Hi, I'm so stuck, and please don't judge me for this because it's never happened before.
Basically I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and I love him so very much, he's a pain in the bum, lazy, etc but he has changed recently. Anyway, for about a month now I've had feeling for somebody else, and they seem to just keep growing, he's told me he likes me and I've kind of admitted to him I like him. It's so hard on what to do, because I love my boyfriend to pieces but I can't stop thinking about this other guy.
Any suggestion? Help? Thank you, x

My advice leave your boyfriend. If you have feelings for someone else.

Im all for sorting out problems. But it sounds to me like if you don't leave him.. then you will cheat on him

Respect your boyfriend enough to leave him before you act on those feelings.

It is normal. That is what dating is all about.

You might love your boyfriend
You might lust after this other guy.

Who knows
Bottem line is. You are bored with your boyfriend and want to move on.

You have already told the other guy you like him.
So make a move before something happens. End it.
And then you can start something else up with another guy

You need to be honest with your current boyfriend and communicate your feelings to him.

Why are you getting emotionally involved with this other guy if you LOVE your current boyfriend to "pieces"?

Like TrueFaith said... DON'T CHEAT!! If you really want to break it off with him, you need to blunt and honest. Don't string him along with hope for a future for the two of you with crappy break-up lines like "I need space". That will result in more pain for him and maybe for you.

Blunt and Honest... thats the only way a break-up can be. Somebody is always going to be hurt, but the pain will pass much faster if the hope for reconciliation is gone!

Thanks for that, it sounds so simple :( But I've tried it before and found myself being too hurt because I missed my boyfriend!

Argh I hate this kind of thing, Thank you though x

Also if you do break it off... don't call him a month later asking how he is doing. It will make him feel like crap.

Well, here is one of my favorite quotes. "Never leave the one you love for the one you like because eventually the one you like will leave you for the one they love"

That's very true that quote but I'm always arguing with the one I love. We argue at least once a day and we don't live together or anything it's terrible really! But he doesn't seem phazed he's always adamant that he wants to be with me :( gosh!

He is arguing with you because he feels the change associated with you liking this other guy. Your not as emotionally close with him as you used to be are you? It's because your trying to hide your feelings and this other guy from him. Does he know about this guy?

Well the arguing has been more consistent lately but I'm the one to start the arguments. Because of silly things like he lies a lot over stupid thing, etc etc. and it winds me up. But yeah lately he's probably seen the change and has become more clingy. X

I know exactly what you mean, I'm kind of in the same situation I just haven't told him yet but in my case I'm not so sure I should considering he's my best friends ex. I suggest that well if you love your boyfriend tell him the truth, honestly is the best policy. But also try to do what feels right, but be careful peoples hearts when they're newly liking someone they race ahead, get delusional and get caught up in something that is just a picture you thought they were when they're nothing you wanted. Think about the causes for the actions. But if you're the type with a wide fled concience then try not to think about it too much or it makes you sick. I know what that's like... Lol. Good luck. :)

Right I know I already posted a problem. But I want to describe it in more detail as I don't think I made clear the actual situation at all.
I'm currently with my boyfriend of over a year. It's been really really rocky, I always found him to be so lazy, immature and not wanting to do anything. He found out that this guy liked me and we went on a break, I sort of ended it but I wasn't strong enough to go through with it. Since that, he's been quite clingy and never choosing other things over me and being very considerate. The last couple of days it's gone down again but not noticeably. We argue at least once a day and we don't even live together or anything like that, it's a nightmare but I find I can't control my anger around him.

Anyway, a couple of months ago I started talking to a guy I was working with (The same guy that my boyfriend found out liked me) We got on really well, shared similar interests and humour, etc etc. He was single and started telling me he liked me, and I found myself feeling the same way. We would talk a lot and started admitting our feelings to each other which really filled a gap in my life. I think he got fed up of waiting for me though and now he is with someone else, but I find that we still flirt? Though I'm not sure whether it's just one sided. He doesn't seem to have really strong feelings for the person he's with as he was adamant that he really liked me the day before he got with her. When me and my boyfriend broke up/ish for a week, it was really confusing and me and this guy talked loads again about how confused we are. But he had a girlfriend so there was nothing I could do, He kept telling me how he thinks he's rushed things and he can't help but feel bad for me. Now I'm back with my boyfriend, my feelings are only getting stronger for this guy and I really want to let him know that I'm still fallen.

