[roxypox]

talaniman: very good answer..

[roxypox]

So do you like this other guy as much as you like your boyf? Or is it the whole the grass is greener thing?

If it is.. you really might regret your decition if you go for option no. 2 (okay that sounded horrible!)

[High Max]

I don't know what to tell you, but I can say that your boyfriend is going to be very hurt by this.

Do everyone a favor, if you fall for guys easily quit talking to new ones and allowing your heart to open up to new guys when you are already in a relationship.

[jmw0713]

HighMax is right. I went through this with my ex girlfriend. Let me tell you it hurts and causes unneeded turmoil in the relationship.

If your looking around for another guy when your are in a relationship with someone... just dump them. Get it over with because the guy your with is obviously lacking something that you are looking for in others.

[kctiger]

It always sucks to get dumped for someone else. It is a solid blow to the ego. JMW is right. You need to break up with your current boyfriend so he can start to heal and move on with his life. Right now it just seems like you are wasting his time... you obviously know this relationship isn't what you want, otherwise you wouldn't be tempted to look at other people's yards.

[talaniman]

Date others have fun, but your not ready for a relationship, as your to easily distracted by others, and seem to needy, to be with someone.

Get your act together.

[hellothere1]

Hey, I'm still young but I still take these things seriously.
Basically, my boyfriend of over a year and I are good together, hese always telling me how much he loves me and he always wants to kiss and cuddle. Though sometimes he is very lazy and selfish. But also, the other day I found messages from him to a girl he doesn't even know (he'll never meet her she lives the other side of the world) but they talk ALL the time, like for years. And the messages were like I've been thinking about you! I miss you. And loads of other things and then lots of love, xxxxxxxxxx.

I don't like this at all. OK it isn't a risk because he can never meet her, but if hese saying this to a girl hese never met, what could he be saying to girls he does know and can meet up with? I don't like it atall. Am I overeacting do you think?thanks.

[ja77]

You need to talk to him and confront him with the details you know.

I always find good old fashioned talking always does the trick.

[talaniman]

If its as you say and he has been talking to this girl(S) for YEARS, then you should talk to him.

What is it that deep he gives up his good pen pals? Talk about it.

[Romefalls19]

This sounds like nothing more than pen pals, I wouldn't worry too much. I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say he showed you those messages willingly, so obviously he's not hiding it from you. Explain to him your feelings and see how communication works before you jump too far.

[hellothere1]

Right I was with my boyfriend for over a year but at one point he was giving me no attention whatsoever and I started liking another guy. It sort of calmed down abit but I still had these feelings for the other guy. Me and me boyfriend broke up about two months ago for only a few days and I kissed that guy in thoise days but felt so bad I wanted my boyfriend back. Me and this guy have got even closer now though and I dotn know whay to do, me and my boyfriend broke up again yesterday, when I say broke up I mean I ended things, but I'm sooo weak and I just feel like I want him back, but I also have major feelings for this guy, I hate this and I never wanted to hut anyone . PLEASE HELP quick :(

[starfirefly]

i hate this and i never wanted to hut anyone . PLEASE HELP quick :(

You don't have to worry about hurting anyone, if you don't feel all that good in the relationship its best to end it, it hurts , but that will go away, you need to do what is best for you, don't wait around and hope that he will become more into you

[neverme]

Don't rebound. It doesn't really help with someone you have feelings for. I don't necessarily agree with the rebound guy/girl but if it has to be done (and I know sometimes it does) then you need to go with someone who you don't have, and don't want feelings for.. and someone who knows that!

The others will inevitably let you down because

a) it is so easy to transfer feelings and that's not fair

And

b) you haven't healed from a relationship so you'll be looking for the anti-ex

I know it's scary but try to heal alone for a while. You'll be all the better for it.

[Irishgirl]

Jez loiuse you make life easy for yourself! Walk away from both these boys because you need some perspective. It comfortable over exciting, new over old blah blah blah - the green ain't always greener but something's wrong in your relationship to start with otherwise you wouldn't be looking. Bet you have a gut feeling you haven't told anyone about cause then it'd be real and you'd have to deal with it?

[hellothere1]

Basically last week I ended with my boyfriend of a year and nearly a half.. I love him still and I miss him like crazy, I just felt like I wasn't happy and I wasn't enjoying my time with him. He was so lovely the last few months of our relationship! But a few months before he would always play on games never really communicate with me and it made me drift a bit, I ended up liking someone else. So that sort of stuck with me but since then he's been lovely and amazing. The thing is I started talking to someone I knew from work and we got pretty close, we didn't meet up or anything just spoke at work and online. I found out he really really liked me and had strong feelings and I started liking him but I think I'm confused. Anyway when me and my bioyfriend broke up the other day I went to this guys and we ended up kissing, cuddles and just relaxing loads together. The next day I felt guilty straight away which is natural but I decided to forget about it and enjoy it. But as the days have gone on my feelings of missing my boyfriend have only got worse and I want him sooooo much :'( but I know that is such a y thing to do because of the guy that really likes me! I know it will devastate him and I have to go to work with him etc. please help me. I really love my boyfriend but I'm so scared! My friends will only tell me to try and forget about my boyfriend and that its for the best!



p.s. sorry its really long! x

[kctiger]

The feelings you are having are normal, and it is also reasonable to second guess something you do, especially when your heart was into it.

Take time, to gather yourself, and heal from this. Don't worry about getting another guy, as this guy that likes you will ONLY be a rebound, and nothing more. Instead, just be alone, for awhile, as scary as that may be. Learn what truly makes you happy, alone, and then you will be ready for anything.

I also fear that you may have broken up with your boyfriend because you think the "grass was greener" with this new guy... which usually ends up bad. Stay away from both of them. I am not sure you really know what you want, and until you do, no man will satisfy your hunger.

Sucks as a process, but well worth it in the end.

[Romefalls19]

I agree with KC, you need to face your decision and not get carried away. Think about things.

I have a saying, a person isn't who they are from the last conversation you had with them, they are who they are all along.

[artlady]

You need time for you! Alone,without any relationships.
People get hooked on the idea of being with someone and you can not be happy with someone else until you know how to be happy by yourself.

You also said you were happy then not happy,that is the way of relationships.Everyone has down times,but you stick it out and work it out if you love and respect one another.Its not going to be all hearts and flowers.

Spend some time alone,soul searching and decide what it is you are really looking for.