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sarah_20pgn · Nov 28, 2008, 07:56 PM

My son is 3years old.He was dianosed with autism in December of 2006.He has such a hard time following instructions,and simple commands.He gets very aggravated when things don't go his way (just like a typical toddler).I can't not let him walk with his father or I in a store because he will run off.We get down on one knee,look him in the eye and tell him that he's not to run off,and that he's to stay with mommy and daddy but still yet he does not listen.He looks at us as if he does not understand what we are saying.I am in such need of help.

homebirthmom · Nov 28, 2008, 08:14 PM

This is a very difficult situation. I don't envy you, as autistic children are very difficult if you aren't prepared. However, there are a lot of resources out there to help parents like yourself.
I don't normally agree with the use of the harness/leash for children, except in certain circumstances. Yours is one of those circumstances, that might help greatly. I'm not suggesting that you put the harness/leash on your son, and just let him run the end of the leash, but hold his hand and use the harness as well, so if he does happen to get away briefly, he isn't actually going anywhere. It is a safe sollution to a dangerous problem.
My mom worked with an autistic child in a SPARC daycare a fewyears back, and her biggest tool with this little boy was teaching him sign language. It was a way the boy could communicate, as most autistic children learn to talk late, and it was a way he could listen, without actually listening. It worked well, and both teacher and student were greatly affected. Good luck with your son. I'm sure he is a handful, as most toddlers are, but remember he loves you, even if he doesn't know how to show it.

ashey23ole · Dec 4, 2008, 04:43 PM

I agree, you defenitely need access to good resources and support in your community.

Also, to decrease the tantrums, keep a tight schedule with him. Schedules help the kids stay in control. Also, be prepared with transitions, such as going to the grocery store. Always prep the child before going, and hopefully in time, it will be an expected trip and he will be more controlled.

Because children with autism have impaired communication it is difficult for him to tell you his needs, and it also inhibts him from understanding you as well...

megenius · Dec 11, 2008, 07:43 PM

Children with Autism are very visual. It might be helpful for you to create some sort of set of rules for him to look at to help him determine what is proper behavior for the supermarket. There are many great resources out there, but this could be as simple as photographs of him doing the right things. Another suggestion would be to write a social story for him. These stories are often helpful for situations that are difficult for children with Autism. Many times, we forget that their world is a world of overstimulation, and something that we would never dream of may be triggering the tantrum. I feel, however, that the most important measure is to be consistent with him. Structure is VERY important for children with Autism, and though it might be difficult to maintain structure on a trip to the supermarket, it would be useful to maintain as much as possible. If you have any extra questions, I would love to answer them for you. Hope this helps!

sarah_20pgn · Jan 30, 2009, 04:03 PM

My 3yr old son throws the worst tantrums of any child I have ever met.he gets so ea ily aggravated & upset.he will get mad & throw himself on the floor screaming until his blue in the face & even sometimes slapping himself.im running out of ideas on how to help this problem.any suggestions?

danielnoahsmommy · Jan 30, 2009, 04:06 PM

I know it sounds tough, but you have ignore it. He is looking for your response.

sarah_20pgn · Jan 30, 2009, 07:22 PM

I have always corrected him when he has thrown his fits.spanking is my last alternative but I have had to do so on numerous occations.I sit him in his timeout chair because I know that's one thing he doesn't like to do.I just don't know any other ways on how to handle him when he throws his fits or how to help sonetimes prevent them

Fr_Chuck · Jan 30, 2009, 07:27 PM

You know I do believe in spanking for some things but not this, give them no attention, ignore them

N0help4u · Jan 30, 2009, 08:27 PM

When he is not having fits explain to him that throwing tantrums gets him nowhere and in fact can work against him because once he goes into a tantrum the answer will remain NO whereas if he remains in good behavior you may POSSIBLY change your mind. I know reasoning with a child is difficult but eventually it may sink in. When you see that he is making an effort to stop the tantrums then try rewarding him by 'changing your mind' on some occasions when it isn't a big deal so that he can see that his controlling his temper does pay off and explain to him that you decided you wanted him to have the *cookie* or whatever because you see he is getting to be a big boy because he is not having the tantrums.

Wondergirl · Jan 30, 2009, 08:35 PM

You've mentioned in another thread that your son is autistic. For that reason, you will have to deal with him a little differently.

Managing Tantrums in Autism Spectrum Disorders

The Autism Home Page

Nickcom2007 · Feb 2, 2009, 12:19 AM

I have this problem with my daughter, 19 mo, she's bad sometimes. The doctor told me to put her in another room and leave her there until she's finished. The doctor said if she does it for 10 minutes or an hour, leave her. She said as long as nothing is near her to "seriously" hurt herself it's fine. My daughter used to smack her head sometimes, I started holding her hand when she'd do it and sternly tell her NO! It made her madder but after a while she stopped doing that. The tantrums, not so much. It will get better, it'll take time. Sometimes a long time. What he's doing is looking for attention for his behavior, whether it's good or bad attention. Attention is attention to them.

Nickcom2007 · Feb 3, 2009, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You've mentioned in another thread that your son is autistic. For that reason, you will have to deal with him a little differently.

Managing Tantrums in Autism Spectrum Disorders

The Autism Home Page

I missed this when I posted the other day. I will say we are in the same boat then. My daughter has a condition called Schizencephaly, it's a condition that affects the brain. We go through a lot of different things on a daily basis. But when I said about what the doctor had told me, she had also told me that even though Maddison has a special condition, sometimes she has to learn that she is treated just like everyone else, which includes being disciplined. Now that does not mean when she gets older and can not do well in school that I will discipline her the same as other children there, but in some cases you do have to treat them just like other children. I know at the end of the day sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I feel like I'm too stern with her beings she does have a disability, but then I have to remind myself that it doesn't matter, she is like other children but is just special in other areas. I hope this works out for you, try calling the doctor and asking for suggestions. Maybe they will tell you something more than any of us did.

noahsdad · Jun 7, 2009, 10:50 PM

I am a father of a 3yr son on the Spectrum, what services so you get/ABA OT SPEECH PT? ABA works on the issues you are talking about but the tantrums do get better they are still there. Does you're child speak? Our son would tantrum because we didn't understand him and it was frustrating. We work with sign and language and it works wanders. Remember Autistic children NEED repetition If the routine is broken it throws then off. Also many sensory issue lead to tantrums. Be patient be stern but understand he is just as confused as you, please email me if you have any questions or help with services >E-mail Removed<