're right in that it was her loss and she'll probably eventually have her regrets. But that's her problem, not yours. When the time comes don't play rescuer and try to "save" her from her bad decisions and the accompanying consequences. You're truly better off without her in every way so live your life accordingly.

[talaniman]

Your free to carry on with your life, now have fun.

[Wildcat21]

Don't pick up the phone if she calls now!! Don't do it. This gal seems like she will call you. Don't pick up unrecognized numbers - private #s.

She will probably want you as her back up plan. Don't go for that.

[Wildcat21]

Guys one thin gto learn from this - about 85% of the time - it's another guy... the sad part women don't get is these new guys rarely if ever last - they want the newness - the myatery - then the guys always screw it up.

[LUNAGODDESS]

What you are going through is normal... what most of those who care do not want you to dwell on the relationship... but to go and do others things... there are website that you can go on to talk to some about a relationship ( my sister does this all the time) like a dating televised service... only... if you are looking for some to talk to first; then become a associate; then a friends and ;then develop a relationship... do all that is necessary to make yourself OK... after this the best revenge is doing better for yourself... I am not sending you away... we will always be here as long the master let us... to give you the advice you need without too much bullsh**... it is OK...

[kadd0007]

You know Wildcat you are right, the sad truth is most of the times it is anothet guy...

Well I am not a mean person or anything but I really hope it does not work out with them two because when she comes back to me I will make sure to make her feel the rejection and the pain she had caused me!!

I know it sounds mean and vengenful but I am still bitter over the whole thing!

[talaniman]

You know Wildcat you are right, the sad truth is most of the times it is anothet guy...

Well i am not a mean person or anything but i really hope it does not work out with them two because when she comes back to me i will make sure to make her feel the rejection and the pain she had caused me!!!

I know it sounds mean and vengenful but i am still bitter over the whole thing!

That's Exactly how it sounds. Being bitter is normal but give it time and it will fade. You got played, happens to everyone at one time or another. Just a lesson in choosing your partners better and wiser. YOU cannot be played unless you let her play you so while your mad at her remember you had a hand in this also. Forget her and work on getting a life that you want and can enjoy. Time to put this behind you, and let go of all that misery.

[kadd0007]

Definitely easier said than done lol but I am working at it...

You know you are completely right, and you know I realised that not only has she done this towards the end, she has een playing me since the beginning.

I say this because now that I am outside the box everything is so clear all the weird outings the weird calls, the times where she never returns my calls, what do you think she was doing lol.

God when they tell you that love is blind Believe IT... never been so blind before though!!

[Wildcat21]

Well it does suck... but here's the good news - you're stronger for it. You will know going forward what to look for. Not to completely surrender to someone. Be caucious - look for those signs. Don't believe everything they say.

No one deserves a 'player' - players are jackazz whop WERE HURT AT ONE Time - nad vowed never to be hurt again and to hurt everyone in their path - sad.

Look for the tell tail signs... not belin gavailable certain nights - lots od alibis. Not calling you back right away. (now early oo nthis shouldn't matter)

It's a GUT feeling as well.

[kadd0007]

Hey guys you are all aware of my situation by now but I have a little problem which I really need help with??

I am not sure if I had metioned this before but the girl I was seeing we both have mutual friends... Now my best friend's BD is coming up September 3rd and she is friends with his GF so in that order she will be there.

Now should I go or should I not go?? I know if I go its going to be hard and awkward seeing her but I am sure I could deal with it...

If I don't go everyone will know that I am not there because of her and I don't want to her to know that its affecting me that much and I sure as hell DO NOT want to alter my life because of her and plus I don't want to miss out on my bes friend's BD...

What do you guys think? Advice please

[JuLee]

Just go. Doesn't mean you have to talk to her or anything. Maybe just a "hi, how are you" and split the other direction.

[kp2171]

go.

ignore her. Act like she's someone else if you have to. She's the 70 year old man who feeds pigeons at the park. There. Glad I could fix that. =)

just have fun with your best friend.

remember the day is about him, not you or her... so if there is drama from her that's all you need to say or back off till later.

[momincali]

Pay complete and total attention to your best friend that day. Say hello in passing to this girl but that's it. Don't allow yourself to be put in a situation where she can approach you and try to talk. Stay busy but not obnoxiously so. Be fun and happy, happy, happy! Stay close to your buddies. Dance. Smile a lot.

[Wildcat21]

Yes, you must go. Be a man. Act cool. Don't approach her at all. Have a great time! No needy or insecure moves. Think George Clooney/James Bond.

I wouldn't talk with her at all. She doesn't deserve it one bit. Talk to ALL the other women - taken or not!!

Let us know what happens!