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    vidisha9's Avatar
    vidisha9 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 26, 2008, 08:30 AM
    I am depressed, stucked in between what to do and what not
    I am 33 year old woman maaried for 8 years having a 3 year old baby; my husband is very loving and loves me much I can even imagine. I hate being a complete house wife which I am playing for 4 years as I left my job becoz of taking care of baby. I can not rely on any baby sitter, and also can not join any company that is far from my house; Day by day I am compromising with myself and the situtation I made and getting stucked into it. I am feeling that I made mistakes by marrying and more over having a baby; and this feeling constantly making me guilty thinking that how unhuman I am. I do not love working in the kitchen as well as being at home for 24 hrs; But I am also afraid and feeling insecure going out side leaving my child at home. I am torned by my own contradiction. Please Help Me
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #2

    Dec 26, 2008, 09:38 AM
    That is a huge compromise. When you stay home to raise your own children, you sacrifice your career, friends, and the outside world for the most part. Your life is only taken up with what revolves around the baby.

    I stayed home for 15 years, and I know exactly how it feels. Now I will tell you, if I had to do it over again, what would I have done differently.

    With your child now being three, get yourself a part time job. Only a few hours a week. Even one or two shifts at the local supermarket. Even if it costs you more to pay a sitter than what shows up on your paycheque, it will be worth it. It is for your own self-esteem, and confidence, which also take a nosedive when you are a stay at home mom. (not all, but I was in that vortex you are in)

    With that paycheque, invest in courses toward a degree of some kind. You can work online and through correspondence. Set aside one or two hours a day, no matter how hard a day you've had, to concentrate on your studies. Set a goal of having that degree by the time your child is in grade 1.

    Get a few fitness video's, and sometime during the day, do a 20 min. workout. There are so many benefits to building up your strength, physically, and emotionally.

    Getting bits and snippets of time between everybody else's needs and wants isn't the answer. You need to incorporate your OWN routine in your day.

    Set some goals, plan your future, even short term, and you will be a much happier person.
    shatriya's Avatar
    shatriya Posts: 156, Reputation: 18
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Dec 29, 2008, 05:08 AM

    Ur problem has a very simple answer. Talk to your husband.
    As u said, he is very loving and understanding, shouldn't he be understanding this too?
    End of the day, he is your husband, he is supposed to be your best friend and adviser. You need to tell him about your feeling mam. Everything is going to be just fine after that. You just need to trust your trust over your husband.

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