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lovelen · Jan 7, 2009, 06:47 PM

My ex broke up with my 9 months ago and has a new girlfriend but throughout the entire 9 months he was still dating me (cheating on his ex) telling me he was going to leave her and com back to me.. never happened. She doesn't believe he cheated even though everyone has told her.. so she is still with him.

His best friend has been there for me a lot just this past month more than any other time and we have gotten really close.. just a few days ago he told me that he had feelings for me and I told him that nothing could come of it even if I feel the same way because it's a tough situation.. but he told me he can't help the way he feels about me.

My question is, is it really that bad of an idea to date him? He knows what happened between my breakup and still likes who I am and tells me that I didn't deserve to be treated the way my ex treated me.. it feels good knowing that he understands how badly I was hurt and he is so kind to me and we get along extremely well! He makes me happy :) should I just let this pass?

kctiger · Jan 7, 2009, 06:58 PM

Yeah, he is out of your boundaries. It is man law, and he should know, that you don't date one of your friends' ex's... period. I think it would be an awkward situation for you to be in, as you would be running with the same crowd and social settings. You need to separate from that stuff, and build a life that won't involve, in one way or another, your ex.

Maybe down the line, you could date him, but, as a guy, I would never date one of my friends former girlfriends (unless it was never a really serious relationship, and I asked him).

I also think this is coming dangerously close to a rebound situation for you. You are comforted by him, but that doesn't mean he would be a good option to date, just yet.

lovelen · Jan 7, 2009, 07:01 PM

kctiger! I'm glad I bumped into you haha :) thanks for answering my question.

Mans law. I can understand that.. but if he does keep insisting me to try to date, ill make sure he asks my ex for permission!

kctiger · Jan 7, 2009, 07:03 PM

Good talk! Glad I could help.

ylaira · Jan 7, 2009, 07:19 PM

Just in case you are considering him, you both need to have new set of friends. I'm not saying those old ones will no longer be your friends but "avoid" them in the early part because it's really awkwark. Be honest with them too if they noticed what you're doing. It would also helpful if you won't disclose that much what's going on.