[shanghai]

Dear All:
I have question, my boyfriend asked me for the engage ring back at the V-day, I was sad, and did give it back to him. He said that he need money, he would like me to put the ring into the envelope under his door, he want to sale the ring.. I handed it to him (because it is not a cheap ring, I won't never put it under the door!) after I gave it to him, he said that he want to wake me up, I will pay attention on him... He said that he loves me, want to have family, kid... I told him that when the time I gave the ring, it is over. I hope that I didn't make a mistake.

Please advice.

[Justwantfair]

So he wanted the ring back so that he could pawn it, but now he is telling you that it was supposed to be your "wake up" call because the relationship was not giving him enough attention.

Rings are not to be exchanged and returned, I think given the limited information about your situation if he wanted the ring returned he was putting an end to the relationship, rather that doing the proper thing and just have a conversation to discuss the issues.

Doesn't sound to me that marriage is the right option for your relationship.

[Romefalls19]

I didn't really understand the question very well, perhaps you could rewrite it?

What I get out of if, if someone returns their engagedment ring, or asks for it. I am walking out the door, fast

[zeeniee]

W T F?
I am sorry, if he wanted to give you a wake up call- why didn't he just talk like normal people do.

I think it was not nice of him to ask the ring back and to ask for it on V DAY!

If you choose to carry on being with him- I think you both need to work on communications big time!

Personally I would take returning a ring back as it is all over...

[shanghai]

Thanks all. I am not good on date. My boyfriend come over eat almost everyday, and stays at my home, (because his place is small, we live in the same building, he sold his bed). My mother was not comfortable that we live together at beginning, because we are not married. He come eat, and then go to his place to make some phone calls…sometime, he helps buy food, most of the time are not. I don't really mind. He likes drink, sometime gets drank, when he come home at night. I have to get up early to work, it kind bother me. I thought that he may get stressed.. Because he works at home, he needs more attention from me, but I have to take care my mother, and cook for him & mom everyday, have to work. Mom starts to complain (it is ok), in her works “You work very hard, why you have to cook for him everyday…”, he starts to complain, he said that my mother doesn't like him, or in his words “Your mother hit me.. ”. He asked to marry him; I said that I need time. How can I marry him now? My thoughts, I would be wrong: 1. I would like to know him more. 2. Where are we going to live? My place which I own, it is OK with me, but mom (I only have one mother, father passed away long time ago). 3. His place is his office, no bed, not clean as I wanted… 4. He would like to have kid, but he doesn't have insurance at all (which is OK, I have good insurance.) 5. He has no money in the Bank
I have no problem to take care all family, but I asked him “how can you take care the family”, he said that we will have food…I don't want to misjudge a person, we are young, if we work hard, we will make it.
Sometimes, because I am very busy, as a secure woman, I don't like to check on his daily life, I think that he knows that his doing… when I call him at night, no answer, later he said that he was with a client, phone didn't ring, etc. No gifts for any of us at the Christmas, no gift on V-day which is fine with me, he doesn't have money, but it is really hurt when he said that he need the ring back, he want to sale, he need money… (I could buy the ring, give the money to him) after I gave the ring to him, day later, he said not the money; he wanted to wake me up….I am not ugly woman, I am young, and still have a lot turn head 

[Justwantfair]

This relationship doesn't sound healthy.

Do not contact him anymore and I think you will be better off without him in your life.

[zeeniee]

I agree this relationship is going wrong and is unhealthy- what I meant from before is that if I had to return an engagement ring- I would take that as the relationship is totally over. You don't toy with a engagement ring to make a point- that is lousey, stupid and heartless.

Sorry from what your wrote on the post- you don't sound happy with him at all and he does not sound nice. Leave him and run!

[neverme]

This is emotional blackmail... f*#k this s*#! You deserve so much better!

... and on Valentines day.. COME ON!

Walk away NOW

[friend4u178]

Dump this guys sorry A** while you still can. He cares about nothing but himself.

You sound like a nice person and someone you deserve will come along.