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mattmogg22 · Jan 9, 2009, 04:25 PM

You will all be glad to hear that I managed to refrain from calling my girlfriend. It was hard but it turns out you guys know best and everyone else I have spoken to knows best!

Although I didn't speak to her I managed to speak with her best friend on the of chance. I told her how I was feeling and just asked how my girlfriend was feeling. She said:

Not great, she has only just started sleeping again. She is just so confused. She really has no idea what she wants, but I know the last things she wants to do is hurt you any more. I think she just wants to make sure she makes the right decision I think the only way to do that is to have some space. But I think she is finding it just as hard as you.She is worried that if things finish now she might realise later that she has lost the love of her life too, but I keep telling her that if you two are meant to be then you will be, even if not now, but she has to decide what she wants now. I think this space is good is making you both think about things and what you really want. You just need to give her some time.

What do you make of this? Do you think there maybe light at the end of the tunnel?

Wondergirl · Jan 9, 2009, 04:31 PM

Originally Posted by mattmogg22

What do you make of this?? Do you think there maybe light at the end of the tunnel?

Don't go there. Don't think that. She very well could have been letting you down easy. Women don't like to say negative stuff, will sugar-coat it and say what they think you want to hear. Continue NC!! And stop dreaming.

Stop digging for information about her. Of course, now the friend is going to tell your ex exactly what you said about how you feel about everything.

ja77 · Jan 9, 2009, 04:36 PM

Its good that you have kept up your no contact, we all know it is hard - but this is something you need to keep up.

You can always read a million and one things into anything. Right now you just need to keep moving forwards with your own life.

Your Ex being upset, that is normal - when people split up on either side there is always going to be sadness even if you where the one that broke it off etc.

You need to stop away from dragging info out of her friends, looking in bebo - myspace - Facebook etc, just keep the nc up - block email address and if still on your email ims etc BLOCK straight away.

mattmogg22 · Jan 9, 2009, 05:30 PM

I just spoke to someone who told me I should send some flowers? Do you think this will add pressure or be a thoughtful gesture?

Wondergirl · Jan 9, 2009, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by mattmogg22

I just spoke to someone who told me I should send some flowers?? Do you think this will add pressure or be a thoughtful gesture??

I hope you will be sending those flowers to us!

STOP SPEAKING TO HER FRIENDS!!

mattmogg22 · Jan 9, 2009, 05:51 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I hope you will be sending those flowers to us!

STOP SPEAKING TO HER FRIENDS!!!!!!!

I'm not! One of my female friends suggested it! So do you think it is a good idea?

Wondergirl · Jan 9, 2009, 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by mattmogg22

I'm not!! One of my female friends suggested it! So do you think it is a good idea??

It's the worst idea in the world! NO, NO, NO. DO NOT SEND FLOWERS!!

ISneezeFunny · Jan 9, 2009, 08:42 PM

... calling her is a bad idea.

.. what do you think sending flowers is?

If there is an inkling of a chance you two might get back together, the ONLY way this can possibly happen is if you DON'T talk to her, DON'T talk to her friends, DON'T talk to others about it (except your good buddies), and especially, DON'T buy her things.

Right now, move on, as if you two have already broken up. You're trying to show her that your life is OK without her, and this will drive her nuts.

KayGates · Jan 13, 2009, 01:40 PM

With such a long relationship at that age, she might just be feeling restless and needs some time to herself.

Good luck bud :)

ZoeMarie · Jan 13, 2009, 01:49 PM

Do not send the flowers. She needs time to sort things out. Don't distract her from that. It will only backfire on you

chrissymarie · Jan 13, 2009, 04:29 PM

Breaks are the subtle way to break up a relationship. I think if she wants a break because she doesn't know if she wants to be wi th you, you shouldn't give her one. It's not all about her and how she feels. Let her know she torturing you and your not going to stand for it. If she doesn't know if she really want to be with you then you shouldn't want her. I know you 2 have been dating for a long time but you've been dating during the most life altering times of your lives. She may feel different about you and just not have the heart to let you go...

When your in a relationship for a long time it is hard to get out because your life starts to become your partners life too. Separating the 2 lifes can be confusing and difficult.

But like I said. Breaks break up relationships. Don't offer her one. Either she's 100% with you or she's not.