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lamar23 · Jan 28, 2009, 02:40 PM

Its all good advise and I appreciate it. You are right they are not needs but desires but I really ain't into masturbating. Not close to the real thing

Synnen · Jan 28, 2009, 02:47 PM

Nope. But better than nothing, or better than some skank who might be trying to trap you into being a babydaddy or who might give you a disease.

talaniman · Jan 29, 2009, 08:52 PM

Enjoy your life without her in it, with or without masturbating.

lamar23 · Feb 4, 2009, 08:05 AM

Threads merged

My ex left me on christmas and started talking to this older guy. When we had problems and things were going downhill they started talking and she told him everything that she likes and doesn't. She told him what makes her happy and everything that I did wrong. Then he used what he knew to make her feel like a queen and she left me and now is with him. She wanted to get back with me but I was an emotional wreck and so when we talked or spent time she didn't "feel" it for me anymore but she still loved me. I was a mess at that time since this was my first love and heartbreak.

Anyway after 3 weeks I got myself together and did the no contact and work on myself thing. It worked until she got her stuff from my house and all of the feelings came back. I didn't let her know though and played it cool. That was on 01/24 and the next Tuesday she text me that "for some reason she misses me" I did not tell her that I miss her too even though I do like crazy. She now texts me to see how I'm doing and stuff I just send real short replies but nothing asking her b ack or saying I miss u. She got a new phone and didn't give me the number but she keeps the old phone just to communicate with me. I can't do compete no contact because she still owes me some money that I have to get.

Last night she called me while I was asleep so I picked up and realized it was her. She said that he has been acting crazy and she needed someone to talk to. I let her vent real quick and just told her to get advice from someone older or talk to him about it. I wanted to try to get back but did not think that would have been a good idea. I know she still misses and thinks about me but she is with him. I'm trying to move on but would get back with her if she asked me. I just don't want to ask. She thanked me for talking to her and I didn't want to stay on the phone too long.

My question is what should I do. Complete no contact and ignore her? Should I ask her to get back with me? I'm just asking for some advice.

Romefalls19 · Feb 4, 2009, 08:10 AM

Yes, complete no contact and ignore her. Why would you take her back though? She left you for another guy because she didn't think you were good enough for her. Keep that mentality as there will be other girls who will think you are more than good enough for them.

trmpldonagn · Feb 4, 2009, 08:14 AM

You could let her know that seeing her again has gotten those feelings built up again. Also, the continued contact is no good if you're not getting back together because you won't get over her that way. Maybe down the road you could be friends. Maybe but not now. You then might want to ask her or tell her if she is possibly interested in giving it another go. If not, break ties to the extent you need to without losing complete contact till you get your money. I know this can be tough since you'd like to still be there for her right now as a friend but it's hurting you. If on the other hand she says yes, that she would like to give it another go, then good luck but be careful she is done and overwith with this other guy. It may or may not work out the second time around.

artlady · Feb 4, 2009, 08:21 AM

Do you want to get back with her so she can dump you when the next guy in line comes along?

She sounds fickle and wants to have her cake and eat it too.You are a convenience and she is using you.

Sorry to be harsh but as you said you were doing fine and you will continue to be fine if you don't let her manipulate you by playing on your past relationship. And your lingering feelings.

Stay strong!

talaniman · Feb 4, 2009, 08:30 AM

False hope, has you blind to your new Girlfriend status. That's a step above friend zone.

You better learn how to screen your calls a lot better!

lamar23 · Feb 4, 2009, 08:52 AM

[QUOTE=talaniman;1527246]False hope, has you blind to your new Girlfriend status. That's a step above friend zone.

What do you mean by I'm blind to my new girlfriend status

talaniman · Feb 4, 2009, 10:39 AM

"She said that he has been acting crazy and she needed someone to talk to."

Thats what girlfriends are for, to talk about their boyfriends with!!

lamar23 · Feb 4, 2009, 01:26 PM

Yeah that's true and I got off the phone quick. I will make an arrangement to get my money and break all contact. I may have to change my number but I don't want to have to. I already quit contacting her but she still contacts me. Preciate all of the advice. Sometimes we know what we have to do but put doubt in our own minds. Got to move on I'm a good man and I desrve better. Just hard to find a woman that respects a good honest man but they are out there.

talaniman · Feb 4, 2009, 02:00 PM

just hard to find a woman that respects a good honest man but they are out there.

Thats the fun of life, looking for that special one. Give all of them a chance!!!

lamar23 · Feb 4, 2009, 02:28 PM

I want to give it a chance but on the other hand I'm. Thinking about not getting serious anymore to protect my heart. All I see around me is heartbreak from women. But I will definitely move on.