[ronia]

I will start with small back ground about me.first,when I was a kid my parents tought me all the manners and the principles of life.however,when I've grown up,I found that I can't live with all the principles of life that I've been tought,and the manners which I've been tought can't make me have friends.so at that time I had no friends at all;and when I changed "i treated people good and i respected them,and i stoped sensitive,and i tried to be funny"these things helped me to have few friends and many people liked me and they have called me an angel.however,after few years things had changed.my friends get used to my sense of humor and they found me no more hilarious.so they left me and they asked for me only when they needed something.at the beginning I letted them leave and I made a small attempt to return them,I started doing what they wanted me to do.but I couldn't stand giving up my morals,and be what they wanted me to be.so I letted them go and forever.at that time, I was in love with someone I don't know.I loved him not because of who is he but because I needed to feel love and I wanted to think of someone and take care after him and be treated the same back.nevertheless,that guy didn't love me,he was in love with another girl ,and he kept lying to me that he isn't and that he loves me.I decided to leave him and go on my life.nowaday,I am so lonely and so depressed I feel I don't want to do anything ,I don't even want to finish my study.I tried to travel out side the country and finish my studies abrode ,but alas I had a hard luck.I started making chat as an attempt to have friends.but as you know in chat girls don't like to talk with girls,so I can't have girl friends,and guys don't look at girls as friends but as a body and thy keep asking for talking about sex.so I can't have a friendship with guys nor girls.at the rate,I've met a nice guy who doesn't talk about sex,but he wants us to be more than friends and he is taking me slowly.thus,my problem is I want to make friends whom I can go out with them ,talk with them,and have fun. I want to be what I am,I don't want to change for anybody I like myself and people don't have anything against me except that I am too kind.if I changed and if I became like them ,I would hate myself .and that won't do me any good.with that guy ,I don't want to commite myself to him or to any guy.I like the feeling of freedom and I want to stay like this.I don't believe in love and I don't want to believe in it.however,I need this guy and I am a fraid to lose him ,he is agreat man;so how can I keep him without lying to him and without hurting him?I tried told him before that I don't believe in love and I don't want to commite myself with anybody,and that I want to keep some distance between us,but he didn't get it he is doing all what he can to get close from me.so can anybody tell me what is the things that I should do when I go to a party where I don't have friends ?in other words ,how to be sociable?and what to do with this guy ?and how can I now that he is not just messing with me? please help me... and thanks in advance:)

[artlady]

You can't be anything but what you are and you are right to not change your moral code for anyone.You have to live with your thoughts.You should pat yourself on the back for sticking to your ethics.

When meeting people for the first time,ask questions,people love to talk about themselves.Smile and be friendly and just be yourself.

Re; the guy that won't take no for an answer,you are going to have to be bold in your refusal to him as some people only listen when they are told in no uncertain terms.You have tried being gentle and kind and it is not working.

I would say* I have tried to tell you nicely that I am not interested in you ,I wish you would let it go,you are making me uncomfortable*.

That is short and to the point and hopefully he will respect you and what you are asking.

[ronia]

Thanks for your response I really do appreciate it:)but ,he is not like that.he is really smart.when he wants something he makes me do it without feeling that he is forcing me.and he accepts nos for an answer.but whatever I ask him for even the simple things he keeps saying no ,and I can't understand why he does that?and to be honest what bothers me the most is that he gets me do what he asks me for and I can't get him do anything I want.also that he is not my type:(.we don't see eye to eye,we are completely different,but still we like talking with each other.as I said I don't want to lose him and I can't like him because of his look,and not his personality,and that makes me feel I am mean.about my problem with people that's not because I am not friendly ,its because people are not friendly.sometime I smile to people and I say hi and they don't reply.I hate to be in such situation .what I want to know is how can I get people like me and come to me not I go to them!I hope I am clear now..