[lisa45]

My mum has had a lot of horrible stuff done in her life, I know that. I am 15 years old, and she has obviously not gotten over these problems. She is about 58 years old, she has rarely gone out, she has no friends or anything. She constantly reminds me how much she hates her mother (which she hasn't seen in 20years). She constantly tells me how horrible her life is (this is when we have a fight and she is yelling). She tells me how bad my dad is treating her like not helping her with anything.

I have had a lot of problems in my life too, I have low confidence, and I'm not very smart in maths or anything. But, these things that mum is saying to me is not helping me at all. It's making my life a lot worse, and decreasing myself esteem. I can understand she had a horrible life but why does she make mine worse? Can't she do the best she can to make me not learn from her mistakes.

When we get into these huge arguments, I tend to have tantrums. Anyway, When I yell at her I try and tell her I don't care about her problems, why isn't she helping me. This argument went on until she had enough and called me a something get?. and stomped upstairs.

I don't get this? What can I do about this.. This argument happened this morning and I;m not going to school because of it.

p.s. all these problems me and my mum have had together started just about when I was 13 or something .

Please help, but please don't just say she is a depression maniac disorder. I don't think she does, she's completely normal other then that. She does have low self esteem. What can I do to?

[N0help4u]

Your mother is taking her problems out on you and it is a chain reaction that is destroying your life. You need to have a talk with your mother when you are not at each others throats and come to an understanding,
Tell her that you want a better relationship with her than she had with her mother. Tell her that her taking things out on you is not going to fix anything.
Let her know you love her and you need her there for you. You need to get her to somehow realize that she is working both ends against the middle and she is the middle that will end up burning herself.
You, when you grow up and have children will realize (hopefully) how she is her own worse enemy and won't repeat her mistakes with any children you have but she is wrecking her relationships with both ends of the generations. She is the loser in the long run.
Try to be the daughter that any mother would love and work things out when you are on the good side of her. Maybe suggest starting a mother/daughter day out once a month. Make her feel that being a mother can and should be a rewarding experience rather than following in her own mothers footsteps.
It could be that her mother treated her this way so s he doesn't really know any other way. Break the cycle.

[lisa45]

Thank you. I think that is true but it's going to be hard for me to sit her down and talk to her. We never do that. We aren't close at all, also My parents are together. But whenever my mum tries to talk to my dad he tells her to be quiet cause' she talks about nothing and worries all the time. She makes everyone feel as bad as her..

I just want my mum to help me with school, to talk about friends and stuff like that. Like a normal mum does, I don't want her to tell me about her life ALL the time. She's always angry.