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teastalk · Feb 16, 2009, 08:57 AM

I think that guys have it easier finding another girl after a breakup. Especially if they're the dumper? Guys usually "wine, dine and romance" the girl. If an average guy just watched a "chick flick" and imitated the lead character, they're pretty much golden.

What do you guys think? If you've been a dumper... If you've been a dumpee?

What do you girls think? If you've been a dumper... If you've been a dumpee?

kctiger · Feb 16, 2009, 09:00 AM

Dumpee... and NO, I don't find it easier. I believe it is easier for the person who did the dumping, as the dumpee experiences a loss of self confidence for a time being... It is extremely hard to "find" someone else when you have low self esteem.

Male or Female doesn't matter... emotional state and sense of well being has everything to do with "finding" another girl/man.

Justwantfair · Feb 16, 2009, 09:03 AM

I have to agree with kc, the person who will have the easiest time is usually the dumper, as the dumper is the one who has been emotional building a wall probably for some period and has had the most amount of time to deal with the emotions.

teastalk · Feb 16, 2009, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by kctiger

Dumpee...and NO, I don't find it easier. I believe it is easier for the person who did the dumping, as the dumpee experiences a loss of self confidence for a time being...It is extremely hard to "find" someone else when you have low self esteem.

Male or Female doesn't matter...emotional state and sense of well being has everything to do with "finding" another girl/man.

Makes sense that whoever has the most confidence in themselves will do the best. Although do you think that generally between guys and girls of the same level of confidence, that the guy can find a girl more quickly?

What does everyone think?

It seems like the average guy, as long as he can act like the lead character in a "chick flick" is set. All he really needs to do is "wine, dine, and romance the girl" and he's golden.

kctiger · Feb 16, 2009, 11:41 AM

NO! Girls have all the power, PERIOD! If a girl wants to go out, and, pardon my expression ladies, get laid, SHE CAN... anytime. Guys, we don't have that power, no matter how good looking we are.

teastalk · Feb 16, 2009, 11:45 AM

Really... Kctiger, you are so funny!

kctiger · Feb 16, 2009, 11:50 AM

I speak the truth... trust me!

boatbuilder · Feb 16, 2009, 09:24 PM

Depends on how deep in the relationship you are. I've been broken up with my ex for 3 1/2 months and I'm finally getting my confidence back and taking it slow with the girls I meet

zeeniee · Feb 16, 2009, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by kctiger

NO! Girls have all the power, PERIOD! If a girl wants to go out, and, pardon my expression ladies, get laid, SHE CAN...anytime. Guys, we don't have that power, no matter how good looking we are.

Hmmm... I think this can go the other way as well you know...

At the end it is all about how confident you are, and how ready you are after a breakup

I also agree with others- it is normally harder for the one that got dumped- as you loose all your confidence and power for a while. In contrast the dumper has been thinking about the dumping and has already panned out PLAN B.

neverme · Feb 16, 2009, 10:12 PM

I think both sexes can find someone to fill their bed if that's all they want... but then again you may want to chew your arm off in the morning rather than wake the beast that looked like a beauty with beer goggles on, you no? (either, either, I think men and women have both been in this situation) :D

asking · Feb 16, 2009, 10:22 PM

Originally Posted by kctiger

NO! Girls have all the power, PERIOD! If a girl wants to go out, and, pardon my expression ladies, get laid, SHE CAN...anytime. Guys, we don't have that power, no matter how good looking we are.

Women hardly have all the power in this world. But kctiger has a point. Young women looking for a relationship find it easier to find a new partner if they want one. Most of them don't know they have this power though.

In fact, just to throw this out there, in my experience, it's men who are most likely to want to get married or otherwise nail down a relationship quickly. They may or may not want to commit, but they work very hard to get the woman to commit.

But I also agree that the dumper recovers faster than the dumpee all other things being equal.

neverme · Feb 16, 2009, 10:28 PM

I don't know I was the dumper and I'm still eff'd!

asking · Feb 16, 2009, 10:31 PM

neverme, maybe you weren't really the dumper? Some people basically drive you to dump them so they won't have to be the dumper. Then they walk away without guilt and you feel like a train wreck?

MarkwithaK · Feb 16, 2009, 10:32 PM

Originally Posted by teastalk

I think that guys have it easier finding another girl after a breakup. Especially if they're the dumper? Guys usually "wine, dine and romance" the girl. If an average guy just watched a "chick flick" and imitated the lead character, they're pretty much golden.

What do you guys think? If you've been a dumper... If you've been a dumpee?

What do you girls think? If you've been a dumper... If you've been a dumpee?

What world are you living in?

neverme · Feb 16, 2009, 10:33 PM

No, my decision. My dumping, just going through a bad patch, saw them with the new 'friend' on V night. Not so great but sure you'll have that?

Also got the barman's number though so not all bad ;)

teastalk · Feb 17, 2009, 10:04 PM

Originally Posted by asking

Some people basically drive you to dump them so they won't have to be the dumper. Then they walk away without guilt and you feel like a train wreck?

That sucks!

neverme · Feb 17, 2009, 10:19 PM

Ya its true though, it does happen!

Romefalls19 · Feb 18, 2009, 06:48 AM

Dumpee, and my ex was with another guy the same week. I took time to heal and worked on myself. Lack of confidence has never really been an issue for me as I am a "social butterly" and my fiancé calls me, and can pretty much adapt to any situation and strike up conversations with anyone.

I think the person who recovers the most quick, usually the dumper, finds it easier to "replace" the connection they had

DazT · Feb 18, 2009, 07:02 AM

I think it's farrr easier for a girl to find a new fella.. reason being, if the girl is even half pretty, all they have to do is throw them at a fella and that's it.

For us fellas, it is a lot more difficult.. we have to put in all the effort in order to get anywhere with a girl and if you've just been dumped, your confidence isn't going to be very high so this is quite difficult to do and it's hard to motivate yourself.

talaniman · Feb 19, 2009, 12:31 AM

The one who copes with the break up the best moves on faster.