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partlytoblame · Jan 8, 2009, 06:21 PM

Hi I just texted the girl who broke my heart, and I am going to meet her tomorrow, I know this is a super bad idea, the thing is she has me convinced that I hurt her too, just before christmas we had a big fight out in a bar and I told her to go away.
Next day christmas eve I drove out to where she lives but I don't know exactly where that is because she lives with her parents and never wanted to bring me there to meet them.
Anyway she didn't answer the phone so I was just driving around the mountains on christmas eve. There was a lot of recriminations back and forth over the fight through text messages, but then I decided to give up as she said she did not want to be with me anymore and that I was an when I drink. Two days later she starts phoning me at 6am drunk, I don't answer, then she calls the next day, more texts etc, eventually I contacted her and said lets work it out, come on out and see me I miss you' half an hour later she texts me would you want to know if I was with someone else, now I ama a jealous dude at the best of times.
I said well were you, and she says its to complicated to explain in a text. I told her that's the deal breaker and that I never want to see her again.
About 4 days pass and I start getting long emails tons of texts apologising and saying it was just a drunken kiss which I don't believe, anyhow she gave up contacting me but just today I weakened because I got nothing to do but think about this and her, now I'm meeting her tomorrow but I got a bad feeling I'm going to be in for all this again. Any advice I'm going nuts here

a la king · Jan 8, 2009, 06:30 PM

How long we you two together for?

partlytoblame · Jan 8, 2009, 06:37 PM

4 months, there was a lot of drama, both guilty to a certain degree, just wanted to get a strangers point of view

talaniman · Jan 10, 2009, 12:51 PM

This is a screwy messed up relationship, who are better off apart as you bring out the very worst in each other. Hate to be harsh, but this doesn't sound like any fun at all, and better to just leave each other alone.

NorthernNiceGuy · Jan 10, 2009, 09:00 PM

Well how did your meeting go?

partlytoblame · Jan 14, 2009, 08:33 AM

Met her since and have broken up again since, we had sex and she went away exclaiming that she loved me and that she missed me so much and how we were going to work things out, next day she starts calling me an for a reason which is a bit explicit to post, lets just say it had something to do with contraception or lack of, anyway lots more texting of anger and now we are meeting again tonight to talk and try and figure it out.
My instinct tells me I am on to a loser and that ill only get a week at best out of this, but I can't help myself. I did a lot of mean stuff too, so I still think maybe there is hope I don't know, but I'm going for it anyhow

Romefalls19 · Jan 14, 2009, 09:19 AM

Sex always complicates things, and then only 4 months and this many problems? You should be in the honeymoon phase of the relationship. You will be happy this is over once you heal.

NorthernNiceGuy · Jan 14, 2009, 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Sex always complicates things, and then only 4 months and this many problems? You should be in the honeymoon phase of the relationship. You will be happy this is over once you heal.

When he actually lets himself get to that point... Seems to me he enjoys getting kicked in the balls. Don't say nobody warmed you when all this goes to hell.

partlytoblame · Jan 14, 2009, 07:10 PM

Just met her tonight with the mutual intention of chatting and sorting things out, turns out she
Her ex boyfriend of 5 or 6 years is just recently single, and I got it out of her that she was with him, over christmas which is when I got dumped, so now he is back on the scene god knows what I would be in for, I walked away and said I needed time to think, she even squeezed out a few tears, but I know that she is playing me like a chump. She is 23 I am 30. I should know better, but I guess I am a sucker for punishment. I am not going back, I'm changing my phone number tomorrow, I'm going cold turkey. I held out for two weeks but I folded, this time I'm shooting for 100 days, then I should have come to my senses and gotten over this rubbish. Thanks for the replies, I don't mind the harsh ones I was blind.

partlytoblame · Jan 14, 2009, 08:46 PM

The only hard part is my brain keeps sliding back to thinking that maybe she's not wholly to blame, maybe she really loves me. When the cold facts are she broke up with me 5 times in four months, but was very convincing in making me believe I was to blame each time, I know after 4 months I should grow up and move on, but being had still feels pretty raw. This site is a great help...

partlytoblame · Jan 21, 2009, 04:09 AM

Nc

Yosomoton213 · Jan 21, 2009, 04:31 AM

Honestly... it's for the best.

The wondering will subside when you start building up your life and living it. When you are busy and involved in your own life, you don't have any time to worry about all the other stuff.

And seriously, on and off for five months? That doesn't even sound like a relationship. You are much better off without her.

liz28 · Jan 21, 2009, 04:33 AM

Good for you! You did what was best for you so you won't be tempted to deal with or nor hear from again.

It's good that your stopping this cycle and not allowing her to toy with you again. You woke up and smell the coffee.

Now, your healing begans and it starts from you letting go and accepting that the relationship is over and you did both. Now you start your path in getting over her but I think your going do fine.

Just whatever you do, don't break down and call her continue to be strong.

kctiger · Jan 21, 2009, 06:24 AM

Been there man. It was a HUGE step, and very hard to do, as it (at least to me) meant it was truly OVER for good. Just don't slip up and give her your new number... like I did.

Carry on... :cool:

Romefalls19 · Jan 21, 2009, 06:55 AM

Huge step in the right direction

HistorianChick · Jan 21, 2009, 07:03 AM

Another one of our ranks, welcome, my friend!

It's going to be hard, it's going to be long, but in the end, you will be so thankful, so happy that you made this decision. We're all here for you!

Irishgirl · Jan 21, 2009, 07:59 AM

There's a saying that it takes half the time you were in a relationship to get over a relationship, just think in less than two months she'll be a distant memory

partlytoblame · Jan 30, 2009, 05:51 AM

Hi I am finding it difficult to let go and stop thinking about the girl I was seeing. We really messed with each others heads a lot and things got down right nasty in the end, but I was crazy about her all the time. She's seven years younger than me however she ran rings around me when it came to our relationship. I think honestly that she does not really have strong feelings for me. We broke up so many times that two weeks ago I changed my number, and I have not contacted her since, its just difficult because before I would wait and then get a message From her or a call from her and it would be like a life line to a drowning man. but now I am in the abyss so to speak and she has no way of contacting me.I guess my biggest problem is hanging on to false hope and living in denial about this situation.
I am really starting to regret changing my number and I am almost tempted to call her or message her but I KNOW that this would be so foolish as it would be putting my face in front of her boot AGAIN, its day 16 of NC, someone please give a poor old chump some advice:( thanks

Romefalls19 · Jan 30, 2009, 06:56 AM

Keep up the NC, you will feel a lot better. It just takes time, it's an emotional detox you are going through.

kctiger · Jan 30, 2009, 07:14 AM

1.Changing your Phone number: $0

2.Letting go of someone that just isn't meant to be with you: $1 million (the going rate for a broken heart)

3. Moving on with your life by going NC: $0

4. Healing, and becoming a better you: PRICELESS

*Sponsored by your local heartbreak center...AMHD.*