[KrazyPoe]

Well, I have just signed up for this website and I have never been on a blog like this so here I go!

This summer I had met a women while I was working at a store in the mall. We hung out a lot and she seemed like an awesome girl. We had a lot of things in common and always had a good time with each other.

I made the mistake, I feel, to have decided to sleep over at her place not too long after we started talking.

* On the first date with her she was showing me pictures of her things with her daughter and other things. But the thing about this, is that among these photos were photos of her nude. She had taken several nude photos of herself and seemed to just laugh and disregard them while she was scrolling through them and talking to me about them ---- I should have seen this as my first "red flag"

I ended up just moving most of things at her place and staying there all summer. She has a job as a secretary at a local oil company. So it was nice being able to know she has a job and is going some where in life.

BUT here is when things started going down hill.

The night came when we had a little bit to drink and she kept seducing me. I was a virgin at the time. One thing led to another and we had sex.

We had sex almost everyday for 2 months.

Because she was my first - this led to a very deep connection with her. At least for me.

I had come to the realization that she never told me about her daughters father, so I asked. ----- it turned out that she was still married and currently going through a divorce. :eek:

I took a deep breath and told myself.. everyone makes mistakes.. right? But it's OK now because I am here and I can help her through this.

I left to go back to school, which is a couple states away. I would be coming back, however for a week or 2 every month.

She had told me a week after I had left that she found a second job as a waitress at a restaurant. She would tell me all these elaborate stories about this job and how well it paid.

She would make hints about "regulars" and "making 200 bucks a night"

I trusted here and didn't think twice.

The day came when she gave me a phone call - " I have something to tell you " kind of phone call.

"I feel like I have been living a double life. I want to let you know I havn't been working as a waitress, I have actually been stripping at a local strip club."

It hit me like a brick.

This girl has taken my so much from me emotionally, and on top of that - my virginity.

Well you just can't let a girl who has made it into your heart, just GO right?

I tried to stay strong but I couldn't shake the fact that guys were seeing her walk around with almost nothing on and seeing her dance on poles and everything else. I found myself coming up with excuses like - well she has a daughter and is going through a divorce - maybe she needs the money.

She broke up with me because she " couldn't handle the idea of having a boyfriend while she is a stripper. "

I didn't like that but I stuck with it.

*I am the type of guy who tries to help girls when they are hurt. I could tell she had some problems and I just didn't want to leave her like everyone else did in her life. I was the "pin cushion" for everything she went through in her divorce.

Over time, a span of a month, she started to slowly have "phone problems".

Her phone seemed to always be dead or in her car every time I tried to talk to her.

I wanted to help her through this and be there for her when she needed me, but she was pushing me away.

She would tell me she would call me back, but NEVER did. Not once. I had to be the one to call.

I told her that, when I come back, I just wanted to go out to dinner and talk about all of this, seeing how every conversation we had thus far was over the phone.

I made reservations downtown and everything.

She said " I would love that! "

The minute I got back into town I texted her and told her about the reservations. --- No reply, no call.

After a couple of days, I was about to burst. I HAD to know why she wasn't getting back to me. So I did what I had to do, I grabbed my friends phone and called her.

She picked up, she was obviously at a club or bar. I said one word and she hung up.

I knew where this was going and it was tearing me apart.

The next morning, this past thanksgiving day, to be exact - I woke up to a text message on my phone saying :

" Here's the deal, I have a boyfriend that i love and care for so much. Last night when you called, he got pissed. You calling me from another phone? are you psycho? For the sake of me and him, back the off. Have a good day. "

After I read that, I deleted her number. I haven't talked to her since that day.

I fell into a depression and am now seeking help from a therapist.

My question is : How do you get over a girl who made you feel like you were on top of the world, who you gave your heart, trust, and virginity to -- but the minute you left, got a job as a stripper - dumped you - told you they didn't want a relationship right now but then went out with someone else.

I have been all up and down the internet looking at "How to deal with a break up" etc. but nothing I read has anything to do with the connection you might have gotten if they were your first.

Please help -- Much Love :)

[a la king]

I remember when I broke-up with the girl I lost my virginity to. We we're together for a year and half. It isn't nearly as sordid as your story.. but the feelings and emotions were the same... she cheated etc etc.

I was left dazed for months and months and couldn't believe it would happen to me.

You WILL get past this. I did, and now that I look back at it I barely even give it a second though. I'm guessing you're still fairly young... you will have many more relationships and break-ups that will probably make this one feel like a walk in the park ;)

[talaniman]

The first break up is rough, and whether it's the first or the 50th, they all suck! Over time you will learn how to deal with your feelings, and cope with your loss, but for now READ the stickies at the beginning of this forum, they will help, there is a link in my signature if you have a problem.

[cbsf]

My sense is that she wasn't a trustworthy person; she deceived you early on and used you for sex and perhaps to make her husband jealous. That she hid her profession from you says a lot -- I'm not judging sex workers, but would you have gotten involved with her if you had known this before?