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talaniman · Dec 12, 2008, 09:43 AM

None taken, it is what it is.

brad321 · Dec 22, 2008, 05:21 PM

So been about a month now with NC and I was at the gym today with some buddies and out come out of the locker room and my exs mom is right there I just smile and say hello, and then walk to go to the drinking fountain and saw my ex running on the treadmill, just glanced and acted like I didn't see her. This sucks, it hurts to know that I can't talk to her really or id pry screw everything up that I have worked hard on. You know this sounds stupid but I still would like a second chance with her, just not sure what to do. Every time in the past I tried talking or anything seems like I hurt my chances. You know where the part of you is torn from never wanting to be with her again, and having a second chance kind of torn in the middle of the two. Like I know there is nothing to bring her back, she would have to want to come back so I think I did the right thing by not going to talk to her

talaniman · Dec 22, 2008, 05:46 PM

Actually you did, and whether it was your instinct, or her mom being there, you did the right thing.

Just figure the emotions seeing them out the blue has stirred up, then multiply that by a hundred, and you can imagine what you have saved yourself, by not talking to her. (Or was the treadmill intimidating?! )

Well done, by my reckoning.

brad321 · Dec 22, 2008, 06:35 PM

So cause I do kind of want a chance you know, I didn't hurt my channces at all by not going to talk to her did I

kctiger · Dec 23, 2008, 07:09 AM

Your chances... quit thinking like that. You didn't hurt your chances of healing, if that is what you mean, but I hardly doubt that is what you are talking about.

talaniman · Dec 23, 2008, 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by brad321

so cause i do kind of want a chance u know, i didnt hurt my channces at all by not going to talk to her did i

Oh boy, the sight of her, gives you hope of another chance, or is that why your doing this No Contact thing. I thought all this was done, and settled 7/8 pages ago. Do we have to start all over again or what? I sure am glad she didn't smile, or wave at you, now that could really drive you nutsy bozo!:eek:

kctiger · Dec 23, 2008, 08:35 AM

Perhaps it is time you find another health club to utilize...

jmw0713 · Dec 23, 2008, 08:54 AM

I agree with KC... I'm sure there are a number of other health clubs near by that have some smoking hot women in them. :D Those are the ones I need to find.

brian1231 · Dec 23, 2008, 09:31 AM

She cheated on you man. She lied to you about it.

Move on! ANYONE deserve better than that, regardless of the situation.

brad321 · Dec 23, 2008, 10:14 AM

All right all right, I got it I'm a dumba** . The thing is though you some of those feelings came back when I saw her, but not nearly to the extent I would have thought. And to answer the question I'm doing NC to heal, think yesterday was just a set back and I didn't think before I came on here, I had some time to think and not even sure why I posted that. Im sorry for wasting people's time on here,

kctiger · Dec 23, 2008, 10:16 AM

You are wasting no one's time on here... how do you think I occupy myself at work? I know how it feels to run into the ex and have the feelings come back, samething happened to me a few weeks ago. You handled yourself well! Be proud that you are making progress.

talaniman · Dec 23, 2008, 11:17 AM

Your not wasting our time. We all understand, and under the circumstances you really did great, despite the shock.

We just like to nudge those that need it every now, and then, so your not a dumba$$, you just got a needed nudge.

That's what family does, and your among dumba$$es just like you! Hehehe!

jmw0713 · Dec 23, 2008, 11:35 AM

Yes, I especially can be labeled a dumba$$. I've done many dumb things and will probably do many more before I'm done... especially when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex and messed up relationships.

You just have to roll with the punches and do the best you can. That's all anyone, even yourself, can ask. We all make mistakes. In this case you didn't make a mistake, you did the right thing for yourself.

Your brain just got overloaded when you saw her and the feelings of hope came back. After thinking about it, and dealing with the situation you realize that you made the proper choice.

I think anyone who recently went through a break-up would have probably reacted the same way you did. I know I would have.

brad321 · Dec 23, 2008, 02:50 PM

Thank you all for everything. It is so nice to have people to talk to and help you out even when I keep making stupid mistakes. Yes, I know its dumb to want another chance with her, but I'm not going to do anything about it I'm going to keep moving on and if she decides she wants back ill deal with it than. Ive learned so much about myself that I'm in shock. And if she ever does decide to want to come back she is going to have to do a hell of a job earning trust back. It would be dumb to just jump into a relationship again and not fix what needed to be fixed you know, but its also dumb to wait around. Got to live life and continue to do what I'm doing. Thank you everyone for all your help I know I would be having a lot harder time if it wasn't for all of you

LifeChangesMan · Dec 23, 2008, 03:39 PM

::applauds::

Stick to what you said man, don't go back on it...

We're all here for you, I hope you realize that now...

Take Care,
LCM

brad321 · Dec 24, 2008, 12:40 AM

I'm not going to try and go back, but why am I so stupid that I would actually consider going back with her if she ever came back, after all she has done to hurt me and after making out with a few guys, why is it that I could find it in me to forgive her?

talaniman · Dec 24, 2008, 05:49 AM

That's normal given your level of involvement and a sign your still struggling with letting go. Takes time.

kctiger · Dec 24, 2008, 06:52 AM

Hek dude, if my ex came and said she wanted to give us another shot, I would seriously consider (however we pretty much mutually broke up). Like Tal said, it is normal. Just keep moving forward, and NEVER look back.

jmw0713 · Dec 24, 2008, 07:07 AM

Same with me. Even though my ex is with someone else right now... if she came back and realized what she did, how she hurt me, and proved to me, over a period, that she is genuine in her wanting to come back, I would consider taking her back as well. However, you cannot move on with this type of thinking. You have to move expecting her to never come back to you. Anything otherwise will give you false hope and delay any progress you may make to finally moving on.

brad321 · Dec 24, 2008, 12:55 PM

I got you guys, so pretty much try and stay strong move on, think that she won't come back and if the opportunity arises sometimes deal with it then