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    polish princess's Avatar
    polish princess Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 10, 2009, 07:31 AM
    I love him but I ve thought about cheating on him
    I don't know how much more I can take, I feel very sexually frustrated. Yes part of it is my fault because I haven't told him how I felt but I would think he should know by now after purchasing books and fun sex games. The only thing he said was that... I'm crazy about sex which is true I love everything about it so not having much of it really sucks ANyway I don' t want to cheat, I have been cheated on before, I would never want to hurt anyone like that and thinking about it makes me so sad but I know there is a problem I mean both of his ex's girlfriends cheated on him. I'm feeling very gross and insecure.
    I always wanted to do like a strip show for him but I'm so afraid that he won't be turned on and I’ll end up embarrassing myself?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Feb 10, 2009, 07:35 AM

    Ever hear the old phraze... "Nothing Ventured nothing gained" ?

    If you don't talk to him, and try things how can you assume they won't work. And if you get embarrassed so easily then how strong is your relationship?
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #3

    Feb 10, 2009, 07:38 AM

    You are assuming he knows how you feel because of sex tapes,etc.Some people do not takes hints and need things spelled out for them.Try being as blunt and forthright as possible,while still considering his feelings.

    There is much more to a relationship than the sexual aspect.It is important but it isn't the most important. Communication is vital if you are to have any type of healthy relationship.
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #4

    Feb 10, 2009, 09:29 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by polish princess View Post
    i mean both of his ex's girlfriends cheated on him.
    This is interesting, did he ever tell you why they cheated? If he tells you "I don't know", then he's lying. There's a clear cut reason for everything.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
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    #5

    Feb 10, 2009, 11:19 AM

    I have read several of your posts, and the feeling I get is that you are very young... why don't you date more and get more life experience to help you grow.

    You have to learn that a woman is much more than just her sex life... she needs a balanced life of hobbies, sports, volunteering, intellectual pursuits... and so on in order to be an interesting person whom others enjoy having around for a friend and lover.

    Otherwise, with men she is bam bam thank you ma'am.

    Good Luck, :)
    0rphan's Avatar
    0rphan Posts: 1,282, Reputation: 240
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    #6

    Feb 10, 2009, 02:36 PM

    Hi... you don't say how long you've been together, so if you haven't had a heart to heart with him about this issue, then imagine what he must be thinking seeing you with books and sex games.

    He's probably scared to death that he won't be able to satisfy you.

    Set the seen... sit down and have a chat
    polish princess's Avatar
    polish princess Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Feb 10, 2009, 04:11 PM

    Well to tell you the truth I never asked why they cheated, what I do know is that he just wasn't there for them at time he was young and wanted to have fun and wasn't ready.

    I'm turning 26 soon so no not very young. The reason I never really dated lots is because I have a child and after my first relationship which lasted a long time I wasn't looking for anything because I got hurt and then my boyfriend came along and we just hit it off as friends and I took a chance but it felt right and it still does besides the sex part

    I was very inexperienced with my first boyfriend. My whole concept of sex changed after we broke up, (he was very controlling, and jealous about everything)

    I basically started to have sex and I learned to enjoy it, when I was single sex seemed so much better. I know sex isn't everything and I know that we can make it fun and enjoyable. I just don't understand why its so hard for me to talk to him about this!
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #8

    Feb 10, 2009, 04:16 PM

    If you can't talk to him about how you're feeling then you don't have much of a relationship to hang on to.

    He's your partner, you should be able to tell him everything.

    So, sit down with him tonight, tell him how you feel, let him tell you how he feels and then ask him how you are both going to fix this.

    Either that or keep quiet, suffer through it because you haven't done anything to change it, or leave.

    Those are your only options.
    polish princess's Avatar
    polish princess Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Feb 12, 2009, 07:12 PM

    Oh and we have been together for 2 years anyway I haven't had a chance yet to talk to him I will do it finding the right time is the main thing
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #10

    Feb 13, 2009, 07:06 AM

    If a couple are comfortible with each other... "the right time" can be practically any time.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #11

    Feb 13, 2009, 08:10 AM

    In your other post you stated you was going talk to him so if you finding it so hard to do it than maybe you should find another way. Writing it in a letter might help and giving it him to read in front of you can start the conversation off.

    But why you find it so hard to express yourself to him? As you stated your not young so you should know in order for you to have a healthy llong lasting relationship communication is the main is the main component and not being able to communicate is an issue you need to address. He might be clueless to your feelings so while your in bed with him talk.

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