[kctiger]

Think of it like a car engine. It takes a spark plug for the starter to ignite the engne...

Think of it like a lighter. If you go to light a lighter without fluid, no spark happens, and it doesn't light up...

Now, think of a candle like a relationship. Without a working lighter, you can't light the candle...

Get it?

[DanY2J]

Even though she says she we get on really well and she is attracted to me?

[kctiger]

Takes more than that for a long lasting relationship. It isn't as simple as getting along and being attracted to someone... I wish it was, but that is merely the tip of it.

[DanY2J]

She says she wants to feel a 'thunderbolt' when she sees me.

Does that last after a year?

[DanY2J]

*NEW UPDATE*

Since the above happened over Christmas/New Year we have again been getting closer by texts/phone calls and emails. She sent me a long email (she can't seem to talk about her fellings face to face or on the phone) basicially saying she wants to make this work, hopes I get my new job, dreamt we had kids and the things she liked and disliked about me in our relationship.

We met last Sunday, went shopping, had lunch, she even held my hand during the shopping trip which felt amazing - overall we had a really good day.

This weekend we were invited many months ago to go to her neighbours wedding - so this would be the first time I had stayed over at hers for 3 months, was really looking forward to having a night over at hers being close to her - then BOOM - I'll make up the spare bed for you to sleep in. Was I wrong to think we could share a bed? I wasn't after Sex, I just wanted to start getting the closness back into our relationship and just feel her next to me.

We come home after a good night - she asks whether I want to help get some paint testers on Sunday , I say I think I am just going to go home and that I feel her actions are different to her words. I say I thought we were working on us, she says you need to get this new job and show me you have mutured - I said one of thie things I wanted us to improve on was our communication skills as I do all the talking and put myself out there and you just put up a wall.. I said I am not going to be able to give you my friendship, she said I don't want to talk about this right now and I say you never want to talk about it and head to bed.

We have another good day today - nothing is mentioned about the previous nights discussion. I drove home for hers this evening in tears all the way as I knew I had to go NC if I was to heal and move on and probably not see her again.

Is this the right way to go? Any advice guys?

[ja77]

You need to have some self respect for yourself and leave her alone.

All you keep doing is hurting yourself more and deepening the wounds.

I would go no contact and move on myself.