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meiri · Dec 20, 2008, 12:28 PM

Hello Everybody,

I am Meiri from Brazil. I used to leave in the US. Married to a Purto Rican guy and we just got divorce. My heart is broken because my ex-husband is dating online a girl from Russia and he is bring her to US by Christmas. It is not easy feeling to see all this happening. I am back to my country now.:)

meiri · Dec 20, 2008, 12:44 PM

My ex is dating a Russian woman online. He is bring her for Christmas. Even thought they not meet each other yet they are talking seriouly about marriage. He is 67 years old and she is 40. She is telling him she loves her and he is doing the same. How this can happen?

N0help4u · Dec 20, 2008, 12:56 PM

Easy.
Either they do love each other or they love who they imagine each other to be. Only time will tell.

Rohin Arora · Dec 20, 2008, 01:00 PM

Things happen Meiri.
We have to move on.I know its difficult to handle break offs and divorces.Its tougher in the starting but as you know,time is the best healer.

So try to forgot those days and hope for a better future.
Develop habbits like reading to help you in coming out of the situation.Hang out with your friends.
He has a girlfriend online,then what?since you two are separated,there is no control over his activities.and you can make friends too online.
I am not talking about making bfs but there are lots of good people on the net that can be good friends.You can share your feelings with them until you get better.

Life will move for sure and so you should.

All The Best.

meiri · Dec 20, 2008, 01:00 PM

I forgot to mention... that they have been talking each other last the 2 months

Fr_Chuck · Dec 20, 2008, 01:02 PM

So it is your ex, why do you care, as your ex, it is really none of your business.

But often things are so bad in some nations, women will do anything to get out, and getting married to someone who will take care of them here, is a lot better than life there. Really not uncommon at all.

Clough · Dec 20, 2008, 01:05 PM

Greetings and WELCOME to the site, meiri! I noticed that you've already posted about your dilemma over in Relationships. That's good, because Introductions isn't where we address issues here.

Thanks!

meiri · Dec 20, 2008, 01:15 PM

I know it is none of my business. But I still care for him.

N0help4u · Dec 20, 2008, 01:17 PM

Nothing you can do without seeming like a meddling hurt ex.

Rohin Arora · Dec 20, 2008, 01:23 PM

Things happen Meiri.
We have to move on.I know its difficult to handle break offs and divorces.Its tougher in the starting but as you know,time is the best healer.

So try to forgot those days and hope for a better future.
Develop habbits like reading to help you in coming out of the situation.Hang out with your friends.
He has a girlfriend online,then what?since you two are separated,there is no control over his activities.and you can make friends too online.
I am not talking about making bfs but there are lots of good people on the net that can be good friends.You can share your feelings with them until you get better.

Life will move for sure and so you should.

All The Best

sully123 · Dec 20, 2008, 01:28 PM

Do you honestly think this relationship will work after two months? I don't think so! Lay low now, and do nothing. She is looking for a free ride.. nothing else. It's kind of like a mail order bride. Sounds crazy too me..

meiri · Dec 20, 2008, 01:51 PM

My ex-husband is a smart and secure money kind of man. So I am wondering what make him fall for this Russian woman so fast.

N0help4u · Dec 20, 2008, 01:55 PM

Often people who talk over the internet make themselves appear different than maybe what they are (put their best foot forward)
Then the person they are talking with builds an idealistic image of who they believe the person is.
Only time will tell. She could be a gold digger, she could be looking for a better life, she could be sincere. It is up to your friend to determine in the end.

Rohin Arora · Dec 20, 2008, 02:02 PM

Attraction is a thing that can happen to anyone.
Sometimes it's the lonliness and sometimes its just the frustration that eases off when you talk to a person.

You see what happens is when you have a new friend,things appear to go very well,and especially with online friends.
Its different to talk to a person on internet and face to face.
U see marriage is not possible because when you live with a person,many things matters like d way of living,the hygine maintained and etc etc.
So Don't worry,things like this are very uncommon and least probable to happen and end well.

N0help4u · Dec 20, 2008, 02:11 PM

Have no idea what Rohin is saying but marriage is possible between any couple that wants to marry but them marrying is putting the cart before the horse when they haven't even gotten to meet each other and know each other in person.

sully123 · Dec 20, 2008, 02:25 PM

Mieri, I am sorry for you. I thought it was an ex-boyfriend, not your husband. I know it hurts. But think its his lost. He lost a good women. Don't beat yourself up. How long were you married and you have children?

N0help4u · Dec 20, 2008, 02:34 PM

How long has he been your ex husband?
What kind of relationship do you have now?
I take it he tells you everything and sees you at least as a best friend or close?

meiri · Dec 20, 2008, 03:23 PM

I was married for 9 years. We do not have kids. After the divorce I return to Brazil where my family lives. I have been here for 03 months. Up to the begin of this month we use to contact each other by email. In his last email he told me that he decided not to keep in touch with me anymore because he'd found a woman in his life and he was very happy with her. A common friend told me that woman is someone he just met online, that she is from Russia, that she is in love with him, that he sent her a ticket to her to fly to US to spend christmas with him. And what is worst that is going to marry her.

liz28 · Dec 20, 2008, 03:37 PM

Your ex-husband is 67 years old so he is capable of making his own mistakes. Sometimes you have to live and learn and some learn the hard way. Who knows what will happen between him and her but whatever happens is between them two.

Are you going be at the Christmas party that he's bringing her too? If so, this might give you the chance to met her along with everyone else.

Nowadays, people are meeting people from the over the internet and supposely fall in love but everyone knows that you have to physically know the person before you can do so. When people meet people over the net they get emotionally attach to that person and confuse it with love. But again, he is a big boy that is capable of making his own choices so for the time being you need to step aside because no matter what you say to him, it will fall on deaf ears.

talaniman · Dec 20, 2008, 05:53 PM

If he is happy so should you be. Weird as it sounds... nevermind!