[LifeChangesMan]

So day 11 of NC for me. I'm doing well I got my head up I got class and some homework to do today, but I want to say last night, I was overcome with this feeling of not wanting my love of my life back in my life, because I just got that feeling of being so so betrayed because if she truly felt the way she did about me she wouldn't hurt me like this and leave me in limbo, so I'm tired of preparing for the what-if, I'm just going to play my cards dealt to me everyday, and live my life and not worry about anyone else.

[talaniman]

so I'm tired of preparing for the what-if, I'm just going to play my cards dealt to me everyday, and live my life and not worry about anyone else.

Glad you came to that conclusion on your own, as waiting for some one to change their mind, or do what you want, is a complete waste of time.

Especially when you consider there is so much to do in the real world.

[LifeChangesMan]

Hey tal, I'm learning man! Of course I still hope for the best but, jeez if I can't talk to someone I can't really persuade anyone to want to be with me, but I realized more importantly if she's truly in love with me she needs to realize she wants me on her own, otherwise we're right back to living a lie. But like I said it's strange how life works itself out. :)

[talaniman]

You have nothing to prove, and plenty to do. Do it, and enjoy it.

If your smart, sell the tickets and return the gift.

Nobody kicks you to the curb, and gets rewarded for it. Are you nuts!!

[LifeChangesMan]

I think your right about the gift. I just thought it would show I still love her or whatever, because I do but, your right she's killing me with NC for 11 days now and I don't think I deserved this but hell, it turned my life right around.

I'll just let time take my wrist and guide me where to go.

[LifeChangesMan]

Hey, it's about going on day 13 of NC and I just want to talk about what has occurred my buddy went out last night to eat with his friends and saw my ex with this kid who she used to claim to be her friend during the time we were dating and I still believe that's the case I won't jump to conclusions because I feel she still loves me, my buddy waved to her and she completely ignored him he said, when I heard this news my heart dropped to the floor of course and I immediately wanted to rush to the phone and call her and I picked up my phone, and threw it down and thought about it, I trust her with this kid now I should trust her with him while we were together, and by her KNOWING my buddy is going to comeback and tell me what he saw and her with this kid, and her thinking I'm a control freak, then me not calling her or texting her to see what was going on and what's the deal, I feel should probably really get in her head and rattle her. So I'm continuing with the NC and we will see what happens, and if she will finally just come out and tell me face to face or anyway that she's moving on and wants nothing to do with me OR she's going to miss me, and want to work it out and comeback... but either way I'm okay with it, this all happens for a reason, please give your opinions on the dinner scenario, thanks everyone

[talaniman]

Forget it, its none of your business, any more.

[LifeChangesMan]

So that's it? I need to just get over a 4 year relationship and move on with the snap of a finger? Maybe, this is so hard because of all the times she said we'd be together forever and the whole nine yards, and I'm still telling myself how much I love her, but in reality she's all I ever knew and I'm making her out to be better then she really is, because if she truly loved me, she wouldn't have left me wondering and broken my heart like this, how's that?

[talaniman]

How about go bowling, or fishing, and get some action to meet your words, and intentions.

The last thing you need is to keep dwelling on the past, and how great it was. Make the present, and the future even better.

The more proactive we are with the healing process, the more successful we are at, getting back to a healthy reality.

[LifeChangesMan]

Like I want to talk to all my friends about the situation so they know, should I just not talk about it anymore? Like I think keeping it in would hurt, like talking on this site and such makes me feel better.

[kctiger]

You can talk to anyone about it... the worst thing you can do is hold all of the emotions in. I talked about it so much that now I am at the point to where I am sick of talking about, thus I RARELY even mention my ex's name. Parting of moving on is getting your emotions out... just because you talk about it doesn't mean you aren't getting over it. Tal is right, the more proactive you are in rebuilding your life the more rewarding things will be for you.

[LifeChangesMan]

So, I wound up seeing my girlfriend, she drove past me and I waved she didn't see me I think, but I got behind her and honked my horn and I waved and she looked at me in the side view and waved and smiled a little bit, and then I talked to my buddys girl that went out with her and she said that my girlfriend stated, I love him, I don't want anyone else, I just want my space to go out with my friends and stuff right now, she asked her if we'd get back together and she said she doesn't know yet, then she said did you break up with him, and she said I don't know I really didn't give an answer to him, and all this while wearing and playing with the necklace I bought her. My question is now Monday will be two weeks, do I ask her what's going on does she want to be single and me out of her life, or does she want to work it out, or do I still let her go and not talk to her? I think I might need to make her realize she's losing me by doing this because I don't think she wants that, PLEASE give opinions!

[kctiger]

I really think you need to keep up the no contact. If she still loved you, as she says, then she would still be your girlfriend. You can't keep hanging on until she makes her mind up... that is not fair to you.

[LifeChangesMan]

So just let go?

[kctiger]

Exactly

[LifeChangesMan]

This is where I feel in my heart that Monday will be 2 weeks of NC I think I am going to call her and ask her what's the deal does she want me in her life or not? And if she's like I don't know or something I'll tell her I'm moving on then because I can't be held in limbo forever.

[wikedjuggalo]

this is where i feel in my heart that monday will be 2 weeks of NC i think i am going to call her and ask her whats the deal does she want me in her life or not? and if she's like idk or something i'll tell her i'm moving on then because i can't be held in limbo forever.

Do not call her! You will be pushing her further. You are not in limbo you are BROKEN UP. Treat it as such. Ball inst in your court to be making phone calls and I can most certainly tell you how that conversation will go and its not what you want. Live your life like you did before her and should she call go from there.

[Romefalls19]

Don't call her, let her have the space she needs. The NC will do two things, help you deal with life without her in it and also give her the space she wants. Don't play any games with her, and making all the effort is going to make you seem like a b*tch, no offense. But things fall apart so better fall together, just keep your head up and continue with the NC

[LifeChangesMan]

Well, we spoke today and small talk she said brought up going out to dinner with some guy that my buddy saw her with and I said to her I told him I'm sure it's just a friend and after 10 minutes, she said yeah... then I said I hope to meet your friends sometimes soon and then she said this to me, "i don't want to lead you on that everything is gonna be ok. because i'm doing good. i feel like i'm finally myself again and i lost that while i was with you.i changed myself so much to keep you happy that i couldn't make myself happy anymore. i didn't like who i was." so, basically I think she found someone else after 4 years and this is her excuse because she's pointing everything at me while I feel like I was a great boyfriend and did nothing wrong. You guys were right, I shouldn't give my love to this person.

[kctiger]

I know how it feels man. Don't let her chicken sh*t excuse make you think that you were a bad boyfriend. It didn't work out, and now you have the closure you need to be done with her FOREVER.