[ray2kid]

I am planning to marry my girlfriend in Toronto. She has the custody of her 4 1/2 year old daughter with 3 days visitation for her father. Can we go to court and request for relocation to Washington DC, where I reside and work. We are willing to let her stay with him during summer, and some holidays.

Here are some facts:

I have a great job with good income.
I have raised two children. My son is getting his master's degree, and my daughter has a year to graduate from Virginia tech.
Her ex husband is out of work.
He is not paying the full child support.
He has anger issues.
Her daughter complains to me about him not underestanding, and yelling all the time.

Thanks for your help.

[Emland]

You state what you are willing to do but have you spoken to the father about this?

[starbuck8]

I think this question would get more answers on the family law forum. I'll see about having this moved, in order to get the best advice.

[JudyKayTee]

I think this question would get more answers on the family law forum. I'll see about having this moved, in order to get the best advice.

This is family law.

I am not terribly familiar with divorce law in Canada. However - in the US this could very well depend on the terms of the Agreement of Divorce, Separation Agreement (incorporated into the Divorce) or any other Court orders. I can't imagine Canada is any different.

I have seen a parent given permission to leave the area if it is in the ultimate best interest of the child - for example, due to employment changes. I have seen permission granted but with all the lost visitation awarded to the parent who remains but in larger chunks of time - for example, longer vacations (including all Summer), that type of thing to make things equal.

If visitation is half a week here and half a week there it is more difficult to change - the father has considerable time with his child now and the Court could see the move as a significant and detrimental change.

As far as the anger issues - if he is a danger to the child the mother should move to change the visitation/custody for that reason. Has she attempted to do so? I assume he will still have anger issues after she moves but she won't be in proximity any longer. The Court is not going to allow the mother to move as some sort of punishment for the father.

Concerning not paying support - has the mother attempted to hold him in contempt if he is not paying the full amount of support? This is not a reason to lose visitation - there are two separate issues (in the US). If you don't pay support you are not necessarily denied visitation - and paying support doesn't guarantee you will get visitation.

As far as him "yelling at her all the time" - she's 4 years old! Again, if this is an issue of danger, then it's a separate issue. He'll still be yelling; the mother won't be in proximity.

You cannot simply remove the child from the father due to a remarriage, because you make a good income, he has anger issues, anything of that nature. You can request a change in custody because the mother is marrying and would like to move to another area/country.

The mother must get the permission of the Court, citing her reasons for wishing to move. The argument - if there is one - will be what is in the best interest of the child. I personally would not muddy the waters with issues about your income, your children, that type of thing. If you are asked it becomes pertinent but otherwise it is not and it almost sounds like you are thinking "adoption" down the road - and that is certainly not going to convince the father to cooperate.

If the mother and father are on good terms - and from what you have said it would appear they are not - she can always talk to him but whatever they decide should - for the child's protection - be approved by the Court. There is also the whole question of bringing a minor into the US and needing permission to do so.

Also, keep in mind that you have no legal standing here and also will have no legal standing if you are married to the mother. This is between the mother and the father and your assets have nothing to do with the situation.

[starbuck8]

I had to spread the rep Judy, but very good info given. Thanks for responding to my request for help on this one. :)