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cassandrita · Jan 30, 2009, 07:58 PM

Hey,

I met this guy online 3 weeks ago... On our first date we had amazing chemistry and things kind of went quick and we ended up sleeping together... From there dates have been back to back for the first week... He has introduced me to a few of his friends on the first week and we were passing lots of time together in divers activities...
We both can't deny that we have amazing chemistry in bed, like we have amazing compatibility when it comes to sex... After a few weeks in my head I was wondering if he only wanted sex or more... and I'm happy that he intiated the discussion about that...
He asked me if I just wanted sex with him or if I was thinking about more...

Well I said that he was an amazing person in general and that perhaps I would see more by getting to know him better... and he responded that he was thinking about things but that he wasn't too sure if he wanted to jump into something serious and said that he though the same of me and that he believed we had amazing chemistry together...

I was wondering if his question was a trap question or is he being honest about it and in his head he is really thinking about things but just not too sure for the moment and needs more time to figure out things...

Thanks in Advance!

roxypox · Feb 1, 2009, 12:39 PM

Well, it might have been a trap question, but of course only he knows the real answer to that.

My gut feeling though is that we sometimes might be scared of being let down and scared to be played as a fool...

But at least you had the conversation and I do think he might have asked you because he wanted to tell you where he stood as well as find out where you were on the matter.

And also if the sentence; I don't want to jump into anything serious seemed important for him to get across, but you still have contact, then I guess you have to find a way to take it from there. Cause after all he might be serious and have been truthful.

Was it a dating site? And have you had contact afterwards?

cassandrita · Feb 1, 2009, 12:42 PM

Originally Posted by roxypox

well, it might have been a trap question, but of course only he knows the real answer to that.

My gut feeling though is that we sometimes might be scared of being let down and scared to be played as a fool....

but at least you had the conversation and i do think he might have asked you because he wanted to tell you where he stood as well as find out where you were on the matter.

And also if the sentence; i don't want to jump into anything serious seemed important for him to get across, but you still have contact, then i guess you have to find a way to take it from there. Cause after all he might be serious and have been truthful.

was it a dating site? and have you had contact afterwards?

WEll yes it was a dating site... and we talk everyday pratically... and see each other often

roxypox · Feb 1, 2009, 01:05 PM

Well that's a pretty good sign ;) then he prob meant what he said, he might be a little scared of getting serious too fast.. seeing as you do have a good chemistry, and things moved a little fast the first couple of weeks.

talaniman · Feb 1, 2009, 02:27 PM

I think he is afraid that since things are going so fast, it may crash and burn.

Chemistry and sex, will only get you so far down the road.

ScottGem · Feb 1, 2009, 02:46 PM

You didn't ask, but I have to comment. You meet a guy online THREE weeks ago and you are already having sexual relations??

Sounds to me like you are doing things backwards. You get to know each other FIRST!!

cassandrita · Feb 1, 2009, 09:46 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

You didn't ask, but I have to comment. You meet a guy online THREE weeks ago and you are already having sexual relations???

Sounds to me like you are doing things backwards. You get to know each other FIRST!!!

Ya I know might sound as if I'm doing things backwards... but I wasn't expecting a relationship... thats not really what I had in mind at all... im just going with the flow no pressure... see what happens... when I first met the person I thought he would just be a good guy to have fun with... but more I spend time with him I see he has lots of good qualities and we have comon interests

ScottGem · Feb 2, 2009, 08:48 AM

Originally Posted by cassandrita

Ya i know might sound as if im doing things backwards....but i wasnt expecting a relationship....thats not really what i had in mind at all.....im just going with the flow no pressure ....see what happens....when i first met the person i thought he would just be a good guy to have fun with ....but more i spend time with him i see he has lots of good qualities and we have comon interests

That seems to indicate that your initial purpose was simply recreational sex. So you agreed to meet someone you had only met on the Internet with the expectation that you would wind up in bed.

That is SO dangerous. You are asking for major trouble! I strongly suggest you re-examine your priorities.

And even if this guy is a good guy. I have to wonder what he is going to think of any long term relationship with a girl who was willing to have sex with a virtual stranger.

chrissymarie · Feb 2, 2009, 11:11 AM

It seems to me you've met an internet player. I know some guys who go online just to meet lonely girls for sex. You may have falling into his trap. There's no going back now that you 2 have already had sex. I'd suggest you let him make all the moves from here on.

His question to me sounds like a trap. I think he just wanted to let you know he is NOT looking for a relationship.

AWess · Feb 2, 2009, 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by cassandrita

Ya i know might sound as if im doing things backwards....but i wasnt expecting a relationship....thats not really what i had in mind at all.....im just going with the flow no pressure ....see what happens....when i first met the person i thought he would just be a good guy to have fun with ....but more i spend time with him i see he has lots of good qualities and we have comon interests

He's definitely been using you. But it seems you got what you wanted. Don't waste your time trying to figure out a player's mind; it's all about animal instincts. I'm sure you won't hear from him again anytime soon, but if you do it's most likely solely for sex and for his ego. I hope you learn something from this experience and don't let yourself be fooled again in the future.

