[fwnaklas]

Thank you all for your responses... If you were watching how I act everyday the last 1,5 month you would see that I don't concern with her anymore... I do have feelings for her still but I don't text her, or try to find her, or speak with her or anything... I try to avoid having her in my life..

I think a new girl would be the best... but not a girl just for making out or something similar... If someone was watching my "relationship" with the girl I mention in my story would say that these 2 teens like each other and they make out from time to time.. but it was not like that... I really had feelings for her and I tried to have a relationship with her but not worked...

[fwnaklas]

Well my amhd profile says that I have not post something nowadays... so let me describe you in a few words how the days goo...

She is back with her boyfriend from distance... they are happy together... I am all alone thinking of her everyday and listening from mutual friends what she does in her life... and how happy she is...

How worse could it be :S... lucky me... I am so lucky guy... all now are a deep... :S...

I heard all of you saying "that you will have many chances and things like I that" I really respect your views... but in my situation I think it does not apply... 1 year after the first "burn' with her and still not even 1 chance... not even 1 :S...

And about that karma... I thought that you take what you give... I gave love and care.. I take sadness and dissapointment everyday... she gave false hope, fooled me, played with me and she takes love and happyness being in a relationship...

Sounds fair to me...

Thank you all for reading my stupidity... good day to everyone.. don't take me for a bad guy I just had to tell how I feel now :S... thank you again for your support...

[kctiger]

Erase her from your life and DO NOT try and dig for information about her life. You need to rebuild your life and quit worrying about hers. She doesn't matter. You do.

[talaniman]

Sorry for your loss, and hope you are enjoying sitting on your pity pot crying the blues.

After all this time you haven't moved your a$$ forward with your life, and made some adjustments with your attitude, and actions, that's all your fault pal.

don't take me for a bad guy I just had to tell how I feel!!

[fwnaklas]

Why it's my fault? Why is my fault that never a woman felt in love with me? This is my fault?

All that long I have not made not even one attempt to contact her... and out of nothing the past few weeks I met her many times...

I started thinking of her again... it's my fault that I still love her?

"sitting on my pity?" I don't really get it... Everyday I am out... with friends, boys and girls, many people... I am not inside house "crying" not even 1 day... I am always out, I am always living my life, going to gym, etc...

Every group of friends I have has great time with me and they laugh too much , and I don't say these to praise myself but just to show you that I go out and try to be funny and have nice time... And I always make people laugh and laugh myself too...

But when I am alone home thinking of everything... then I go down... (sometimes)...

What can I do ? Staying out all day? Never stay alone?
Of course is my fault not to have a woman fell in love with me ever... I just can't explain why is my fault?.

[Alty]

I started thinking of her again... it's my fault that I still love her?

It's your fault that you won't give up thinking about her, you won't move on. You're beating a dead horse, it's time to stop.

Love isn't something you can order, it isn't something that you can demand. It's either there, or it isn't. You just haven't met someone that feels that way, not yet.

You're in such a hurry to fall in love, live happily ever after that you aren't living in the now, in the day to day.

You're obsessing about this one failed attempt at a relationship and because of that you aren't moving on.

It's been over 4 months since you first posted this and you haven't made any progress. Why is that? Are you just unwilling to move on?

This is up to you, not us, not the girl, but you. You either continue the way you are right now, or you move on. Which will it be?

[fwnaklas]

I know alty that there is not future with that girl... I just feel jealous and frustrated with how things are right now... Because it's not fair to me... Because she is living happily in a relationship whereas I am all alone in the love department...

What you mean move on? In order to finally move on you need another person to get you out of there completely... You need a partner...

What I need is a girl to love me and love her back... That's all...

Anyway I don't really know what's the "problem" in my situation... But I think that these 4 months I try hard to move on... maybe the last 2 weeks I am down again...

I doubt I can do something... I think that 4 months now I did whatever I could...

I just have to accept it that is not "written" for me to enjoy relationships and find love...

What can we do about it :P... nothing... :)... thank you anyway for your comments and support...

[Alty]

What you mean move on? In order to finally move on you need another person to get you out of there completely... You need a partner...

