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    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #1

    Feb 12, 2009, 05:18 AM
    Taxes
    Hello:

    The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis.

    This is because 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts!

    HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2009, the penis will now be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:


    10 - 12" - Luxury Tax - $ 300.00

    8 - 10" - Pole Tax - $ 250.00

    5 - 8" - Privilege Tax - $ 150.00

    3 - 5" - Nuisance Tax - $ 30.00

    Males exceeding 12" must file capital gains. Anyone under 3" is eligible for a tax refund.

    ** PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION **

    excon
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Feb 12, 2009, 07:23 AM

    I have absolutely NO comment - for once. In fact, I can barely speak.

    Every now and then Excon is in rare form. This is one of those times.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #3

    Feb 12, 2009, 12:04 PM

    So - who's going to go around and measure all these tax frauds who will claim to have less than a 3" whowho??
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Feb 12, 2009, 12:09 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by twinkiedooter View Post
    So - who's going to go around and measure all these tax frauds who will claim to have less than a 3" whowho????


    I think it's woo-who and anything else I say will get me banned for life.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #5

    Feb 12, 2009, 12:32 PM

    Maybe it's ring ding. Or ding dong. I don't know I don't have one of those thingys. But I hear they're handy to have at a picnic.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #6

    Feb 12, 2009, 12:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by twinkiedooter View Post
    But I hear they're handy to have at a picnic.
    Hello twinkie:

    And, a clam dig too.

    excon
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #7

    Feb 12, 2009, 12:45 PM

    And she says to him, "I want 6" and I want it to hurt."

    And he says, "Well, I only have 3" but I'll do you twice and then I'll punch you in the mouth."
    retsoksirhc's Avatar
    retsoksirhc Posts: 912, Reputation: 71
    Senior Member
     
    #8

    Feb 12, 2009, 01:07 PM

    Is this part of the new stimulus package?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #9

    Feb 12, 2009, 01:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by retsoksirhc View Post
    Is this part of the new stimulus package?


    Absolutely GREAT response! Wow - love it!
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
    Ultra Member
     
    #10

    Feb 12, 2009, 06:18 PM

    Love it Exy :)

    So if I refuse to pay will I get sent to a Penal colony?
    frangipanis's Avatar
    frangipanis Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 75
    Ultra Member
     
    #11

    Feb 12, 2009, 08:28 PM

    That's just brilliant, Exy. Going to pass that one on... LOL!
    KC13's Avatar
    KC13 Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 99
    Ultra Member
     
    #12

    Feb 14, 2009, 10:31 AM
    Great... the last thing I need right now is an audit... :D

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