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Sbabii90 · Jan 19, 2009, 01:09 PM

Okay so yesterday I posted a topic about likeing this guy (jay) and trying to figure out why he's always wanting to hang out with me but showing very little signs that he's interested. Well it's because of his ex-gf. He told me a little about her, how they had been together for years but she was "too much drama" for him blah blah. But I don't think he can officially let go. Not that it could matter but he has her as his number one on his myspace and he's written tons of blogs about their relationship in the past, not to mention she's beautiful I can see why he could be stuck on her. But it seems like she's not all that into him anymore she only sees him as a friend (even though she hangs out with his whole family... ugh) but since he's in the marines so he's stationed like 5 minutes away from me so we tend to hang out a lot. Only huge problem is he's leaving in 3 months for japan but he'll be back here after 7 months. Should I tell him how I feel? Or just keep my feelings to myself?

mum2five · Jan 19, 2009, 03:56 PM

Why not keep in contact while he is away and see how you feel when he gets back ?

liz28 · Jan 20, 2009, 07:01 PM

If your thinking about telling him how you feel in hopes of something happening between the two of you, I wouldn't.

You already stated this guy is stuck on his ex, that means he not capable of giving himself fully to someone emotionally. You don't want to be with someone only to seem like your in competition with his ex.

You said "he can't let go of his ex and she doesn't want him", well this is the problem, he won't let go. If he has blogs dedicated to her then this should be a red flag to you.

I've seen many threads with people getting involve with someone that's stuck on their ex and the relationship didn't last long. They only wined up hurting themselves and get caught up in the other person web.

You need a whole man not half of one. You can't control who you like but with this guy there is too many red flags for you not to want anything more than friends with him. Protect your heart because you know about his issues already and you can't solve them, he has too.

Also, don't get upset with the ex. It isn't uncommon for an ex to remain friends with the family. I have done so in the past and still is in the present.