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SBohds · Jan 16, 2009, 07:38 AM

I met her at a coffee shop where I was hanging out and I have many friends there. She broke up with me because I relapsed, other than that things were great-so she says. According to her I was her soul mate, best friend, best lover and all that. But, because I drank (but I did quit) we can't be together. I was really hurt and wanted to make it up to her. Well, at a couple of unsuccessful attempts at being friends, I just said screw it. I still go into the same place to hang out whether she works or not. Now she asks me not to go there when she is working-it makes her uncomfortable. I guess I don't understand why SHE is uncomfortable. I am not doing anything wrong Is this a request I need to respect, or should I just continue to move on and do what I have been? Isn't this her problem? Its only been about 6 weeks since it ended.

talaniman · Jan 16, 2009, 08:07 AM

Now this is a very tough question. Let me ask you, if you have accepted this break up, and can move beyond it?? Or are you hoping to see her again??

SBohds · Jan 16, 2009, 08:49 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Now this is a very tough question. Let me ask you, if you have accepted this break up, and can move beyond it??? Or are you hoping to see her again???

Well, I think it would be easier not to see her. But, I would rather deal with it than change my routine. I do not go there to see her.

SBohds · Jan 18, 2009, 11:24 AM

Perhaps I am just clue less here. When she did break up with me we hung out now and then trying to be friends. We both still had strong feelings for each other Of course I wanted to repair things. Anyway, I just gave up on that. Now, she can't even be civil towards me. She freaks out when she sees me. Is this normal? So when I do see her-I avoid her, no eye contact or nothing.

JudyKayTee · Jan 18, 2009, 11:29 AM

Originally Posted by SBohds

Perhaps I am just clue less here. When she did break up with me we hung out now and then trying to be friends. We both still had strong feelings for each other Of course I wanted to repair things. Anyway, I just gave up on that. Now, she can't even be civil towards me. She freaks out when she sees me. Is this normal? So when i do see her-I avoid her, no eye contact or nothing.

This has been asked and answered on your other thread (these should be combined) but if she broke up with you because you relapsed if it possible she wants no contact with you because of the relapse?

nike 1 · Jan 18, 2009, 12:37 PM

I'd say leave her alone and stop hanging out where she is. She apparently doesn't want you around because she doesn't want to see you and it makes her feel uncomfortable when you are around because you can't respect her on that and she probably doesn't want her memory of you to be that of some clingy guy that can't let go.

SBohds · Jan 18, 2009, 03:27 PM

Originally Posted by nike 1

I'd say leave her alone and stop hanging out where she is. She apparently doesn't want you around because she doesn't want to see you and it makes her feel uncomfortable when you are around because you can't respect her on that and she probably doesn't want her memory of you to be that of some clingy guy that can't let go.

Unless I am doing something unconsciously, I would rather not see her right now. This is a place where I have been going for a number of years. Probably my mistake to have started seeing someone who works there. But many of us don't think of that at at the time. So, when I do see that she is working I do leave. Anyway, at this point I am probably sounding like a lunatic. I only want for things to be normal. Thanks

liz28 · Jan 18, 2009, 03:50 PM

Sometimes you have to do things differently. This girl already told you to respect her space by not coming to her job so why do you continue to do so? There isn't another coffee shop in town?

She don't want to have anything to do with you and you won't let go. She don't want you so get that into your head. Stop going there and STOP sending your friends there. I mean for crying out loud move on.

You might end up getting ban from this place anyway because after all she works there and you keep going there bothering her.

shannonbug · Jan 18, 2009, 05:48 PM

Originally Posted by SBohds

I met her at a coffee shop where I was hanging out and I have many friends there. She broke up with me because I relapsed, other than that things were great-so she says. According to her I was her soul mate, best friend, best lover and all that. But, because I drank (but I did quit) we can't be together. I was really hurt and wanted to make it up to her. Well, at a couple of unsuccessful attempts at being friends, I just said screw it. I still go into the same place to hang out whether she works or not. Now she asks me not to go there when she is working-it makes her uncomfortable. I guess i don't understand why SHE is uncomfortable. I am not doing anything wrong Is this a request I need to respect, or should i just continue to move on and do what I have been? Isn't this her problem? Its only been about 6 weeks since it ended.

Has any of your friends told you if you are an angry drunk? I know you will be mad that I asked but it could be true and maybe the reason she is unconfortable is because of the way you even talked to her and... I would ask her why she felt that way and depending on her answer I would still go to her work or not