[foxigirl83]

I have been in a serious relationship for the last 5 years, but the more I think about my future seriously the more I fear this relationship will take me nowhere. When I met "John" I was only 20 years old and fresh out of a disatisying life of short term flings and disapointments. When we started dating I quickly became infatuated with him and he appeared to feel the same. He had the same cravings for a close exclusive relationship with me, and we shared a great sense of humor, and enjoyed doing a lot of the same things. It seemed like a great wonderful change had come into my life. After awhile I realized that "John" enjoyed having an occasional drug cocktail of cocaine beer and painpills. At the time I didn't do any drugs myself and this bothered me, but I figured maybe if this was something he did rarely maybe we could work on it. I ended up finding out that his drug use was more than an occasional thing, he was using cocaine almost every day and drinking beer like koolaide. I talked to him about it and he said he would quit and cut down on these habbits. He seemed better for awhile but eventually I caught him using again. I was already emotionally invested and chose to stay and help him through it. I was convinced that I loved him and there was no sense in giving up when he had so many perfect qualities that I longed for.We would have to work on this. Well my brother suggested I leave him saying that he will only bring me down with him. He was right three years later I was a working fully functional oxcontin addict with a $300 a week habit. Eventually I ended up in a methadone program and have stayed clean since. "John" has never successfully stayed clean and can't seem to keep a job anymore. I know I need to think of my future AND NOT ONLY THINK OF "jOHN" but I am so emotionally invested in him how could I ever leave him? What can I do?

[lamoonia]

Maybe I'm not a very good man but I think if you are serious about this man, you should stick to him, unless you have a better choice.

NOBODY IS PERFECT. The sooner you learn this, the better. My aunt tried for some 35 years to help her husband get rid of cigarettes but she failed simply because not everyone can get off addictions once in.

I think you should try some good professional help for your lover, after all, I think you owe him the love he gave you and believe me, it is almost impossible to get a second love in life. Love is precious, learn to treasure it and don't listen to people who ask you to desert him as soon as he commits the first mistake.

I can say this because I lost love twice and I'm not ready to lose again, if I can find third love. The best part in love is the friendship and you should prove a good friend if you want a good friend in return.

Good luck.