Not true, in order to move on you have to learn to love yourself and learn not to rely on someone else for your happiness. Until you can learn to do that, you won't ever have a successful relationship.

What I need is a girl to love me and love her back... That's all...

What you need is to learn to be more independent. You are so obsessed with love that you're pushing everyone away. No one wants a guy that can't live without them. Women want a man that loves them but can also stand on his own. You think that love will fix everything in your life, but it won't.

I just feel jealous and frustrated with how things are right now... Because it's not fair to me... Because she is living happily in a relationship whereas I am all alone in the love department...

How is it not fair to you? She doesn't owe you anything. She has a right to happiness, it doesn't have to be with you.

I doubt I can do something... I think that 4 months now I did whatever I could...

No, for 4 months you've been hoping that she would be miserable without you, finally realize that you're the one and come back to you. Or you where hoping that at least she'd just be miserable. That's not doing whatever you can.

You are your own worst enemy. Until you can let go of the belief that you need love in order to be happy, you'll never find love. It's really that simple.

[talaniman]

What you mean move on? In order to finally move on you need another person to get you out of there completely... You need a partner...

This is your problem, you need someone else to make you happy instead of learning to love yourself, and have something good to share with another.

That makes you attractive to others, not the `"woe is me crap".

Sorry to be so harsh, but the last thing you need is coddling!!

[roxypox]

I'm going to be blunt and say that you have taken self pity to a whole other lvl. Really.

I know alty that there is not future with that girl... I just feel jealous and frustrated with how things are right now.... Because it's not fair to me... Because she is living happily in a relationship whereas I am all alone in the love department...

I get that you are jealous seeing as someone else are with the girl you want, but you can't blame her for not wanting you. Fact: Sometimes we fall for someone who have fallen for us. Fact: sometimes we fall for someone who doesn't want us. Either way you can't blame the other person for your unhappiness. The only one who has control over your life is you and you seriously need to accept the fact that this girl is with someone else and although your not in a relationship right now, that is not her fault.

What you mean move on? In order to finally move on you need another person to get you out of there completely.... You need a partner...

No you do NOT need another person to pull you out of that tiny hole you've put yourself in: The only one who can save you, is.... YOU!!

And you can not expect someone to save you in this.

Like alty said, you need to learn how to love yourself, you need to be happy with you and to MOVE ON! We can offer you advice, we can give you support, but when it all comes down to it you have to take the advice and move on.

What I need is a girl to love me and love her back.... That's all....

Most people wants love, someone who loves them and whom they can love back, but once again I really want to stress that you need to learn how to love yourself.

I sincerely hope you will just start moving on! And that you will stop asking for info on this girl it will just make matters worse.

1. do you really want to know?
2. Does it make matters any better?
3. do you really feel that you have a right to know?

[fwnaklas]

First of all I want to thank everyone for taking time and commenting for me really helpful views...
I just want to say something to defend myself... From all the replies you say that it's not the girl's fault to be pity about her... It's all her fault because we had something like an open relationship and she fulled me with hopes of something better so she was the one who made me fall so deeply in love with her and that's why I am in such mood for her...

Anyway I guess you must be right being happy just from yourself but many times I feel terrible for myself...

How can I be happy when I see people 2-3 years younger than me (15, 16 years old) having relationships, and many of them good relationships... When myself at my age I never had one...

I just feel "not-normal"... for not having a relationship at my age... and it's not the fact that I don't have one now... it's the fact that I never had one proper relationship... and even with that girl it was something very open and "stupid"...

Also I have to say that I never seemed sad or desperate for love in anyone except my closed-friends... Most people see me as a very funny guy and a good guy.. that's all... And also I never became clingy with her so as to turn her off... I never allow myself to seem clingy or anything like that...

Anyway thank you all for your comments... I hope that my brain will take your advices carefully and make some progress on me...

[Alty]

I just feel "not-normal"... for not having a relationship at my age... and it's not the fact that I don't have one now... it's the fact that I never had one proper relationship

I met my husband when we were both 19, that's not the norm. Most people don't find their "true love" until they're much older.

Yes I had relationship before I met hubby, but not good relationships.

Being with someone just for the sake of having someone isn't healthy, it's desperate.

