[stephmed25]

I have a 5 year old son ever since he was born I always had trouble with. When he was 1 and 2 he did not sleep well always crying and very stubborn, and when he hit 3 this was my worst year he kicked me, hit me, cursed, refuse to take baths, or even brush his teeth it was a nightmare ,sleeping forget it I would be asleep first then him I use to cry.. at 4 one could not even go out in public with I mean the mall a restaurant I had complaints everyday from pre-k he would have tantrums throw himself on the ground run away from me in stores and hide.. I felt as if I was a bad parent like what am I doing wrong.. Now that he is 5 in kindergarten he's really smart even the teacher says he's the smartest one of all but needs help in self-control, I do see some improvement but I think it's just because he's older and understands more.. when I go visit a friend or go to a birthday party he gets very hyper.. runs, throws himself on the floor absolutely does not listen to me and at times kids his age come up to me and tell me they do not want to be bother by him... and he does get very aggressive towards other kids... He has an appointment finally with a neurological behavior doctor so ima see what the process is going to be... It seems like he does not realize what he does.. I feel he does have adhd all symptoms are him..

DOES ANYONE HAVE THIS ISSUE I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE..?

[Starbucks21]

Well the better question to answer this question is how do you handle when he does this.

I think you have a case of "child is too smart for own good"

He's uses the bad behavior to get what he wants... like your undivided attention to calm him down or discipline him

You may need a "time out" corner with a set limit of time like half his age with a timer. Then talk to him about what he did wrong and how that was the wrong way to go about it and how to fix it.

But really I think it is "child too smart for own good" and it's your reaction he's after. Because the simple cause and effect is... Cause= I do bad... Effect = Mommy and everyone else pays attention to me...

A preschool teacher told me once the worst children make the best adults

[stephmed25]

I do have a behavior chart and at home he's good its only when we go out in public... he knows that when his behavior is bad he gets punished but he seems to forget that in public at malls and stuff... I don't know lets see...

[DoulaLC]

Good that you are having him seen by a doctor... determine if there is any medical cause that needs to be addressed.

Before going out, talk often about the expectations of behavior. Have consequences in place that you can stick with... for example, don't threaten to take him home if you aren't going to follow through on it. When he behaves, have a reward for that. Bribery?. sure it is, but for many young children they need those extrinsic rewards before intrinsic rewards mean anything... that comes with maturity. Have several practice runs... where you don't really have to be out, but give him the opportunity to "practice"making good choice. Certainly don't let him know it is just for practice.

Avoid overreacting to his outbursts... keep it all matter of fact. Acknowledge when he is upset and assure him that you know that while he is upset when he misses out on something due to his behavior, you are sure he will make a better choice next time... end of discussion. Then be sure to give him a next time to do better and praise him when he does.

Be consistent, be controlled with your own behavior when he falls apart, be a good role model when dealing with your own disappointments.

[sc1452]

I have a 5 year old son. When he was 2, we realized, he was different than his 3 year old sister. He was colic for his first 3 months and I don't think he slept more than 2 hours a day(correlation?). Most notably, he did not get to sleep easily, he was angry, did not want to follow rules, you name it. I am a disciplinarian, not quit tought love, but certainly no gimmies on bad behavior.
We also had trouble at restaurants, in the supermarket, airplanes, et. People explained away his actions "he's a boy".
He is also very intelligent. It was suggested that my wife and I read self help books on raising Strong Willed Children. This did help because we realized the need to be direct and explicit with any directions that were given. When he was for a relative was over who is a teacher for K and K1. He was so hyper while she was in his presence, that after an hour of wild behavior, she said "this is not normal and most teachers won't be able to handle him".
His pre school teachers were complaining about his behavior. We recorded his playground activities and would point out the "inappropriate behavior". Socially it was becoming a problem, he could see it, but when asked, he never know why he did what he did.
We took him to a Dr. and after describing his actions, he was diagnosed ADHD. The Dr. suggested medicating him. I did not want to but, something had to give. After trying a couple of different medications and visiting with a social worker, I questioned "how do know we determine if he actually has ADHD and should keep taking medication?" The DR. response was, "has his behavior changed for the better?"
He is still impatient at times, gets bored easily, doesn't like loud noises. But he is the smartest, most caring and loving 5 year old (5 and 11/12th's as he would say), boy I know. I learned not to put him in situations without prepairing him ahead of time. Whether going to the store, over someone's house, you name it, we set the expectations, and that works every time.
I hate that my 5 year old has to take medication especially when he doesn't want to take it. The reality is he is a much better student and person because of the medication. Aside from not sleeping well, the side affects seem minimal. I explain to him the reason he has to take the medication when he questions it the same way it was explained to me. Every person is born with the chemical in them, he wasn't, so, like a car low on gas, he has to refill his tank every day. I continue to look for alternative remedies for him. When I read back what I wrote above, I realize my son has grown a lot.
Best wishes with your son