I want to end with my boyfriend for good but I can't because I'm no way near strong enough, and I especially don't want to get with someone I like as they'll think there my rebound. I don't know how to end things with my boyfriend, I don't know whether I should and I don't know how I'll cope.

Please help, I'm so hurt and stuck on this. Also please don't judge as it is so hard for me.
Thank you x

I would either try to work things out with your current boyfriend or leave. You need to realize that sometimes love isn't enough. Maybe you guys should take a break for awhile. He has obvious issues he needs to work on, and you are obviously not happy in this situation. You can't stay with your current man just because you love him. If you aren't happy, then you need to get out, simple as that. Maybe it will be a wake up call to him to change his ways. Your happiness needs to take priority right now. As long as you don't cheat on your boyfriend, then there is nothing wrong with breaking up with him if you don't think things will work. Don't let your emotions control your actions. Think things through and go from there.

I love my boyfriend to pieces, but he is very lazy, we never do anything, he always has an excuse and we argue at least once a day. I love him very much but it isn't all about love and I've failed to see a significant change. I want to end it, but I know I'll be devastated as I've tried this before but was too weak to go through with it. How can I do it without being harsh and also, how can I cope with it? I was so hurt and I should be the strong one since I'm ending it?

I hope I get a lot of replys cause I really need help :) thanks so much x

Hi!
I'm sorry your relationship isn't working out! I broke up with my boyfriend of 1 yr and 4mnds at the beginning of October and I know what you're going though. It is hard to get dumped, but it isn't any easier to be the one who does it.

I know this might sound harsh, but I really think it will be hard to do this without hurting his feelings. First of all I think you should make a list for yourself (in your head if you don't want him to find it) as to why you want the relationship to be over. What are you're main reasons and what are the minor reasons. Can you save the relationship or are you ready to move on?

The best way is often to just tell him in a calm and steady way (if possible) that this isn't working out. It might be helpful to come with examples; e.g. we fight everyday.

Good luck!

/Roxy

Thank you :)

I'm also struggling a lot because I cry and cry because I miss him, but I know in the long term it will be better but it's so hard at the moment. Thanks x

Just know relationships take work and while you in it someone else might come along that you like but the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

You should leave your boyfriend and clear your head to figure out what you want. In your other thread you stated you wanted to leave him so do it and in the future stay focus to one guy.

Also, you don't have to keep starting new threads because all your threads need to be merged since they are all related. When they are together you will get better responses.

Let me first say that it's not very often on here that someone is as mature as you and knows what they want, instead of wasting more of your time in a dead-end relatioship, this is mighty brave of you.. I am proud to see this post..

Anyway, like the other poster said there really is no "nice" way to dump someone.

Just sit him down and say it's not working out anymore, you can't be together anymore.. and if he starts crying don't let it break you.. detach your feelings from the situation (you can let yourself feel the pain afterwards so you can stay strong) You don't owe him anything.. DON'T LET HIM MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY and if he asks why, give him a simple statement "We aren't right for each other anymore" and if he persists for more then say "please respect my decision and please know I want to leave it at that. " Then grab your things and leave.

Also writing a list of reasons you don't want to be with him is an excellent idea. Every time you start crying and feeling lonely go to that list and remind yourself as to why you can't be with him..

Be strong girl, and remember every minute you spend on this guy is another lost mintue of you finding the right guy..

My girlfriend's brother always tells this to his friends when they say "The grass is greener on the other side", he says "The grass is greener where you water it"... so you may think things could be better with this other guy, but you don't know that for sure, and if you stayed with your current boyfriend and worked on things, it could be a lot better with him, but that is for you to decide. Good luck

Pick one, and leave the other alone. If you can't choose, leave them both alone, until you can.

Wow, I just answered your other question about which guy to choose. You are so all over the place.

Its not about being strong, its about being honest, and telling the truth. And being fair.

Stick with that and just tell the guy the truth ASAP, and let him deal with it.

The longer you wait, the worse it gets. Then do yourself a favor, and stay out of relationships for a while, so you can get your own act together.