Dating is fine, go out, have fun, but realize that not every girl you meet is going to fall in love with you or want a forever with you.

It's all her fault because we had something like an open relationship and she fulled me with hopes

Is there a ring on her finger from you? A marriage certificate? Did you pledge your undying love to each other and promise never to part? If not then she has every right to move on.

From what I read you two barely even had a relationship, you hardly ever met in person.

You're young, this is just one of many bumps in the road, but I suggest that you finish going over this bump and stop backtracking.

The longer you obsess about this, the longer it will take for you to get on with your life. Jealousy, anger, sadness about something you can't change is just a waste of time.

I hope you do find your way, but remember, that's up to you and only you, no one else is going to give you happiness if you can't find it within yourself.

Good luck. :)

[fwnaklas]

You are right alty and thank you again for your time... But you know... there are times when I think logically and I don't want to know anything about her...

But there are times that my curiosity and anger about her lead me to find out things (from mutual friend) about her that drive me crazy and make me sad...

I am so stupid that I even consider the chance of when they are going to meet again (they have a long distance relationship) I would like to fall on them so as to see them...

Just my stupidity :-S... I don't know what's wrong :-P...

[roxypox]

I might be a little cynical (hehe no wait I know I am) but I don't think there is just one possible partner out there for you. (or me or anyone), but some are more compatible than others.

you do seem a little desperate, but if I calculate correctly (2-3 years younger = 15, 16 year olds) that would make you 18... you're young and you have a whole life of possible relationships or a relationship ahead of you. You are in no hurry.

but you should really start with the dating like alty suggests and try to look for what you like in other people, what you would like in a potential girlfriend etc. and of course you should not read every positive thing from a girl as she is going to be yours forever... girls can be nice to guys without having a secret or sexual intention etc.

I really do hope you're going to think about all the advice you've gotten.

seriously, I'm 7 years older than you and sure I have two relationships behind me, but I don't really know what I want. I still need to figure that out. Its all apart of living I guess... so don't be stressed out about it.

just relax and see where life takes you!

good luck though! :)

[fwnaklas]

And what you mean dating? Asking girls out just the to us... All things are much easier for you women :P... After all I am bit shy guy... Asking a girl out is like I have something for her..

"Attacking" girls at bars and clubs... I have a chance a week ago... but I was afraid a bit and didn't make my move :-S...

[kctiger]

Don't sweat it man. I am a bit shy too, but don't let that inhibit your ability to have a decent conversation with a women. So many drunk a$$es go up to girls at bars, but rarely can they even manage a decent and compelling conversation. If you can at least talk to a women and have an intellectual and casual conversation, then ride with it. You don't always need to get the digits to 'score.'

[Alty]

All things are much easier for you women

You don't think it's hard for women to approach men? You're wrong, it is.

Rejection isn't easy for anyone, and putting yourself out there, risking getting hurt, that's never easy.

The fact is, if you don't ask you won't get. Sure, the girl might say no, but then again, she might say yes.

"Attacking" girls at bars and clubs

I really hope that this was just translated wrong. ;)

Attacking means : To set upon with violent force. To criticize strongly or in a hostile manner.

[fwnaklas]

No I mean is easier for you women because you just sit and wait from the man to do the rest... you relax and have 5-6 men asking for your number... that's pretty easy :P...

And secondly when I say "attacking" women I mean... trying to find women in bars and clubs... :p... of course nothing to do with violence...

[roxypox]

Kc: good suggestion! Personally I prefer the casual or intellectual conversation over sleezy drunk men who say cheezy stuff like: have I seen you before, you look like salma hayek (haha you might have beer goggles, but come on)

Alty: so true it isn't easier for us than for men... b\c you do risk rejection. It took me weeks to toughen up to tell this guy that I liked that I liked him and he rejected me... (hehe which is fine by the way I was just happy that I dared to.)

Fw: hehe I wish it was that easy. I'm more of a hunter then anything else (MAN did that sound bad), hopefully you get what I mean. I'm not really one for waiting around. Besides I like the challenge.

[roxypox]

Ps" I take back the thing about: have I seen you before as sleezy... a better suggestion is: I have a brand new bed, want to try it out?