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tmcclain55 · Jan 10, 2009, 11:26 PM

I am 28 years old and it seems that my husband does not want me anymore. We have been married for 7 years now and he and I have sex maybe twice a year, and that is if I am lucky. What an I doing wrong? I try to make things different and all I get is the, "it is not you, it's me", crap. What can I do to make our love life better than it is now, Because right now I have no love life?

Nestorian · Jan 10, 2009, 11:32 PM

Hum, is he depressed? If so that kills sex drive, I was depressed for a long time and though I tried to have sex it just didn't help so I just gave up.

Also, what turns his crank, find out and work it. Talk to him, maybe he needs counseling for something that is bothering him. Really we need a lot more for any kind of angle on this, and even if we know every detail, you are your own person. You must choose what is needed.

Take care.

Clough · Jan 11, 2009, 01:40 AM

Hi, tmcclain55!

Greetings and WELCOME to the site! I just moved your question that you had posted in Introductions to this forum topic area so that it would get the most exposure to those who are best able to answer it. Introductions is for people to introduce themselves and we try to not ask questions there.

It can be a little confusing when first learning how to use this site! Your question will get noticed much more in this forum topic area.

I do note that you've already received one answer above.

We would appreciate it if you would return to Introductions sometime to tell us a little about yourself though, if you would be willing to do that.

Thanks!

talaniman · Jan 11, 2009, 09:55 AM

You must find out from him what the root cause of the problem. Just as you have no love life, neither does he.

Ask him why is it him with the problem, and not you, since you both are suffering with his problem.

The last thing you do is assume its you, and take it personally, as thats a good way to be looking in the wrong direction, and missing something you need to know.

jlh76 · Jan 11, 2009, 10:29 AM

My boyfriend and I have been dealing with this for a few months. He's had a lot going on. First it was at least a once a day every day thing and now it's down to once a week if I'm lucky. He is very good though at pulling me close and holding me just isn't interested in sexual intimacy. He's been under a lot of stress lately (no job, custody battle, holidays etc) and all of the sudden he decided he didn't like himself and needs to go work on it. I suggest talking to him and don't make a huge issue out of it. If he's stressed it will only stress him more.