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    jwh1982's Avatar
    jwh1982 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 13, 2009, 12:57 PM
    She says she cant be with me at the moment.
    Hey I have been in a serious relationship for 2 years we have been closest you could ever imagine, been on 5 mint holidays never been so in love, she has said all the things like I'm her soulmate she has never loves anyone like me, I've made her whole life a million times better etc etc before me she had had a lot of with her ex treating her badly and she said she never thought she would be in such a nice place like now so I've changed her whole life for the better! Holidays we have been to amazing places first was greece after knowing each other 3 weeks then cuba, egypt venice london etc all in 2 years. So we have done loads never argued, my maters were all jelous of how well we got on etc! So there is nothing bad about us but few weeks ago she said she feels inside and can't be with me while she feels like this, she is not happy in herself and while she is like this she can't be with me! Nothing wrong with us but while she is in her job in retial which she hates she will never be happy. So she needs to sort herself out etc, she didn't finish college because her fella made her leave before she finished her year, so she is going back to college etc to get herslef into a happy place but she says she feels like this is happening for a reason now and its to make it all sorted so we can move on together what do I do? She is 23 I'm 26! She is amazing in everyway! We only have eyes for each other but not been with her is killing me! We have been living together for last 8 months too, she has moved back home because she knows she needsto do college etc, help please I just want to be wi her, what do I do to make her think about us and miss me etc?? Sorry about spelling etc I was rushing!
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Feb 13, 2009, 01:14 PM

    First, you need to leave her alone and let her sort herself out. If she is not happy with herself, she will not find that inner happiness through you or anyone else. This is something that she has to fix herself. There is nothing you can do to help. The only thing for you to do is nothing, meaning don't bother her. Do what you like to do on your own for now. She may come around... she may not. It is best to assume the worst, a break-up, and start from there.

    However, if you keep bothering her and do not allow her to sort things out on her own, you will push her away.

    Time to live for yourself right now and take things as they come. Reconnect with old friends, family. Pick up a new hobby or anything that will keep you distracted.

    You will get through this. We have all been where you are before.
    UnluckyDucky's Avatar
    UnluckyDucky Posts: 210, Reputation: 110
    Full Member
     
    #3

    Feb 13, 2009, 02:22 PM
    She has already made her decision so whether you like it or not, you have to respect it. In this case there is nothing you can do to change her mind - but plenty you can do that will push her away even further. Give her the space and time she needs. This means No Contact whatsoever.

    Use this time as an opportunity to better yourself and work on stuff in your own life. Go work out and get into better shape. Plenty of things you can do - if you need more ideas don't hesitate to ask us here.

    Don't forget to read the stickies too, they helped me out tons and I'm sure you'll find some comfort in them.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Feb 13, 2009, 03:54 PM

    I know you might miss her and want her back but right now she needs to improve herself and if you love her you should be able to respect her wishes and if the two of you do end up back together it would only make the relationship stronger. Making someone happy starts from within that person so if that person is unhappy with themselve no matter what you do you won't make them happy.

    So let her fight her battle from within and let her go.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Feb 14, 2009, 07:35 AM

    she is not happy in herself and while she is like this she can't be with me! nothing wrong with us but while she is in her job in retail which she hates she will never be happy. so she needs to sort herself out etc
    Let her find herself, and you can best use this time to find yourself also. Sorry for your loss.
    what do I do to make her think about us and miss me etc??
    NOTHING AT ALL! Leave her alone to find herself without your influence.

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