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bladerecon · Oct 19, 2008, 02:20 AM

Well, there is this girl that I am in love with. I have known her for three in a half years. I am bestfriends with her brother. I have always had a thing for her and vise versa. We dated back in April (2008) and it didn't end so well. I said something that I should have never said. We had just got done having sex and after she had left and went home and we were texting later on in the evening. I told her that I wanted to keep using a condom because I did not want another kid. I had, had a son that I didn't know about and he died a few years ago. It was an eye opener really. I had jumped the gun when we were talking. I had said "it was fun while it lasted" when I didn't mean for it to end. Well, she is a girl and she took it the wrong way. So for the next five months or so we talked on and off but it was usually one sided. Normally I wouldn't care about that, I mean, there are more fish in the sea, what's one girl? Well, every girl that I have dated in the end, it was all about money. It always was about money, and once it ran out, so did the relationship. Her and I were raised with some of the same morals and was brought up the same way I was. I spent the past five months trying to apologize for what I said, but she never listened. Well, finally I wrote her mom when she was incarcerated and I basically told her everything how I was feeling and just poured my heart out. I did get a response but she didn't say anything about her and I. I figured that I hurt her more than it hurt me but I was wrong. She was able to move on, but it hurt so much because I didn't mean what I said.A few weeks ago, I couldn't take the pain anymore. I finally wrote her a letter. I said that I am done apologizing and I would like to still be friends, but if she didn't want to be friends then I would stay out of her life. A week or so later she sent me a text message saying that she was sorry for acting the way she did and all that. It was nice and relaxing. She currently has a girlfriend right now and when I stay with her brother and kick it over at there place, I sometimes have to leave the house because it hurts me to see them together. A week ago, Her brother, his girlfriend and her and I got buzzed. She was in the other room smoking and I didn't know that she smoked. So I nodded my head and walked into another room and went to sleep. Well she came in and was wondering what was up. I told her that I didn't like to see her smoke and she said "and that bothers you?" and I said yes because you don't need to be doing that. Well we got to talking and stuff and then she left the room and came back. I was laying down and she walked in and got on top of me. She start to rub herself on me. And we talked a little bit more and I said that I wanted to kiss her. Because she is loyal and not a cheater, she put her face by my neck and I gave her a kiss in the cheek. I can't quite recall but I am pretty sure she kissed me on the neck. Later on that evening, she was talking to her brothers girlfriend and she told me that she still liked me and if she didn't leave, she wasn't able to control herself. I guess what I am asking, I know this sounds like everything is fine and dandy, but I want to know, do you think that her and I will ever get back together?

talaniman · Oct 19, 2008, 12:59 PM

I really hope not. Your time could be better spent doing something positive, for yourself. Same with her.

TrueFaith · Oct 19, 2008, 01:05 PM

For a girl to take something like that.
With out talking to you first
And asking

Hey What do you mean by that?

Then she is not worth it and you should stop thinking about her,
Get on with your life. And yeah it takes a while to find the right person. But trust me she is not

Best of luck

SimpleguyJoe · Oct 19, 2008, 02:55 PM

Well if you want to go for it. If not then just forget about it.

You might be able to get back together but make sure you know you want to. She obviously still has feelings for you if she did that.

Just think about what broke you up in the first place.

talaniman · Jan 2, 2009, 09:08 PM

Sounds like lust to me, and that usually has one or the other sniffing around. Is it healthy, I don't know, but it is confusing, as it tends to wear off, and get intense later. Building a relationship on lust is like building a snowman in January, and expecting it to be there in June. Not likely to last.

Dude it was hard enough the first time around, so what so different this time??

bmc_imr4308 · Jan 3, 2009, 12:14 PM

I agree with the pervious post. Lust won't make a relationship, it has to be love not lust. If she can't control herself when you are around then that is a sure sign that it is only lust that drove your pervious relationship. You sound like a good guy and you could do a lot better, like you said "there are plenty of fish in the sea" you should heed your on advice and move on, because if you don't then your life will be based on lust and you will lose everything.

Ellie181 · Jan 3, 2009, 12:34 PM

I do agree with both of the previous posts, but I think there is one thing tosay about it: I don't think she knows what to do yet. She says she wants you when you're around, but doesn't wants to split up with her partner. Now she's just having the best of both of you, and that isn't fair on you two. I you really like her, there isn't much to do about it. You'd better ask her if she'd consider going out with you on a permanent base. But TALK to her though, so you'll see how she reacts. If she says no, you just have to forget her. But then you've tried.

Good luck

texangirl · Jan 3, 2009, 12:43 PM

Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. You need to ask her dircectly what it all means. Tell her how you feel and let her know you'd like it to go further but it won't be physical at first. That you need to think about everything both of you do. Also, is she going to be willing to go the condom route this time? Let her that it is non-negotiable.

chuff · Jan 6, 2009, 07:49 PM

Your ex girlfriend has a girlfriend?

confused4910 · Jan 6, 2009, 09:59 PM

Hum it sounds like your in a tough situtaion right now, and yes I believe you two will eventually regain the lost feelings for each other. Its all going to happen in a matter of time though its nothing that's going to occur over night. Its obvious that being with you that night made her confused on who she really wanted to be with. Her decision to leave just showed that she's still crazy for you. Just give her time to sort things out and continue showing your emotions for her, that will let her know that you still care for her and have feelings.