[stephanie808]

My daughter is 15 months old today she has lived a life with her father mentally abusing me since the day that she was born. I have tried getting out on two separate occasions but every time the father has some slick scheme to get me to come back home. I am now 32 weeks pregnant with our second child. I had no idea that I was pregnant because I was on birth control and having regular periods. My boyfriend does not believe me. He has gone so far as to call the drug store and have someone to impersonate me to get a list of the drugs that I am on. I didn't think that drug stores could dilvulge the information to anyone besides the patient. I suppose that I was wrong. I feel as if my life has been invaded by others. He called the cops on me after he found out that I didn't get my med's from that particular drug store and told the cops that I had forged a documet to try to fool him. The sad part is that he had no document to prove his claim he also didn't have the drug store call my phone. I am not allowed to leave the house or do anything on my own. I am not allowed to take my daughter out and he wouldn' t even let me go to the court house to file for custody of our daughter. I work night shift and I have to leave home in the evenings he tells me that I am a _igg_er. I don't like the word and that I work that type of job. He thinks that I should quit my job even though I am the one that works and pays for everything besides the house payment. I feel that my most important job is supporting my daughter, giving her cloths, food, love, health insurance. All that her father can think of is that he did everything quit his job moved 4 hours away from his family to have the lifestyle that he dreamed of. Well in the commuinty that he choose I couldn't find a good job and so things didn't work our for me to leave my current job which I have been at for 7 years. He doesn't even have a job anymore. He has a business scamming people out of 35 dollars for a job application that they could pick up on their own. He spends hours in the evenings on the phone and watching porn on the internet while our daughter sits in a swing watching cartoons. She is up all hours of the night because he won't put her to bed at 9 or 10 pm which means she sleeps most of the day, not healthy. He regularly calls the cops on me and is trying to prove me unfit. He yells at me and tells me that I am nothing he will grab our daughter out of my arms and push me. He has let me know that I am nothing to him and that he will stop at nothing so that he can get full custody of our daughter. He has told me that he wants nothing to do with the new baby and that he will make me have an abortion if it is at all possible. I am just wondering my chances at getting custody of my daughter and getting a protective order from him and his abusive, controlling ways. Please forgive any spelling errors, I can't get spell check to work.

[KBC]

Steph, look at this site and make a decision.

Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self

Then seek out the public defenders office,neighborhood legal aid,even a women's shelter,YWCA,anyplace safer than where you are today.

It takes 2 to argue,don't be number 2.

KBC

[sunshineangel]

Your kids aren't old enough to be fully effected by what's going on right now but they will be soon. My advice is get out of there. I know that can be extremely difficult but any child who has gone through the situation will tell you it's a living nightmare. Leaving your boyfriend will ensure you're children do not have to deal with the pain that comes from living with an abusive man. It will be hard that's guaranteed but at least you won't be hurting as I'm sure you have been in the past because of what he's done. Sometimes living with nothing is better than living with that. I wouldn't be so worried about custody. If you can prove anything your boyfriend has done that's a plus but usually it's not like that. Must judges can see a "player" as soon as they walk into their court room. Good luck, everything will turn out all right as long as you take some action to protect you and your kids.

[Choux]

You have to stop enjoying being a victim!! Lots of drama, but you have to have your eye on growing up and being a good person and a good mother to your child, and soon children.

Sick relationships make for sick children. You don't want to ruin a child, do you?

Go get some professional help and leave this mess behind.

Good luck in the future, :)

[roxypox]

I agree with all of the above. You should probably get out! Like choux said: sick relationships do make for sick children. I grew up with a mom who as periodicly abused pills, and when ever she was on a pill-popper-trip (as I like to call it) she wasn't a very nice person to be around. And if you don't want to get out for you, then you should get out for the sake of your children...

Good luck!