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MamaNik · Jan 30, 2009, 07:29 PM

My 2nd child was conceived under crazy circumstances-me and my fiancé already had a son and then he left. During year break-i started another relationship but me and my son's father had one very brief, unprotected sexual affair. I was ashamed and disgusted with myself for cheating and felt HORRIBLE to find out I was pregnant 6 weeks afterwards. I assumed it was his because it was unprotected. I broke up with my boyfriend because I was mortified and his from him and all his attempts to get back. I also avoided my ex. He knew I had a boyfriend and I believe he engaged me more to get at him and prove his manhood. Anyway, my ex finally saw me around 6 months pregnant and was upset to say the least but he said he would take care of his child. I never questioned his paternity and neither did he. We married 5 months after 2nd child born. We had another child and then divorced. 2nd child is now 8 years old and now father is questioning paternity. He waived his right to paternity testing when she was born out of wedlock in NY. He isn't an involved father by any means but my daughter adores him and his family. She has her siblings and his family is so petty that I know IF he isn't the father-they will totally dismiss the 8 years they acknowledged her. Is their a statute of limitations since he has been her "daddy" for 8 years and voluntarily signed Acknowledgement of Paternity Affidavit at the hospital upon discharging. He is also threatening to sue me for back child support-which doesn't amount to much-about $8K but I do not think I have too. Any responses would be great.

N0help4u · Jan 30, 2009, 07:38 PM

He waived his right to paternity testing when she was born so that means that he can not get you to pay anything back and he very likely will have to continue paying for her.
I think he would have an ugly court fight on his hands to get out of this one.

MamaNik · Jan 30, 2009, 08:03 PM

Thanks. He is in Arkansas and we are in NC. He is threatening me with this weekly and he knows am unable to leave work for a court date in Arkansas and never mind affording that trip (airfare, car rental and hotel plus attorney fees) I have 3 kids to put into dude ranch camp this summer! So should I hire an attorney to dispute this or will the judge disregard his motions?

stevetcg · Jan 31, 2009, 05:11 AM

Does the Arkansas court already have jurisdiction here?

He can threaten all he wants. The request for paternity testing is moot. He signed an acknolegment of paternity already. He is the girls father pretty much forever, regardless of biology at this point.

ScottGem · Jan 31, 2009, 06:37 AM

I'm not sure where jurisdiction lies here. Usually motions have to be filed where the children reside. So I would consult with an attorney just to check whether he can file in Arkansas or whether they will say trey don't have jurisdiction.

This also bears on the issue of establishing paternity. Not sure which state laws cover the situation, but I think it will be hard for him to get a change since he has acknowledged paternity for so long.

I'm curious though as to how this relates to your other thread about your daughter moving out of state.

MamaNik · Jan 31, 2009, 08:25 AM

My other post is regarding my ex sister in law. This post is about my daughter. As for jurisdiction, the divorce was served in Arkansas so I guess that means they have jurisdiction. The child in question was born in NY. Do the laws of the state of birth apply or the laws of the state of divorce? So confusing. My ex still lives in Arkansas but me and the children have resided in NC for 4 years. Can I request a motion to change jurisdiction or is it a waste of time and money since he is still residing in the divorce state? Can he subpoena dna from my daughter?

cdad · Jan 31, 2009, 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by MamaNik

My other post is regarding my ex sister in law. this post is about my daughter. As for jurisdiction, the divorce was served in Arkansas so I guess that means they have jurisdiction. the child in question was born in NY. Do the laws of the state of birth apply or the laws of the state of divorce? So confusing. My ex still lives in Arkansas but me and the children have resided in NC for 4 years. Can I request a motion to change jurisdiction or is it a waste of time and money since he is still residing in the divorce state? Can he subpoena dna from my daughter?

Since Ark still has an iterested party then they would hold jurisdiction. That's also who took on the original child custody issues. They would have to relinquish for it to go outside of the state. As far as can he subpoens for DNA that's not really his decision its up to the courts and if he represents a reasonable case ( such as fraud ) stating you had lied about paternity then it could become an issue.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 31, 2009, 01:07 PM

Both NC and AR do not have limitations on paternity testing, so it is possible he could request a new test. So the issue here is, does he file in your state or his state. You could perhaps ask for it to be moved to the state where the child resides

MamaNik · Jan 31, 2009, 01:18 PM

I understand-but can he have one done on her while she is visiting with him without my consent since I am the legal sole custodian?

ScottGem · Jan 31, 2009, 03:51 PM

Only a test ordered by a court will have weight in court. Any other test would be inadmissable.

MamaNik · Jan 31, 2009, 05:26 PM

What if he has court orders and I do not know about them and he has it done without my knowledge.

You see, he constantly files motions and they are heard without me even knowing and I am always mailed the court order after it has been heard without ever having an opportunity to dispute.

I have never received a letter with a date to appear in court when any of his motions were filed which I always found odd since my current husband is still going through a nasty custody battle and whenever his ex wife files a motion, he receives a formal doc from court with a date to appear in court and hear the motion. The ONE time my current husband was unable to show-the judge granted her motion. Is that what is happening in my case? Living in NC and he in AR has been difficult to be in the know of what he is doing. Is he supposed to have a signed copy that I received his motion as proof I was served?

So going back-since he is not sole custodian-even with court orders-can HE take our daughter without my knowledge and get her tested?

He is very calculating and he is planning on picking up the kids for spring break this year (he hasn't seen the kids in almost 2 years because he is "too busy or too broke") I wouldn't put it past him to already have the order in place and get test done during the brea\k which BTW falls on child in question birthday. The fact that he is very adamant about picking them up this holiday break has my gut telling me this is his plan since he NEVER years was adamant about anything g regarding the kids except that he is too bisy or too broke to see them.

ScottGem · Jan 31, 2009, 05:32 PM

First, you NEED an attorney representing you. No court hearing should be held without you being notified. You should have an attorney getting these notices.

You should also be able to search the court records for any actions involving your case.

MamaNik · Jan 31, 2009, 06:00 PM

That's what I thought. DANG! the thought of having to pay for an attorney and have someone else who does not know me or my children dictate what I have to do just disgusts me. Before my ex hooked up with his latest backwards trailer trash GF, we handled everything without the courts and it was great for us all. I never went after him for being 2-5 months late on child support as long as he informed me things were tight and he called them more regularly. I even drove from NC to AR twice so he could see them when he was too broke to make the trip just so my kids could see their daddy-that is what has always been priority to me. Once she came in-she insisted everything go through the court in case I go "after" him and then he would cry broke because he is paying attorney fees! Sound crazy-I think so.

Anyway,it is what it is and stupid is as stupid does.

I am going to call the pulaski county circuit clerk's office first thing and find out what is in the file. Thank you for all your help. This site is an awesome resource. I will keep you posted.