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    asian_gurlie217's Avatar
    asian_gurlie217 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Dec 10, 2008, 08:37 PM
    How do I get the courage?
    I have been dating this guy for a yr and 8 months... the thing is, he is a compleat to me. Always puts me down, yells at me, makes me cry myself to sleep, basically makes me depressed... I want to leave him but I can't seem to do it... a part of me can't leave him. I need help:(
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #2

    Dec 10, 2008, 08:42 PM

    Yes you do need help..

    Can you go to your mom and dads house sister friends?

    Just tell him that's it. Get some of your stuff and leave.

    You have to get rid of him. As this relationship is not healthy for you. And you know this

    The part of you that wants to be with him
    Is to scared to be alone.

    You have to be strong and seek help from family and friends!

    All the best
    jansen88's Avatar
    jansen88 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 10, 2008, 08:43 PM

    My mom is in the same situation and she won't just leave this guy alone. I even had to call the cops one time because he knocked her out. Even though they were drunk. I was 14 at the time and I had to drive home. About 15 minutes away. But now there back together I think there on there fourth break up now. I am now 16 just turned 16. But my mom is the same way. I hope this helps. I would just tell him and move in with your parents until you can get back on your feet again.
    jjwoodhull's Avatar
    jjwoodhull Posts: 1,378, Reputation: 239
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    #4

    Dec 10, 2008, 08:45 PM
    You deserve so much better than what you are putting up with! I know it's hard to make a big change but you will be so much happier if you do. Get out now!
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
    		  
    #5

    Dec 10, 2008, 08:45 PM

    He is abusing you! Think of all of the time you are losing, while this man is chipping away at yourself esteem. Don't think of him, he isn't thinking of you! You could've met a great man in the time you invested with this jerk! Leave now while you've still got your dignity. Trust me, I know what I am talking about here! He will not change, and it will only get worse. Pack your bags when he is gone, and just GO! You will really regret it if you don't! It could literally ruin the rest of your life, if you stay!
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
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    #6

    Dec 10, 2008, 08:48 PM

    Just leave. If you don't have the courage to do it while he is there do it when he's out. He's treated you with no respect and deserves none from you.


    Do it the next time your alone in the house. Get the essentials and get out.
    Go to a friend or relative's house.

    If you can't do that..

    Get a hotel room.

    If you can't do that

    Go to a woman's shelter.

    There is no excuse to stay in this relationship, keep telling yourself that as you shut the door behind you.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #7

    Dec 10, 2008, 09:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by asian_gurlie217 View Post
    ....i want to leave him but i can't seem to do it...:(
    So your willing to put up with this abusive behaviour and be unhappy for how long??
    ImTotallyLost's Avatar
    ImTotallyLost Posts: 134, Reputation: 24
    Junior Member
    		  
    #8

    Dec 10, 2008, 09:19 PM

    If you need help to leave, you can try looking at this website here: National Domestic Violence Hotline

    Or call the number 1-800-799-7233.

    Hope it helps.
    SimpleguyJoe's Avatar
    SimpleguyJoe Posts: 302, Reputation: 68
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    #9

    Dec 10, 2008, 10:22 PM

    Had to spread the rep Truefaith but your exactly right.

    Why keep yourself locked up in a perverbial cage of despair? You have the key to your own freedom and happyness, use it. If you have to straight up and leave while he is at work then that's what you have to do... It should be about you.

    Also have you tried talking with him at all? Any reasoning or anything at all to give you hope that he will change for the better?
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
    		  
    #10

    Dec 10, 2008, 10:39 PM

    There is no sense in talking to him. If in this amount of time, he is still doing this, he won't listen to reason. He might pretend to be listening, and make all kinds of promises, but it will go right back to the same thing, and escalate from there.

    He doesn't like himself, and he wants to drag you down beneath him, so he feels superior. His abuse is not about you, it is entirely about him. The things he calls you, and the way he treats you are his power tools.

    What does he do when you cry yourself to sleep? Does he hug you? I bet he doesn't. Does he comfort you? I bet he doesn't. Does he tell you to suck it up? I bet he does. Does he call you a big baby, and say that you are stupid and too sensitive? I bet he does. Does he roll over and completely ignore you? I bet he does!

    Leave the SOB while you have a chance. Like I said before, pack your things while he's gone, and get out of this pit of hell that you are in, before it's too late.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Dec 10, 2008, 11:52 PM

    You should get some one, either a family member, or friend, to help and support you.
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