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CRAZY CHICK · Feb 6, 2009, 06:30 AM

My Husband has just left me we have been togeather for 10 years and have worked really hard to get everything we ever wanted. He told me a week ago he diddent want to be with me but still would be dad to our baby and moved in with his sister her husband and 3 children I'm so confused and hurt as we were so happy about being a family and he has gone and done this. The relationship has been fine he lost his job at christmas but has a new one now mabie his head is in a mess I really don't know he is normaly a very good husband and very loving any ideas. I don't think for one min there is someone elce as he has been with me throughout the pregnancy and not been going out. He done this once before 7 years ago when we got our first flat then came back crying after 4 weeks. Im really not sure what to think my brain is going to explode.

zeeniee · Feb 6, 2009, 06:44 AM

Hey I am very sorry to hear this.

Best thing to do right now is to make sure you have friends and family that are there for you and you get all the help you need for you and the baby. That must be number one on your list.

For the husband situation- leave him be- maybe he needs time out or maybe things have got too much with him losing his job etc? Give him time and during this time - your worry about you and the baby

neverme · Feb 6, 2009, 06:59 AM

Leave him out. Concentrate on your baby and the life you now need to make for both of you.

What's for you won't pass you. If it's supposed to be it will.

If not you and your baby need you to be strong.

Irishgirl · Feb 6, 2009, 07:03 AM

Hey neverme I say what's for you won't pass you by,thought it was an Irish saying! Anyway poor you,I'm so sorry to hear about your situation,what a selfish pig!! At this moment in time he's thinking about nobody else but himself and as hard as it is you should too. Soon your going to have a baby who depends on you for everything,do you want two to look after?

J_9 · Feb 6, 2009, 07:07 AM

Is this your first child?

It is very possible that he is scared that he will not be a good father/husband once the baby is born. Other fears arise in men as well. Will they be a good provider? Can they handle the change that a new life brings?

You see, while you have had 9 months to get used to the baby, feeling it move, going to the doctor, seeing it on ultrasound... he, on the other hand has not had a chance to get used to the idea of such a life changing event. Yeah, I know, it's been 9 months, but men and women see things differently.

In a few days his life will be changed forever. He may be afraid that he cannot live up to the expectations that fatherhood brings.

He's had you to himself for what, 10 years? Now he is going to have to share you. He won't get your undivided attention anymore. He now views you as a mother, no longer a sex symbol. That is hard for some men.

Give him time to get used to this. It is VERY frightening for some men.

Romefalls19 · Feb 6, 2009, 07:26 AM

Think about the baby and do the right things for yourself and the baby

talaniman · Feb 6, 2009, 09:13 AM

Between the new child, losing his job, and starting a new one, he is tripping. Relax, and make sure you have some family and friends to support you as he probably is overwhelmed at this point. Give him some space for a while.