C'mon girls, at least attempt to grow a brain! Where's your self-respect?

cassandrita · Feb 2, 2009, 07:35 PM

Originally Posted by AWess

He's definitely been using you. but it seems you got what you wanted. Don't waste your time trying to figure out a player's mind; it's all about animal instincts. I'm sure you won't hear from him again anytime soon, but if you do it's most likely solely for sex and for his ego. I hope you learn something from this experience and don't let yourself be fooled again in the future.

C'mon girls, at least attempt to grow a brain!! Where's your self-respect??

Well as I said we talk everyday day! About everything and nothing and of course Sex!. I didn't say I wanted a relationship with this guy... Right now I'm just having a really good time!. and in the past I have say that I have met some guys and all I wanted from them was sex and then slowly someone ends up having feelings for the other... it happens when you have been doing it for a while...
But again my question was what was going in his head when he said '' what was I thinking or did I only wanted him for sex''... and I repeat again I'm not looking for a relationship... I just got out of one... so I'm just looking for a good time...

MarkwithaK · Feb 2, 2009, 07:39 PM

If you just want sex from him then you will get Just sex from him. If you want something more from him then you will JUST get sex from him... bottom line.

AWess · Feb 2, 2009, 08:19 PM

Originally Posted by cassandrita

Well as i said we talk everyday day! About everything and nothing and of course Sex!....I didnt say i wanted a relationship with this guy....Right now im just having a really good time!!!......and in the past i have say that i have met some guys and all i wanted from them was sex and then slowly someone ends up having feelings for the other....it happens when u have been doing it for a while....
but again my question was what was going in his head when he said '' what was i thinking or did i only wanted him for sex''....and i repeat again im not looking for a relationship....i just got out of one...so im just looking for a good time....

It's in my nature to be straight-forward; please excuse me if I may sound harsh.

You sound depressed and I hope you know sex is not a long-term relief. Plus, are you using this guy as a rebound? It's unhealthy, reckless and very selfish to use other people in an attempt to get through the problems you avoid to deal with. I understand it's your choice; I just thought it was worth mentioning.

cassandrita · Feb 2, 2009, 08:37 PM

Originally Posted by AWess

It's in my nature to be straight-forward; please excuse me if I may sound harsh.

You sound depressed and I hope you know sex is not a long-term relief. Plus, are you using this guy as a rebound? It's unhealthy, reckless and very selfish to use other people in an attempt to get through the problems you avoid to deal with. I understand it's your choice; I just thought it was worth mentioning.

No I'm not depressed... I made the decision to end the relationship fed up with things... I have never been single... so now I'm just exploring things and having fun... the guy I just met not too long ago I wouldn't say I'm using him as a rebound... but I can't deny that I really like what his body can offer me... I haven't had such great sexual compatibility in a very long time! Its intense

AWess · Feb 2, 2009, 08:47 PM

Originally Posted by cassandrita

No im not depressed....i made the decision to end the relationship fed up with things.....I have never been single...so now im just exploring things and having fun....the guy i just met not too long ago i wouldnt say im using him as a rebound....but i can't deny that i really like what his body can offer me....i havent had such great sexual compatibility in a very long time! its intense

My advice to you: try to be single for a while

cassandrita · Feb 2, 2009, 08:48 PM

Originally Posted by AWess

My advice to you: try to be single for a while

That's good advice I have try so many times but never seems to be... there is always someone in my life either for serious or just for fun!!
I easily meet people !

AWess · Feb 2, 2009, 08:49 PM

Originally Posted by cassandrita

Thats good advice i have try so many times but never seems to be.....there is always someone in my life either for serious or just for fun!!!
I easily meet poeple !

Try until you succeed

cassandrita · Feb 2, 2009, 08:51 PM

I will try... but can't go without sex that's for sure or I go nuts... I have too much of a high sex drive... but I ll try keeping the single status

AWess · Feb 2, 2009, 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by cassandrita

i will try ....but can't go without sex thats for sure or i go nuts...I have to much of a high sex drive....but i ll try keeping the single status

I'm really not sure if it's the high sex drive or is it something else? Whatever it is, it's yours to discover.

MarkwithaK · Feb 2, 2009, 09:06 PM

Originally Posted by cassandrita

i will try ....but can't go without sex thats for sure or i go nuts...I have to much of a high sex drive....but i ll try keeping the single status

This is all well and good now while you are young but as you age and mature you will find that this type of mindset can lead you down a path that you really do not want to be on. I do not mean to sound offensive but if you allow yourself to be treated in such a manner it will eventually be how people think of you... no more, no less.