[010606]

My son has been throwing tantrums since he was 18 months old. He throws them at all times of the day, if we tell him no, if he bisbehaves, and when he doesn't get what he wants fast enough. I am at my wits end. I am tired of all the yelling and screaming and don't know what I can do to help him. I read a book called No More Meltdowns because that was designed for older children. Please help. Should I look into getting him a behavorial therapist? He goes to preschool 5 days a week and his teacher says he is great and never gives her any problems so why does he only do this for me and my husband?
Thank You,
Very Confused Parent

[J_9]

He does this for you and your husband because he knows he will get a reaction from you. Ignoring the behavior is the primary way to get him to behave.

[kashbabii]

I have several siblings and I'm still a child so I've realized that most kds his age will throw tandrums for attention because they know that you will have a reaction to which exactly what he wants so try ignoring it but if that don't work then just try staying calm.

[Fr_Chuck]

Because he knows if he does it long enough with you, he will win.
You just leave him go, walk off and ignore him, just don't give in to him if iit does it for a hour,

[harryanne]

Do you set him clear boundaries at home? His pre school will have clear behaviour policies that they stick to, your son most proberly knows that he will not get away with temper tantrums at pre school, therefore only doing it at home.
Try being persistent with him, it will soon sink in to him that no means no, etc, also you could try a reward chart when he is good he gets stickers, this encourages good behaviour, also I find that lots of praise and encouragment when they are good always works, it teaches them you get more attention for being good.

Hope you get some ideas. Good luck.

[Wondergirl]

Change you reactions to his tantrums -- when he acts out, begin to whisper or sing a made-up or real song, announce that you are going to read a book or magazine (or bake cookies or brush the dog or whatever) now and leave the room -- in other words, change the dynamics of what is going on. Above all, stay calm.

My younger brother was born having a tantrum and would hit his forehead against the tile floor (never the carpet, of course). He finally stopped when he didn't get a reaction from us. (His first child was the same way.)

[moralcompass]

He is only acting this way because he gets your attention. Try redirecting him when he acts that way or ignoring the behavior completely. You and your husband have to present a united front. If he knows one of you will crack, then he will play one off the other. Children are quite crafty, even at a young age. Try reinforcing positive behavior with verbal praise and be firm when tantrums occur. Time out for three minutes and add a minute for every minute he screams. Take toys, early bedtime, no cartoons, etc. If he screams the whole time, ignore him.

[J_9]

He is only acting this way because he gets your attention. Try redirecting him when he acts that way or ignoring the behavior completely. You and your husband have to present a united front. If he knows one of you will crack, then he will play one off of the other. Children are quite crafty, even at a young age. Try reinforcing positive behavior with verbal praise and be firm when tantrums occur. Time out for three minutes and add a minute for every minute he screams. Take toys, early bedtime, no cartoons, etc. If he screams the whole time, ignore him.

FYI, this thread is almost 3 years old, so the child would now be 6 and probably not still throwing tantrums. Please check dates prior to responding to threads.